Absolutely true story you won't read in the newspaper:
A convenience-store worker decided this week that the job wasn't for him. So he walked away from his overnight shift at an east Springfield store -- but not before leaving behind a piece of himself.
Or rather, pieces.
Surveillance video shows the man stripped naked and defecated throughout the store, sources say. Police were called; they in turn called health department workers, who summoned an environmental clean-up company to get rid of the bio-hazard. The store reportedly had to restock its inventory.
Dude, we've all had crappy jobs.