Besides, we missed a lot of stuff. So it's off to the bullets, Batman:
•Santa Claus was captured in Los Angeles over the weekend, pulled over for driving drunk. Some sort of Claus, at least. As the Los Angeles Times notes:
The driver -- 6-foot-4 and 280 pounds -- was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving, in this case a misdemeanor, police said. In addition to a red Santa hat, he wore a blond wig, red lace camisole, purple G-string, black leg warmers and black shoes.
"We are pretty sure this is not the Santa Claus," Deputy Chief Ken Garner said.
•Jamie Lynn Spears turns up pregnant and says her boyfriend is the father. But he (18) had apparently kicked Spears (16) to the curb, and now rumors are flying that the boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, isn't good for the deed. The reputed real dad? An older exec on Spears' show, Zoey 101. As Show Biz Spy notes:
“Jamie Lynn has been working on Zoey since she was 13,” one of the sources said. “In Hollywood, little girls grow up fast, and she is no exception.
“With everything that has gone on in her family, she needed someone to look up to.
“But the man she found seems to have completely taken advantage of her.”
Another family source added: “Some of us have doubts as to the legitimacy of the claim that Casey is the father."
•Canada's prime minister, Stephen Harper, knows his world leaders. According to Reuters, Harper took the time to inform journalists that the Dalai Lama is not a hooker:
"I met the Dalai Lama in my office but I meet everyone in my office. I don't know why I would sneak off to a hotel room just to meet the Dalai Lama. You know, he's not a call girl," Harper told OMNI television.