Tuesday, September 20, 2005

GOD LOVES KEY WEST, CUBA

Religious conservatives -- the Pat Robertsons and Jerry Falwells of the allegedly civilized world -- have said that natural disasters are often proof of God's wrath on the godless.

Katrina hit New Orleans because Ellen Degeneres is from there and she's a lesbian. Makes perfect sense, yes?

(Robertson, in fact, was very explicit about Degeneres being to blame for Katrina, telling his 700 Club audience: "This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards. America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.")

Using Robertson's "logic," Hurricane Rita proves that God loves Key West and Cuba. The growing storm threaded the needle between those two godforsaken lands, sparing the lives of wretched communists and debauched homosexuals.

Going one step further: Rita is forecast to slam into Texas and pass almost directly over Crawford, home to President Bush's beloved ranch. What say you, Pat Robertson?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The website you link to for the Robertson quote is a parody news site. Not that I don't believe he would say something like that, but that particular quote is fiction.

bboldt2 said...

Thanks Ron…
for making me seem like an even bigger, more gullible fool than I already am. Very funny! Here is my contrite retraction I had to send to all my friends.

Dear friends,

I must humbly apologize to all my friends for yesterday’s email concerning Pat Robertson. Pass the crow please.


The blog that was my source of the story (Chatter by Ron Davis) has generally proved reliable in the past. Needless to say I will not be 4warding anything from his site in the future unless confirmed by a second reliable source. This is the sort of disinformation we do NOT need. After all the Right does it so much better.

Two reasons I sent it off without further checking were: the lateness of the hour and the basic verisimilitude of the story. The authors of this hoax need to be taught a few basics of the art form.

Most important of all is that the story (hoax) must really stretch the envelope of credibility. All this story did was make up a false quote that certainly is well within the realm of ol’Pat’s weltanschauung. Ellen's “sin” calling down the wrath of Katrina on New Orleans is a less outrageous concept than Pat and Jerry claiming that Pagans, homosexuals and People for the American Way caused God to remove his protective hand from our nation on 9/11 (or even Pat’s call for the assassination of Chavez for that matter.) Come on, If you are going to tell a story, at least make it a good one!

Case in point is the now legendary account about LBJ ejaculating into JFK’s throat wound on the AF1 return flight from Dallas to Washington as reported by Paul Krassner in the Realist. The story scandalized the press at the time because it was such an outrageous, creative stretch of the popular mindset, and yet LBJ was known by insiders for behavior that made such a story at least probable.

Where is Paul Krassner now that we need him?

Below is the email that set me straight on this fiasco.

Thanks John.

+++++++++++++++++++


It was my understanding that the original news story about ol' Patty supposedly blaming the hurricane on Ellen DeGeneres was taken from a satirical website. I did a quick Google search, and the source was a website called "Dateline Hollywood," which featured such other items as "Conan O'Brien Banned from Emmys due to Humor" and "Celebrities Share Blackout Horror Stories," etc. Indeed, Dateline Hollywood featured a "follow-up response" by Robertson in which he "clarifies" that God intends to smite America with earthquakes, not hurricanes. But not surprisingly, other websites and alleged news sources ran with this story and and repeated it as gospel truth (no pun intended). This has happened several times before with articles printed in The Onion (although it's usually right-wingers that don't get the joke, suckered by bogus stories about "Homosexual Membership Drives" and "al-Quaida telemarketing").

While the ludicrous behavior of the religious right is something about which every thinking American should be concerned, it doesn't do any good to go around spreading inaccuracies and half-truths. That's what Fox News does, and I'd like to think we're all a little smarter and more ethical than that.

Peace

John

++++++++++++++++

Right on John!


PS
Thanks for giving me an excuse to use "weltanschauung." Haven’t used it in years!