Tuesday, November 01, 2005

HOW TO GROW OLD IN ONE EASY LESSON

Stop listening to new music.

Easy, innit? Just turn a deaf ear to fresh songs, challenging artists, and before you know it you're ready for death -- or, even worse, the living hell of being old.

You know the type. They say they're listening to new music, but when you reach for the CD you find out it's the new Rod Stewart -- or maybe it's worse, the latest collection of tracks from Michael Bolton -- and you have to restrain the urge to set fire to their tune collection and break every radio in their house so they can't listen to the adult-contemporary station.

We have friends (a surprise, sure, but not the point) who are afraid to listen to Gorillaz, scared to put on some Fall Out Boy, terrified to try Akon or T-Pain. To which we ask: what the hell is wrong with you, anyway? When did you get so old?

Oldies are not always goodies. Starland Vocal Band and Air Supply prove the past is full of drivel. Going back there only increases your chances of being hit in the head by something truly terrible, like "Rocky" by Austin Roberts.

Our blog bud Le Marmot has written about her own lust for music and the impact it has on life:
I've never understood how one could get bogged down in one type of music. From the time I was old enough to strap on my Dad's gargantuan headphones and listen to his worn reel to reel tapes, everything from the Carpenter's to the Beatles, I've been an audiophile. It never mattered to me what genre I was listening to, as long as the music was good. Perhaps I'm schizoid, but I prefer to think of it as being a Renaissance music lover.
Or, as Albert Einstein said, "I live my daydreams in music." So go, scoop up some iTunes, expand your head. Daydream.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ron, you aren't dissing Woody are you? It would be interesting to know how many bucks he made in royalties off that fluffy little song.

rj said...

that was the first thing i thought when i saw that, too: nice shot at woody. :-)

thom said...

bleep.com is one of my favorite sites, it has some mind bendingly great music and sells you non-drm'd mp3's.
Spend some time listening and you will find all sorts of things you've never heard before.