Friday, June 30, 2006

LIGHTBULB REMOVED FROM WHERE THE SUN NEVER SHINES

Happy Friday! Reuters has this oddball report:
Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.
Not the weirdest thing ever discovered up there.

7 comments:

John Stone said...

The hospital lab where I worked as a kid had quite a collection of .... foreign objects. They actually had a 100 watt bulb -- intact. I asked the pathologist if he couldn't put it in his desk lamp and see if it still worked.

Only one until now I have ever heard of.

And who says that proctologist don't have surgical and manipulative skills.

Anonymous said...

It just goes to show you, you can take the mountin' out of Mohammed, but...

notafinga said...

What the hell is that supossed to mean?
Vague ethnic slurs are funny, I guess?

Anonymous said...

Maybe that was the light at the end of the tunnel.
Desdinova the Eternal Light.

The Libertarian Guy said...

Looks like someone's jumped the sheikh...

Hey, if we're on about "vague ethnic slurs", just call me a cracker and I'll not get the least bit upset.

John Stone said...

Of course the best way to remove it is to buy the product at
http://buttcandle.com/procedure.html

These are, of course, closely related to earcandles http://www.earcandlesbylouise.co.nz/ in case you ever get a hard boiled egg stuck in your ear canal.

It is not suggested that in case of an emergency that they be turned pointy-end up and used as a replacement for dinner candles as a conversation piece with your dinner date with Claudia Schiffer.

The Newtster said...

Was the light bulb pre 1991?