MAN HAS STICKY BUNS

Bob Dougherty is in the news because of something he said happened two years ago at a Home Depot in Louisville, Colo. Dougherty claims someone put glue on a toilet seat. End result: a bond that, when broken, liberated Dougherty from some skin. Dougherty is now suing Home Depot for $3 million.

Tuesday brought doubts about Dougherty. The Rocky Mountain News reports:

The Boulder County man who claims his rear end was glued to a toilet seat in Home Depot in 2003 today vehemently denied allegations he made a similar report about a toilet seat in a Nederland town visitors' center last year.

In a statement issued today by his lawyer, Bob Dougherty also said he’d be willing to consent to a polygraph test if a news organization organized and paid for it.

His lawyer, Mark Cohen, could not be reached for comment.

On Monday, Ron Trzepacz, Nederland's former director of operations, said from his New York home that Dougherty came to him in the summer of 2004 to complain that his behind had been glued to a toilet seat.

In the 2004 incident, Dougherty, 57, said he was able to pull himself from the seat in the visitors center bathroom, Trzepacz told the Rocky Mountain News.

His verbal complaint made it no further than Trzepacz, who said he personally inspected the bathroom and found no adhesive residue and "no indication that anything had been on the toilet seat."

No police report was ever filed and no medical professionals were called to the site, said Trzepacz, who worked for the town for 13 years.

We wondered how the nefarious bandit kept his ass-glue from drying before a victim plopped down on the toilet seat. Now we might have an answer.