HEIFER LOVER SENTENCED TO PROBATION

Harold G. Hart of Neillsville, Wis., may be 63, but he still likes his sex. So much, in fact, that when he found himself without female companionship this year, he turned to cows for sexual gratification.

OK, they were calves.

Hart was caught because he was greedy. He'd been to the barn "at least 50 times," according to police. The farm's owners reasonably installed a motion detector. When Hart tripped the alarm and was caught last January 22. He said he was there to use the bathroom.

Late last week, Hart got two years probation -- and was ordered to have a little psychological counseling -- after pleading no contest to charges of disorderly conduct and sex with an animal.

In some circles he is already infamous. Pet Abuse.com has a profile of Hart. It includes this fascinating tidbit:

Hart allegedly told police that he routinely stopped at a Greenwood farm, usually after bar closing or on trips to strip clubs near Marshfield or Neillsville.

Wonder how those strippers feel?