HOLY CHANGES

CHATTER's chief typist is a Catholic convert, since lapsed but still in possession of Mass memorization. You know -- "peace be with you / and also with you" stuff. Mea culpa to the offended ones.

But now the bishops have gone and mucked it all up. Meeting last week in Los Angeles, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops approved a new English translation of the Mass.

Check out the changes:

- Whenever the priest says "The Lord be with you," the people will respond "And with your spirit." The current response is "And also with you."

- In the first form of the penitential rite, the people will confess that "I have sinned greatly... through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault." In the current version, that part of the prayer is much shorter: "I have sinned through my own fault."

- The “Nicene Creed” will begin "I believe" instead of "We believe" – a translation of the Latin text instead of the original Greek text.

During the offertory prayers, the priest will pray that "the sacrifice which is mine and yours will be acceptable" instead of the current prayer that "our sacrifice will be acceptable."

Before the preface, when the priest says "Let us give thanks to the Lord our God," instead of saying "It is right to give him thanks and praise," the people will respond "It is right and just."

- The “Sanctus” will start "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God of hosts." The current version says "Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might."

Crib sheets for Mass? Entirely possible.