A New Hampshire man needs new friends.
Emergency workers discovered that rough truth this week when they helped free the man from a padlock cinched around his testicles.
The man, 39, called police and said he had been drinking quite heavily, a couple weeks before. The man said a friend of his -- as a joke, ha-ha -- locked the padlock around his testicles and fled.
Said police Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Portsmouth Herald: "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this."
The victim told cops he had tried to cut away the padlock with a hacksaw. Police took him to the hospital, where a locksmith did his dirty deed and freed the captive testes.
No lasting physical injuries to the man and his testicles, according to cops.