Friday, January 20, 2006


Last weekend's shoot-'em-up resulted in nine wounded humans and one elusive suspect. Curtis B. Sharp may not be the greatest of shots, but he sure knows how to keep clear of the Po-Po.

For the past three days, the spokesman for the Springfield Police Department -- Officer Matt Brown -- has issued updates on the search for Sharp. CHATTER presents them to you in their entirety:
Jan. 18:
Detectives and Officers continue to look for Sharp, however no new leads or information have come in that provide us a clear direction to his whereabouts. If any new information comes in anytime today, I'll let you know.

Jan. 19:
Detectives continue to look for Sharp - currently there are no new leads and no information as to his whereabouts. No information came in last night or this morning that would assist the SPD with our investigation.

Jan. 20:
The SPD has received no information as to Sharp's whereabouts, detectives continue the investigation.
Danger, Will Robinson! An alarming word-count drop on Friday's update, from the mid-30s to a terse 14 words. Is Matt Brown suffering from writer's block?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was at least expecting a what it do joke! :)