Saturday, November 05, 2005

TASHA HENDERSON: MOTHER OF THE YEAR

Henderson's 14-year-old daughter made some bad grades at Memorial High School in Edmund, Okla. You know what that means.

From the Daily Oklahoman:
The girl was forced to stand for an hour Friday on the well-traveled Edmond corner of Memorial and Boulevard, holding a sign insinuating that she is destined for the streets if her grades don’t improve.

The sign read: “I don’t do my homework and I act up in school, so my parents are preparing me for my future. Will work for food.” The Edmond School District was closed Friday for teacher conferences. The 14-year-old stood still and silent on the corner while people in passing cars pointed and jeered. The only words she uttered when questioned by The Oklahoman were: “My teachers lied on me.”

Her mother, Tasha Henderson, doesn’t buy that excuse. She said she had tried all other ways to get her daughter to pay more attention in school.

“I told her if she didn’t get her grades up, she would be out on the corner, so here we are,” she said. “I gave her fair warning; I had to stick to my guns.”

Police Sgt. Randy Chapa arrived at the scene and told the mother she could be cited for psychological abuse of a child. Instead, Chapa wrote a report because the sign posed a safety distraction to drivers and a danger to the teenager.
Man, we were with the girl until she pulled the "my teachers lied on me" excuse.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

VERY SAD FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR CHILDREN?

Anonymous said...

Its mothers like her that care for their children and realize that now is the time to address behavioural issues. Once they leave the house, its too late.

Anonymous said...

AMEN. I get so sick and tired of the psycho garbage. Most of them don't have any children. Too much power is given to some of these kids today. That's why our detention centers, suspension centers, jails, residential facilities, and Court dockets are full today. I honor you Ms. Henderson!

Anonymous said...

Right On, give this woman a gold star for caring and getting her daughter's attention. In today's world there are not enough parents like this. THREE CHEERS FOR TASHA HENDERSON....

Ron Davis said...

It's not a matter of "what's happening to our children." That's such a cop-out. It excuses such behavior. IT'S THE LANGUAGE OF THE HELPLESS.

Sorry for shouting. But this isn't "sad." This is inexcusable -- this being the behavior of a 14-year-old who clearly thinks her waste doesn't stink.

It does. It reeks.

A lot of attention is being paid right now to another 14-year-old girl, Kara Beth Borden. You know, the girl whose boyfriend, 18, shot her parents dead and grabbed her from the house. Kara Beth Borden probably never imagined her boyfriend would kill her parents. She never imagined that her actions -- staying out all night with someone who's a legal adult -- would have such consequences. But sometimes they do.

Anonymous said...

It's about time a parent has some right to disipline THERE children. We so called CAN'T spank or even raise voice anymore. Psyco babblers and Social workers BUTT out. It's time parents become parents again, before we all end up in body bags because we said no to a child. IT IS LACK OF DISCIPLINE PLAIN AND SIMPLE THAT IS RUINING THIS WORLD. Even GOD said spare the rod spoil the child.
And no I don't condone child abuse at all. Beating is not necessary ever. There is a fine line between disciple and abuse. But we do need to have backbone enough to love our children by not letting them do everything they want and stand up and be the parent. Say no and mean it and do what you have to do. Thank God Ms.Henderson figured that out before it was too late for one of her children. Good luck in the future and do what you have to do. Your Child will thank you later and I am betting no psycological problems at all. You go girl.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with Mrs. Henderson's tactics. What she made her daughter endure was no more harmful to her psyche than what she would inevitably endure in life if she continued to not be serious about her education. Would she have been embarrassed when she got lost on a road trip because she could not read well. Might she have suffered embarrassment when she had to stand in a welfare line waiting for government assistance. Tarsha Henderson wasn't having it. Not today! Our society tries to intellectualize to many things, this was a mother who said I know what's out there and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that my child succeeds. By the way did any of the complaining psychologists offer Tarsha and her daughter any free couch time to help them address her issues? I didn't think so!!!! Kudos Tarsha Henderson. You sound like my mother and I turned out fine!!!

Anonymous said...

Kudos Mrs. Henderson! Why didn't I think of that?~Farrell L. Griffin

Anonymous said...

Good for you Mrs. Henderson!!! Too many parents today do not pay attention to their child's actions. As a former instructor of GED preparation for "at risk" teens, I can tell you from experience, you have to be radical at times to get through to them!
As far as psychological "scars" that will remain from your daughter's experience...I am not a professional psychologist but, I think that the psychological effect on her will be more likely to cause her to think twice before acting out and she might just realize that she is responsible for her actions. Hopefully she will thank you one day.
Julie

Dawn said...

Tasha Henderson is not a monster!She is showing her daughter how much she cares for and loves her. If only more people had this kind of love for their children our nation's children would be less selfish and more selfless, less lazy and more hardworking, less criminal and more upright. Tasha should be held up as a wonderful example of creative discipline. As a parent SHE is responsible for the training of her child, not the school, not the government, and not the church. I am so encouraged to read about her courage in dealing with her stubborn, lazy daughter. A little shame and humiliation can work wonders. We are told by the powers that be that we cannot utilize the old tried and true methods of discipline on our children, and so in many cases our children are insulated from the consequences of their behavior. This nation is raising a generation of self-centered, spoiled, and foolish children who will grow to be adults with the same dreadful character flaws and who will NOT then be protected from their stupidity (willfull ignorance). The time for children to experience consequences for wrong choices is when they are young, for then as they grow to adulthood they may remember that everything they do (or fail to do) will have and earthly (and eternal) consequence. Tasha Henderson loves her daughter enough to allow her to experience the consequences of her poor choices NOW, when the cost is relatively low. I will be praying for you, Tasha. Stay strong in your resolve!

Dawn

fulanaymengana said...

Dear Mrs. Henderson,

Thank you for being a responsible and loving parent. Life is tough and you are trying to give your daughter the skills she needs to cope with what she'll face in the future.

As a teacher, too often I see parents who flee their responsibilities and leave raising their child to others and only have time for "fun" with their children.

It's not enough to reward a child if you "catch" him doing something good, if that child constantly misbehaves, defies authority and refuses to do what is best for himself.

Good deeds should be recognized and rewarded. Bad behavior should be identified and punished. Not punishing children for bad behavior leads them to believe that they can do anything and not have to bear the consequences.

Does anyone remember the "scared straight" philosophy?

When children misbehave, they are begging their parents to place limits on their behavior and enforce discipline. Parents who do not limit their childrens' poor behavior, condone it by their inaction. Children who are only rewarded for good behavior learn that they can get away with bad behavior and then "act right" in order to earn a reward. This is called manipulation.

I've taught many of these children. Inviariably, later on, life teaches them a harsh lesson. It's too bad that they didn't have a mom like Mrs. Henderson who is willing to risk a moment of her daughter's approval for a lifetime of self-sufficiency and respect.

Mrs. Henderson, you're a winner and your daughter is a fortunate girl. I'm absolutely sure she will thank you for this life-changing experience when she's a mature, self-displined young woman.

Bravo!

fulana

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful Mother and a lesson to us all!!! There is no right or wong way in raising children. It is what is working and what is not working at the time. These college phys! are so full of themselfs and have damaged socities way we try to raise our children, Some of them have none!

Anonymous said...

I would like to say that I am a behavioral health technician and have worked with children and adults. I want to let people know one of the requirements at a treatment center I worked at was to have a child wear a sign around their neck stating what they had done to end up in treatment and to ask them why. This was a respected tool that we used for EVERY child. There is nothing wrong with using this for children and it is not proven to damage them at all. Way to go for stepping up and being a parent.

Anonymous said...

I came on the website to offer my support of this mother in the event that no one else was. I'm so glad to see that everyone who has posted sees the benefit of this mother's actions. I agree with the sentiment that it is a lack of disciple that is ruining our children. The whole slacker age, to which I was born, I think can be attributed to children who didn't have to do chores and were allowed to talk back to their parents. I hope that when my fiance and I have children we will be strong enough to fight of the laziness that we are prone to and be as good of a parent as this woman. Today Mrs. Henderson, you are my hero.
-CJ

Cherisse said...

Dear Mrs. Henderson,

Got any room in your home to adopt and raise some of these knuckleheads in my neighborhood? How about giving some seminars on how to be a real parent? Or maybe some enlightment workshops to all these so-called child psychologists who have lots to say about what can't be done while more and more children are marched off to jail or simply just wiped out on the streets? Don't let nobody turn you around, just follow your heart and I pray your daughter follows your example!

Anonymous said...

I am a master's level therapist and I agree with the mother. Stop blaming the psychologists and social workers and the "psychobabble" for not letting parents be parents. Blame the parents for not being parents and having children they don't really want to take care of!!

Anonymous said...

It's about time for this type of discipline. Shame on all those who have condemned her parenting tactics. Her daughter hasn't missed a day of school since the incident. Teens endure far more psychological trauma from peers from drug/sex/humiliation issues within school. At least her daughter is one step closer to the right path.

Kudos Mrs. Henderson

Anonymous said...

tasha henderson's daughter might not thank her now, but whenever she is a productive, sucessful member of society, she will. some day she is going to say "i owe it all to my mom!"
amazing job tasha!

Anonymous said...

All I can say in that in a office full of social workers, the overwhelming majority voted for Tasha. The one person who didn't just got back from a vacation in Hawaii that her Monny paid for and she is 35! Go Tasha!

Anonymous said...

Tasha, YOU ROCK!
People all over the country should pay attention. Desperate situations call for desperate measures and you took it upon yourself to solve the problem in a non-violent way, that illustrated, to your child, what will follow unless she straightens out.

When nothing else works, you must take the hard road, and you did. God bless you! Your child will when she graduates from college. As a tax paying working adult, I have to praise you for not allowing things to spiral out of control, taking responsibility for your child, and helping your child understand what it is she must do to function in a society. If everyone did this, this country's problems would be solved once and for all.

Cheers and keep up the great parenting. You are an inspiration to all of us.

-Neil
Baltimore, MD

Anonymous said...

God bless Mrs. Henderson and her daughter!!! Sometimes a parent has to act drastically to counteract a child who has gone too far. This child was not harmed. She may have been embarrassed and she SHOULD be for getting poor grades and acting disrepectfully. She deserves to be embarrassed. And shame on her for bringing any embarrassment onto her family. I applaud that a parent would go to such lengths to try to get her child back on the right track. And I abhore all those who dared to say she was abusing her child. Who is the child abusing by being disrespectful and earning grades that will not allow her to go to college or follow her dreams??? Good for you Mrs. Henderson for doing what you need to do to save your child's future. Best wishes!!!

Lauren said...

Having a mother who actually cares about her childrens grades is wonderful. When i was in high school i got bad grades and my mom always gave me the lectures on where i would be in 10 years if i kept it up. Only difference is my mom made me practice, "Welcome to MCDonalds may I take your order" I hope her daughter learned a lesson. WAY TO GO YOU ARE AWESOME

Bulbul said...

Give me a break. We are complaining about a mom to social services, who actually cares for her child? The moron who complained to social services either doesn't have kids or just wants cheap publicity. In fact he should be sued for causing the pschynological trauma (the mother is now going through)

Here is a mom, who is indeed concerned about her child's future. People should applaud her courage. Way to go..

Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs. Henderson,
Please let us know when you go on the lecture circuit so we can get you booked locally. And if you decide to go into consulting, we'd like to know that as well. Sincerely, Parents of Six

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Mrs. Henderson, for being so creative in dealing with your child. I listened to this story with my 16 year old in the car. We both thought it was very creative. It's a great teaching opportunity for every parent of a teenager.

Anonymous said...

Hurrah for Mrs. Henderson! Her actions were dictated by love for her daughter, and could possibly turn her life around at the exact time she needs the positive influence of such an act. As discipline has declined in our schools and homes, so has the respect the youth of today give to teachers, family, and others in the community. More parents need to take such an active role in shaping their childen's attitudes today as Mrs Henderson has done.

Anonymous said...

I dunno...
I saw the picture posted with the MSN artcle, and my gut response is that you have a healthy sense of humor, Tasha Henderson. (lord knows raising kids in this day and age requires it!)
But I still see it as this: You weren't so much poking fun at your daughter, as dealing with her lousy attitude, period.
All those folks out there shrieking "child abuse"...go kind of numb and dumb when confronted with high school dropout rates.
14 year-old girls have been known to wrap the world around their little pinkies (how they learn!) but it's nice to know that doesn't work with Mom...
(did someone call someone's bluff?)
You know, that term, "tough love" may get tough sometimes...but people love to forget that there are TWO words in that term.
When we love our kids we get a little creative, sometimes...even a little desperate.
Hopefully this daughter will go on to a life that has more satisfaction than just working for food...(and learn that healthy rebellion, questioning authority in a learned, informed manner, thinking for herself and becoming her own person)...is due process and required results of an adequate education.
Academics may not be everything in this world, but it sure helps in making sense out of the school of life!

Tara McNally, MOTS said...

There should be more mothers in the world that care this much about their child's behaviour and how it will impact their future. I am 25 years old and I grew up in a time and place that all my mother had to do was give me that "look" and I knew if I didn't straighten up or do what I was told I was definitely headed for a paddling. The problem these days is that children no longer respond to what I call "passive punishment." It's a joke to them and very rarely makes an impact on their behaviour. Did anyone stop to think how much her daughter embarrased her? I would bet any amount of money that this child won't forget this lesson in responsibility for one's own actions.

Jo Merrell said...

It doesn't take a village to raise a child...it takes responsible parents like Tasha Henderson. The village idiots need to shut up and take notes.

Anonymous said...

Good Work Tasha. My Dad put signs around my brother and I neck and walked us around the stores that we shoplifted from. "I am a Thief" Bothered us at the time but neither of us have stolen anything since. Good Work.

Anonymous said...

WoW! I wish i had the guts to do this with my 14 year old. I applaud you with all my heart! I think you showed the world that you cared enough to do the very best for daughter. Bravo!