Wednesday, May 24, 2006

COP CHOMPING

Anthony Jennings, 43, is a police constable in Maroochydore, in Australia.

Maria Klaus, 38, is a biter.

This story helps explain why police dread domestic-disturbance calls. Even in Australia. The Sunshine Coast Daily reports:
Jennings and Constable Leonie Scott were called to Ms Klaus' unit in Beach Parade at 5:30pm on June 12.

The pair testified that Kevin Hughes was waiting at the door of the unit and had invited them in to speak "to her".

Const Jennings said the 38-year-old Klaus appeared, wet and wrapped in a towel, and started yelling ...

Const Jennings said the first assault ensued when he placed his hand on Ms Klaus' left arm and told her he was detaining her under the Domestic and Family Violence Act.

He said he had trouble gripping Ms Klaus because she was naked and wet and the pair ended up on the ground.

"It was a flurry of head-butts, bites, kneeing me and punching," he said.

"There was ... gnashing of teeth. As her face was coming towards me she was snapping her teeth, chomping.

"I actually felt her nose go into my mouth. When I was on the ground I felt my face, it was covered in saliva and there was blood."

Const Jennings said he had to break his tie to release Ms Klaus' grip, whereupon she kicked him in the chest and shoulder with her feet.

"She was yelling at me that she was going to get my balls," he said. "Even though she was small ... she was quite muscular and powerful."

Back-up arrived after the pair eventually got handcuffs on Ms Klaus to help escort her downstairs to a van.

Const Jennings said his attention was only diverted for a few seconds when he felt "a sudden crushing pain".

"I felt an excruciating pain at the end of my penis ... I looked down and her head was over the top of my groin and she was biting me,"
he said.

"I was in a lot of pain, shock and I screamed."
The Courier-Mail has mugshots of the officer and the chomper. She looks the part.

7 comments:

kornzakrackin said...

Here we go again ... our blogmeister clutters our lives -- and debases the many valuable entries he presents on this blog -- with another clipping whose only interest is that it involves somebody's groin. Yuk, yuk.

What does Mr. Davis do every morning ... get up, Google the words "penis" and "groin" ... and copy any stories he can find? When will he figure out that nobody needs this stuff?

Let's get back to discussing Harpool/Norma, the OTC Board or the proposed Southwest 2 plant, shall we?

-- Korny, Chief Prude in Residence

Ron Davis said...

Korny:

There is no penis chomping in the Harpool-Champion race.

None of the OTC prez candidates has been linked to a penis chomping.

The proposed coal-fired plant for Springfield does not have a penis.

You're welcome.

Anonymous said...

How many times do I have to say it? Some of us like a diversion, an interesting aside, something silly to add to our day that doesn't involve power plants and politics. I read the posts that detail the more important issues but skipped straight to this one. Geez, lighten up! And keep those penis biting stories coming, Red!

P.S. Did you hear the one about the nude model who was bitten on the penis by a tic while posing? It's a true story. Happened right here in the Ozarks. Well, it might have happened.

kornzakrackin said...

I get your point, Anonymous ... I really do.

Believe it or not, my concern is for our esteemed host at this blog .... if you watched Street Talk, you can sense his desire to be taken seriously as a mover/shaker in southwest Missouri's discourse ..... and he deserves to be, judged on the good content he so often puts out there .... but -- Alas! -- the movers/shakers view him primarily as a guy who runs a blog chockful (!) of stories on penis-chomping.

I'd like to see this blog and its proprietor get the attention they deservs ... but that's never gonna happen as long as he lets his inner 12-year-old run riot here.

Anonymous said...

I second Korny's point. I'm hardly a prude, but if it's dick jokes and news of the sexually weird that I want, there's no shortage of other sources. The blogmeister has demonstrated formidable talents for expressing serious thoughts, but it becomes difficult to take him seriously when they're laced as often as they are with salivating dispatches about--for example--the latest "hot teacher" (females only, of course) caught for schtupping a student.

C'mon, Ron. Grow up.

Anonymous said...

Once this blog - or Red - goes straight, "grows up," I'm outta here. Since when did Ron declare this site strictly political or one that expressly deals in shaping public policy? The name of this site is same as an electic print column formerly penned by Mr. Davis. "Chatter: Since 1991, your daily source of this, that, the other thing." A penis might be "the other thing" on any given day.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you guys are just jealous because no women are putting your penii in their mouths...