Wednesday, May 10, 2006

CIRCUMSTANCE BEYOND OUR CONTROL

The phone, TV and the News of the World: We've got the first two covered, and while the third can be accessed online, it's not as sweet as hitting the local newspaper's site and learning more about the insanity of our fellow Ozarkers.

By that standard, Wednesday's News-Leader is chockablock with nutty goodness:

•The DWI Task Force will be out at the Brown Derby Wine Center to launch a petition drive aimed at keeping anyone under 21 from darkening the doorsteps of local bars. Such a drag that we'll have to avoid all Brown Derby booze huts until this madness stops.

•Melissa Olson, a precocious teen who attends New Covenant Academy, wants abstinence forced on her public-school counterparts. Perhaps Olson would be happier living in Kansas. We hear they've got a helluva reputation for teaching science.

•What would a rainy, dreary day be without Paul Summers? The local conservative typist has a column in Wednesday's News-Leader. It is completely nonsensical and worth a laugh or two.

Descended like flies, you betcha.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

This guy is a real whack-job. Who published this piece? How could you get to the end of that letter and come to the conclusion that "it would be a good idea to publish this in the paper". "You know Don, I think we're down on our indeciferable bullshit for tommorows paper, lets put this in."

Anonymous said...

Summers' pic cracks me up. Who is he looking at?

A.McSholty said...

Ah, but folks we're in the Ozarks. We Ozarkians and Southern folk aren't ashamed of our crazy people, we put 'em out on display.

busplunge said...

Maybe he's looking at naked men???
Usually he is on a gay bashing crusade.

Couple of years ago I was at a forum and, in a reply to a question about Social Security benefits, I said I thought it was un American to discrimate against anybody.

The next day he had a letter in the newsleader saying I had a hidden gay agenda.

god bless america!

notafinga said...

What the hell is the Gay Agenda anyway?
To rid the world of bad fasion? To turn everyone gay? Or is it just the kids?

DocLarry said...

Oh you libruls! Don't you know, if we allow gay people to marry they'll all start producing gay babies!

John Stone said...

"What the hell is the Gay Agenda anyway?
To rid the world of bad fashion?"

It's to turn everyone into Fung Sui Masters and bad interior designers.

It to increase the sales of loudly colored boas at Mardi Gras.

It's to keep Da'Duckester Cunningham and DVJ, happy-

John Stone said...

That should be VD(J) ...

A social disease if I ever saw one ....

The Libertarian Guy said...

As if governm- er, public schools don't have enough stuff to feed our kids' brains... I'd like to see DARE removed from public ed, along with anything else that is not absolutely necessary to teach young'un's the basics and get 'em ready for the real world.