Tuesday, January 03, 2006

THE TUESDAY THAT'S REALLY A MONDAY

Feeling weird? Yeah yeah, same thing here. The calendar says Tuesday but the vibe is decidedly Monday. That's what happens when the holiday falls on a Sunday (unless you're talking Easter, a completely different oddball holiday involving a crucified messiah, baby chicks and colored eggs).

she's always out making pictures / she's always out making scenes / she's always out the window / when it comes to making dreams. All mixed up, indeed. Just ask Jack Abramoff, the lobbyist who fell to Earth today. He conspired. He defrauded. He evaded taxes. He admitted his guilt and agreed to make restitution of up to $25 million, but he won't be sentenced until he's finished squealing on several politicians. The biggest alleged crooks are Republicans because Abramoff is a Republican who liked to grease his fellow travelers.

Will Rep. Roy Blunt get caught in Abramoff's ooze? Probably not. Give Blunt credit for his ability to put daylight between himself and any potential liability; he cut Tom DeLay's professional throat and took his power, all the while making soothing throat noises about DeLay being a tremendous man. A smooth pol like that isn't gonna be tripped up by a lobbyist.

Must get away from the television. Insanity reigns. How many television viewers clamored for the return of Connie Chung? What queer little group decided that pairing Chung with her husband, Maury Povich, would be a good idea? And who gave the thumbs-up to promos that spoof campaign commercials? We must find those people and beat them into a senseless daze. Then we will be even.

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