Harold and Cherie Jones are still married, according to the license. But the Fort Smith, Ark., couple haven't been getting along. She says he has a girlfriend. She also says Harold showed up over the weekend, drank all the beer she had in the house, pestered her for sex and by Sunday suppertime was passed out, drunk and naked, on her bed.
What's a girl to do? Unknown. What Cherie Jones did was pick up some pruning shears and aim them at Harold's genitals.
So say the cops, who point to a confession Cherie allegedly made. "He was lying on the bed and I cut him," she told patrolman Vincent Clamser.
To her credit, Cherie asked Harold if he wanted her to summon an ambulance. He got the hell out the door and drove to his own apartment, where his girlfriend called for help.
If only Cherie had better pruning abilities.