Monday, October 24, 2005

LOCAL WOMAN DISCOVERS ORAL SEX

Susan Hom of Springfield announces a major breakthrough in sexuality -- teens are having oral sex.

Not only that, but it's all Bill Clinton's fault.

Ms. Hom's breathtaking news can be found in a letter to the editor of the Springfield News-Leader (first in family living coverage and don't you forget it):
A few thoughts after watching the "Today Show" on Friday, where I learned that more than 50 percent of American 16- to 19-year-olds have had oral sex.

A group interview with several teens revealed that this behavior is considered less intimate than sexual intercourse, that it doesn't really equal having sex and that it doesn't require protection from STDs.

Surprised? Not I.

In 1998, these teens were children watching nightly TV news reports of our president's impeachment. Just as we adults did, over and over they heard him defend himself with: "It depends on what you mean by 'having sex.'" They also saw the rise to near-stardom of the young intern complicit in the Oval Office misbehavior. And although teens should know better than to disregard the risk of STDs — they have had sex education in school, after all — apparently abstinence-based curriculum hasn't quite succeeded in informing them.

So to those who continue to question the abundant evidence that television models have profound influences on young viewers, and to those surprised by reports like the one on "Today" indicating that youth don't know much better even after sex education, I would say this: "Like, duh?!"
When your party's full of crooks and headed south faster than a White House intern, there's only one thing to do: blame Bill Clinton. This week, especially, the Republicans need a diversion.

12 comments:

doclarryb said...

And where do they think Bill Clinton got the idea that oral sex wasn't equal to "having sex?" Go back to the news reports of the time and be reminded of the media's amazement that this attitude existed among teens of the time.

And certainly Ms. Hom must realize it was the Republicans who insisted Bill Clinton be impeached for getting a blow job that set up the wall-to-wall coverage on the nightly news and cable networks.

Why are Republicans so obsessed with oral sex?

Ron Davis said...

Umm, because they don't get much of it? We once interviewed a prominent local "Christian conservative" about homosexuality. He insisted that heterosexual oral sex wasn't common.

Really? "Oh yes," he said. "I think you'll find it's very rare indeed."

This explained much about the man.

Anonymous said...

I find it interesting that you all seem to think Hom is a Republican and a (by implication) Christian :-)

What's your evidence?

A. Cline
rhetorica.net

DocLarry said...

Hmmm, why do you think we think Hom is a Republican or Christian? I pointed out it was Republicans who led the charge for impeachment based on oral sex and queried why they were so obsessed with it. I believe it is possible to infer, as you did, that Hom may be Republican since she seems a bit obsessed with oral sex and Bill Clinton, and since Republicans still have Clinton under their skin.

Mr. Davis uses a Christian Conservative tale to explain the perceived mindset of Christian Conservatives. And again, you infer he connects Hom with Christian Conservatives.

Given the history of Christian Conservatives largely voting Republican and Republicans' obsession with Bill Clinton, it is not unreasonable to consider Hom to be either a Christian Conservative or a Republican, but I don't believe we state or imply this to be the case. Rather, I believe you have inferred this to be true.

Ron Davis said...

To her credit, Hom also blames "television models" and takes a swipe at "abstinence-based curriculum."

To her discredit, she misquotes Clinton, who actually said, "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." And Hom does not assign any responsibility to the parents of those oral sex lovin' teens (or would that be "oral-sex lovin' teens"?).

Andy, your normally keen observational skeels and Spidey sense have failed you here. The anecdote was in response to Doc Larry's comment about Republicans and oral sex. The prominent conservative, who professed to being a Christian, was vocal in his embrace of the GOP.

Is Hom a Republican? Dunno. Is she a Christian? Don't know that, either. I do know her letter is a hoot.

Anonymous said...

Ron et. a. Yes, I'm inferring and shouldn't. I was also hoping one of you would take that bait. Silly me for trying :-) I'm also just having a little bit of fun because I know Hom.

But, here's something I think is interesting to think about. What if the person who wrote that is a liberal humanist? Would that change your reading and or opinion of it? Not that it should...but it could.

Anonymous said...

Oh...that last comment was mine. forgot to sign it.

A. Cline

Ron Davis said...

If Hom is a liberal -- and I want to infer this from your comments, but dammit, I'm afraid, there might be bait! -- then I'd be disappointed. Or, at the least, wondering if "liberal" is the right word to help define her political views.

I'd hope liberals -- and humanists -- would be less keen on blaming the media for alleged social ills (kids watch nightly news, hear Clinton discuss oral sex, start going down themselves) and more interested in creating solutions for adults charged with rearing children.

Or maybe it's all supposed to be satire.

Anonymous said...

Ron... No, I learned my lesson on the first attempt to bait the conversation ;-)

I haven't talked to Susan about it, but my wife exchanged e-mail with her earlier today. Apparently she's distressed about the headline, which does affect one's reading. Plus, I think she could have used an editor ;-)

I cannot speak to her politics or religion, but I'm in a position to guess that she's a liberal humanist...and I know she's an academic :-)

A. Cline

John Stone said...

Andy, you have to remember, that there was a vote of the membership of the Springfield Blogger's Beer and Nachos Club a month or so back. There is "no" Ron Davis. He is an FOI, Figment of the Imagination"

The vote was 2-0 as I recall.

So it's barely possible to bait a non-existent bear. I can barely bear that thought myself.

John Stone said...

I forgot to mention, in my talk with some of the fundies around town, I got the impression that the only gawd-approved sex was, man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick, Southern Baptist sex.

This town needs more Wiccan and Unitarian girls who would be willing to go out with me.

DocLarry said...

Bait? Isn't that what they sell at Bass Pro?

More importantly, when all news media marketers lament at the low audience numbers in the teen to young adult demographic, how can anyone honestly blame the news media for actions and/or behavior (John, settle) of that same demographic?

In other words (to borrow a phrase from the preznet), how could all the news media talk of Clinton's blow job cause teens to have oral sex when teens do not watch, read, or listen to the news media?