Thursday, June 25, 2009

ELVIS PRESLEY, PART II

Michael Jackson's death has the cable pundits speculating on parallels between the King of Pop and the Queen of Pulp, Anna Nicole Smith. Both so sad, the talking heads say. Both so alike.

Gah. Let the heads blather with their short-term memory. Jackson's death is simply Elvis Presley, Part Two. We have a Memphis newspaper from Aug. 17, 1977, the morning after Presley literally left the building. The early word then was that Presley died of a heart attack. Heart just stopped. Nothing to see here, so take care of your own business and move along.

Hindsight gives us the real story -- Presley keeling off the toilet, colon clogged from too many years relying on a bad diet of fatty foods and tasty prescription pills. "Cardiac arrest" was only the technical cause of death, and there was nothing natural about why Presley's heart stopped after a brief 42 years.

Michael Jackson died Thursday of cardiac arrest at 50. Another ticker technicality. In recent years, Jackson admitted under oath that he'd replaced Bubbles the Chimp with a new monkey, this one biting into the back of his neck thanks to doctors willing to write 'scripts to a musical genius. No useless filler, like those pesky street bags of smack. Only the best legal high for pop-culture royalty.

Friends say Jackson was clean and working hard, preparing for his ironically named "This Is It" concert tour. The tox reports may show nothing acute. The damage was chronic.

The thirty and fortysomethings are freaked out tonight, just like our older siblings and parents were when Elvis died. And like Godfather II, EP2 is better than the original. Elvis could sing and swivel, but he couldn't write a decent song. MJ walked around with "Beat It" and "Billie Jean" percolating in his head. He was the most magnificent entertainer in the last half of the last century, and maybe that's why he was such a freak. Great genius, great madness. A thinner line than the one separating love and hate.

Elvis Part II is a story so massive, MTV broke format on Thursday and started playing Michael Jackson videos. Imagine -- videos on MTV. If that's what it takes, get Madonna on an experimental plane, stat.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, Chatter.
Who scooped this obit?

Anonymous said...

generalissmo francisco franco is still dead.

Anonymous said...

It's going to be hard to top "packed with a white, chalk-like fecal material that scissors could not penetrate," but I'm sure Jackson's autopsy will make for some interesting reading nonetheless.

American Patriot said...

Who cares about Michael Jackson? My God, Rome is burning and all we can talk about is the death of a washed-up accused child molester.

Cap and Trade, a.k.a Cap and Rape is about to send your utility bill through the roof. Not to mention government mandated health care, and if you think I'm wrong about the "mandated" part, just ask Sen Chris Dodd. That's right. You don't take health care, we'll fine you through your income taxes. Yep. Chris Dodd and Teddy "the tumor" Kennedy submitted this amendment.

People, wake the $%&@ up before it's too late. Wait a minute, what am I thinking? Its' people like you that want this shit. Never mind. Go back to the Neverland Ranch, Jesus Juice and moon-walking. If guys like Jackson keeps Liberals looking the other way, maybe Conservatives can save this nation from where you want it to go.

Maybe. OK, now tell me how I need to get out more often. Call me ASSPAT, call me what you want, but chances are not a single one of you worthless SOB's will address the truth.

Anonymous said...

Hey, if we're going to be doomed, we might as well do some last-minute worshipping of Michael Jackson while we're at it...

...though there were and are OTHER talented musicians worthy of more praise.

mitman said...

Hey, asspat...the simple truth here is that M.J. is dead. You took off on a bit of a tangent here, dude.

Anonymous said...

ASSPAT, sit down. Catch your breath.

Jesus Juice? Go ahead, I just opened it.

Cheers.

-- Bette Noire

Anonymous said...

according to petey king, wacko jacko was a "pervert...molester...pedophile...". geez, i didn't know wacko jacko was a republican. oops! oh, yeah. ronald (6) wilson (6) reagan (6) palled around with wacko jacko. how quickly they forget.

while on the subject of republicanism, wacko jacko took advantage of our high priced, private health care system, yet still wound up taking a dirt nap at 50. looks like we'd (and wj as well) would be better off with that commie, socialize, euro-canook health care system than the privatized health care that killed the king of pop.

Anonymous said...

free oj.

Anonymous said...

and pass the geezus juice.

American Patriot said...

Amen, pass the "Jesus Juice" and toast the demise of Walter "That's the Way it Is" Cronkite. At 92 he's one less Liberal that needs health care.

Oh no, Walter's loved ones will have to pay the Estate Tax, aka "The Death Tax" but I'm sure they won't mind. After all, there's not a liberal drawing air that thinks they're paying too much in taxes.

Isn't funny. Liberals would rather pay that pray.

Bye bye Walter. There are so many other libs that deserve to join you. Tick...tick...tick...boom!

Anonymous said...

and defib dick still sux air.

kansasmediocrity said...

Why be anonymous here?
Is this TROLL CENTRAL?

American Patriot said...

Hey, two more days and it'll be a month since the last post. I'd say the Blogaroni Award will go to some other deserving liberal wing nut.

Anonymous said...

Good writing, Red. Haven't been over in awhile ...

See you've still got a freak for a follower/stalker. Still excellent writing and perspective. :)

American Patriot said...

43 days since the last post. Freak? Stalker? No, just another member of the angry mob.

Anonymous said...

As the person who first called him Asspat, I am glad to see he is still proving himself worthy of the name. All it takes is a fresh posting about anything really. Sit back and watch the nutball be a nutball.

Captain said...

My comment is in response to the original blog here.

If Jackson "was the most magnificent entertainer in the last half of the last century," wouldn't Elvis' death be titled "MJ part 1"? Hal Wallis said, "A Presley picture is the only sure thing in Hollywood." You think Wallis would only say that about the "most magnificent entertainer in the last half of the last century." But then, he would have had to have been talking about "The Wiz" because Ron Davis' "most magnificent entertainer in the last half of the last century" only made one movie. And it lost 10.4 million dollars. Magnificent.

Anonymous said...

Ron:

You need to weed out the list of blogs on the right side of your page. Some of them are defunct and don't even work anymore.

Then again, Chatter hasn't been updated since June 25th. It's now August 11th.

Anonymous said...

Will the Kennedy burial be a...

...wait for it...


...a "shovel-ready" project?

Snicker.

American Patriot said...

Yes, we've finally seen our first shovel-ready job from the mighty, economy-saving Stimulus package.

67 days since the last posting on Chatterless. Shall we track the days like Cronkite did with the American hostages in Iran?

Dawood Mamedoff said...

The quote of John Lennon: "Before Elvis, there was nothing." says it all about that great artist of all times. Here I've tried to collect all notable tributes paid to Elvis Presley by peers:

http://www.tributespaid.com/category/e/elvis-presley