The phone, TV and the News of the World: We've got the first two covered, and while the third can be accessed online, it's not as sweet as hitting the local newspaper's site and learning more about the insanity of our fellow Ozarkers.
By that standard, Wednesday's News-Leader is chockablock with nutty goodness:
•The DWI Task Force will be out at the Brown Derby Wine Center to launch a petition drive aimed at keeping anyone under 21 from darkening the doorsteps of local bars. Such a drag that we'll have to avoid all Brown Derby booze huts until this madness stops.
•Melissa Olson, a precocious teen who attends New Covenant Academy, wants abstinence forced on her public-school counterparts. Perhaps Olson would be happier living in Kansas. We hear they've got a helluva reputation for teaching science.
•What would a rainy, dreary day be without Paul Summers? The local conservative typist has a column in Wednesday's News-Leader. It is completely nonsensical and worth a laugh or two.
Descended like flies, you betcha.