Tuesday, October 07, 2008


A little less than a month before the presidential election and the result is already becoming clear -- Barack Obama is going to win. The latest polls show him hovering at or above the 50-percent mark, ahead of John McCain by a half-dozen points and winning the perception game. Many McCain supporters expect Obama to triumph, even though the feeling is acid to their intestines. Lost faith, abandoned hope.

Only a cataclysm -- the proverbial dead girl or live boy -- can keep Obama from winning on Nov. 4. He'll be nicked and bloodied plenty before the votes are cast, but McCain cannot stop him. Neither can Sarah Palin, no matter how loud her bark. Devoid of discussion about their plans for our future, the GOP ticket has been reduced to incessant yapping about the badness of their opponents. They are Bob Dole without the humor, Walter Mondale without the eloquence. All they can do is smile and bray and pretend the hurricane hammering the screen door is only a drizzle.

Pretending -- or, as they like to call it, creating a new reality, a master trick of this century's Republican Party. As one of President Bush's senior advisers said in 2002:
"[W]e create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors ... and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do."
People attached to that "senior adviser" (read: Karl Rove) are now in John McCain's campaign posse; their greasy thumbprints are all over the place, instantly recognizable to the naked political eye.

They're rolling out the dogeared book of dirty tricks and pulling out their favorite reality changers. The biggest crowd-pleaser, naturally, involves demonizing The Media. Rolling Stone publishes a solid on McCain's unflattering past, but most conservatives won't bother to read it -- they're convinced the mainstream media is out to get their guy and his purty sidekick, dadgummit, so you can't believe anything The Media says.

This, of course, is a reliable hypocrisy from the camp that loves to hate. In their twist on twisted reality, The New York Times is a vile snakepit of liberal Obamabot liars, except when they write about Obama's connections to '60s radical William Ayers. That's when the Times is gospel money.

(One of our favorite conservative alternate-reality pranks is the "you won't see this in the mainstream media" snipe hunt. About once a month somebody will send an e-mail with a story or pictures about a heartwarming, positive story, datelined Iraq, with the header: You Won't See THIS In The Mainstream Media. The story, without fail, was written by The Associated Press and published across the country.)

The neo-reals have also uncorked the "some say" genie, a cousin to "fair and balanced." The latter claims "both sides" need to be heard, even if one side insists science is valid and the other clings to supernatural magic. Thank God the people who spew this line weren't reporting in 1945; they would have asked the Nazis for their side of the Holocaust -- you know, just to be fair and balanced.

Their "some say" attacks are clumsy but effective. "Some say Barack Obama is a Muslim." "Some say Obama is a sleeper agent for Al Qaeda." "Some say Obama is actually Osama bin Laden's second cousin, once removed." It might be bilge water, sure, but some say it's true, so why not have that debate? We don't expect McCain to go that far in his Tuesday debate with Obama, but anything is possible when a certifiably insane man runs for president. There could even be knives, though we suspect the debate commission will probably run both candidates through metal detectors before they take the stage.

McCain has no choice but to throw the long, noxious pass -- think of it as a Hail Mary stinkbomb. If it lands just right it will cover Obama in muck so deep and vile that every other Chicago politician will seem spotless by comparison. And even that might not be enough to stop Obama.

This is John McCain, distilled. Half a lifetime spent gladhanding and grinning, plotting and attaining, now reduced to one last gambit that probably won't work. Purgatory can be peculiar, especially in an unreal reality.


Anonymous said...

As a Navy veteran who has rooted and voted for McCain in the past, I find it difficult to support him now. He was the target of this kind of shit in 2000, but today leads his team in the same type of attacks that bloodied him so badly then. In New Mexico Monday, McCain tells his supporters "All Americans
want to know is who is Barak Obama" then McCain goes into how bad of an American Obama is. I'm sorry John, but Americans want to know what the hell you or Sarah, or Joe or Barak are going to do to get us out of this real reality. That said, don't count McCain out quite yet. There are still plenty of those voters who will never vote for a black man. There are plenty of those voters out there who will never vote for a pro choice ticket. There are plenty of GOP voters out there who hate McCain but will never switch for any Democrat even if Jesus himself was running as a Dem..There are plenty of voters out there who will, once again, vote against their own self interest.

Holy Grail Press said...

Hey, I'm trying to get the Holy Grail Press up and running again. The site's being really funky. I acutally have two blogs, and it lets me access both of their dashboards from either place, but all posts go to Ozarks' English. So I will probably have to do a work around. But, hey, I'm back.

Chain Gang BBQ said...

I thought Obama was Jesus. After all, they were both "Community Organizers" although I doubt Christ would've worked with ACORN to lie and cheat to get "voters" registered.

Since when is telling the truth about Obama like "a Hail Mary stink bomb." Why can't someone use Obama's middle name? Why can't we question Obama's "friendly" association with William Ayres? Why can't we raise Obama's dealings with Tony Rezko? This NOT going negative. Period.

If Republicans tried to present to the American people a pre-packaged candidate like Obama, the mainstream media would vet them like no other. He or she would've been ripped to shreds. And if you think I'm just another conservative with the mainstream press as a chip on my shoulder, when was the last time Chris Matthews got a "tingly feeling in my legs" when a Republican spoke?

You reference to McCain as a "certifiably insane man" is sheer stupidity, but that's Ron Davis for you. Talk about a stink bomb.

And Anon 7:03, you summed up the mind set of the liberal voter when you said "There are plenty of voters out there who will, once again, vote against THEIR OWN SELF INTEREST." Bingo, what will I get if I vote for Barry Obama? Will I get my fair share of the rich guy's money? Will Barry send me a check when I don't even pay taxes? How about voting the best way to help your country, not your own sorry ass.

Anonymous said...

If you think this election is over four weeks from Election Day, you are sorely mistaken and purposefully delusional. To cite national popular-vote polls fails on the most basic point that the popular vote does not decide elections. Finally, flailing against ad hominem attacks by launching one of your own ("certifiably insane") is, well, somehow perfectly American.
The very best thing you or any of your readers can do is vote. (Unless you live in California, New York, Arizona, Texas or any other state dependably in one column or t'other, in which case Freakanomics and the Electoral College mean you don't matter.)
But by all means, rant away.

Anonymous said...

So AMPAT, you find fault with only 1 of the 4 reasons
anon703 made as to not counting McCain out. I guess that because he's not 100% in lock step with you. And weren't you the one to suggest anger management to another anon the other day?

Anonymous said...

Anon 703 here. The comment about voting against self interest sums up MY mindset about Constitutional issues and the current (2 term)
administration. There are plenty of conservatives and Libertarians around who feel the same way. YOUR mindset, American Patriot, seems to be on money issues. You also should not ASSume that everyone but you posting on and reading this forum is a "liberal".

Anonymous said...

Agents of the Devil daileys archies step child and codys all bars

Anonymous said...

Weird post aside, I find it facinating that you hit the shift button for the Devil, but chose not to capitilize the names of the bars. You are an interesting... person? C'mon, is this a class project at BBC?

Anonymous said...

If we're talking about associations then how about the Alaska Independent party. Palin's Husband was a member. That organization wanted to succeed from the Union and it's founder spews hate for the American Govt. and the American Flag...How about Palin's strange witch doctor...OOoo eee Ooo aah aah...here comes the witch doctor...what about the fact that the 2nd biggest donor to the McCain campaign has a wife who also sat on that board with Obama and Aires. It's all a bit ridiculous

Chain Gang BBQ said...

All that matters is Barackmadinejad isn't worthy of being President of the United States. He has ZERO experience, even with his legal defense of ACORN.

With Pelosi, Reid, and Barackmadinejad, the USA as we know it, is over. I can't believe how people can be so stupid and look at this guy as "change." To me, Barackmadinejad is simply "Same Shit. Different Guy."
Higher taxes, fewer rights, fewer freedoms and income redistribution.

Anonymous said...

Higher taxes...fewer rights, fewer freedoms...same old sh...Sounds like the last 8 years.

Anonymous said...

"They are Bob Dole without the humor, Walter Mondale without the eloquence."

I prefer "Bush v. Dukakis, Part II: Electric Boogaloo". (That is, if you're comparing McCranky and O'bama...)

What I wouldn't give for an exact tie between these two goons.

Anonymous said...

BTW, anon 3:44... you nailed it, but a bit premature. It'll take a while for the real shit to hit the fan after Coronation Day - no matter which one of them wins.

Chain Gang BBQ said...

Anon 3:44, give me a break. You loons on the left love to sit back, blame Bush and act as if there were no Democrats in Washington. Get your head out of the Obama talking points.

Bush is far from perfect, but I'd rather have him than the two liberals you've got running. Obama will spend a hell of a lot more than Bush ever thought of spending. Government will increase in size, income redistribution will thrive and we'll have a Congress without any checks and balances.

Barackmadineajad does not have the experience to f**k-up an umbrella let alone run the greatest country on the face of the earth. He'll ruin it.