SPEAKING OF CHENEY ...

Scarier than Lon Chaney, the vice president has inspired Steve Martin to pen a hilarious two grafs at the Huffington Post:

Vice President Dick Cheney, while hunting wild geese in the Rose Garden, accidentally shot President Bush twice, once in the heart and once in the head. "I didn't really shoot the President twice," said Cheney. "The second time I shot him, I was president. It wasn't until my third shot, where I accidentally shot my own foot, that I had shot the president twice.

I was officially injured and unable to govern, when Dennis Hastert came in, and stepped on the butt handle of the rifle causing it to swing up like a rake and shoot his hair off. I guess I'm officially responsible for that too, meaning I shot the acting president for a total of three occupants of the oval office. I'm not proud, but it is a record."

While all attention is focused on the shooter, scant notice is paid to Scooter, the veep's former right-hand man. Lewis Libby, it seems, uses his own special weird-ass code while taking notes. According to CNN:

Prosecutors have asked former vice presidential Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby to help them decipher his handwritten notes for use in an ongoing investigation stemming from the leak of a CIA agent's identity. ...

[S]pecial counsel Patrick Fitzgerald said of the notes: "We can't read a substantial part of them."

Libby's handwriting "has a little bit of hieroglyphics in there, and so what we have to do is translate them so we can tell the intelligence agencies what their content is so we can figure out how sensitive it is," Fitzgerald said.

Hieroglyphics? Are we talking birds and asps, or something more sinister, like pig-Latin mash notes to Judith Miller? And how long before the meme "Shooter & Scooter" sweeps the blogosphere?