LOVE IS COLD

In a nutshell: These guys wanted to meet this girl. Thought she was cute. So they went to her grave is Wisconsin and tried to dig her up.

What they did -- what they wanted to do -- isn't a crime.

According to The Associated Press:

A judge was correct to dismiss the charges against twin brothers Nicholas and Alexander Grunke and Dustin Radke, all 21, because lawmakers never intended to criminalize sex with a corpse, the District 4 Court of Appeals said in a 3-0 ruling.

The three men went to a cemetery in Cassville in southwestern Wisconsin on Sept. 2 to remove the body of Laura Tennessen, 20, who had been killed the week before in a motorcycle crash.

The men used shovels to reach her grave. They abandoned their plan and were eventually arrested after a vehicle drove into the cemetery and reported suspicious behavior, authorities said.

They said the men had seen an obituary of Tennessen with her photo and wanted to dig up her body to have sexual intercourse. Such an act is known as necrophilia.

The men were charged with attempted third-degree sexual assault and misdemeanor attempted theft charges. But Grant County Circuit Judge George Curry dismissed the sexual assault charges in September, saying no Wisconsin law addressed necrophilia. Prosecutors appealed his ruling.

And lost, meaning Wisconsin legislators will soon pass a law outlawing sex with a corpse. Probably a good idea.

On the way to rob the grave, the three men stopped at a Wal-Mart to buy condoms. Make of this what you will.

PARENTS OF TRAGIC KIDS NOW DATING

John Ramsey and Beth Holloway Twitty are dating.

The 63-year-old father of JonBenet Ramsey and the 46-year-old mother of Natalee Holloway (she went missing in Aruba in 2005) are now an item. Fox News says Ramsey and Twitty have been together for five months:

The couple has been spotted openly holding hands and kissing in Mountain Brook, Ala. — where Twitty lives — and at an art show at a nearby art museum. They've also been seen at various restaurants.

Ramsey on Monday denied the reports that they are dating. He said that he and Twitty have a special friendship based on tragedy.

Ramsey's wife and JonBenet's mother, Patsy Ramsey, died last June of ovarian cancer at the age of 49. Twitty was officially divorced from George "Jug" Twitty in December.

Talk about having too much in common.

MEMORIZE THIS PERSON'S FACE

And if you see it coming your way, run.

Clicking on this link will take you to a story in the East Valley Tribune, a metro Phoenix newspaper. The tale involves Tiffany Sutton, 23, and her alleged bedroom preferences; a man says he agreed to a little bondage, but Sutton wanted more. Much more.

From the story:

The man told police he had consented to being tied up but became scared when the woman attacked him with a knife. He eventually freed himself and ran away, but Sutton chased him with a pickax, police said.

The man was taken in an ambulance to a local hospital, where he was treated for injuries.

Police were unsure if the pair were friends, but Sgt. Mike Horn said the man and woman were not in a relationship.

Both admitted to authorities that they had consumed alcohol and drugs prior to the attack, Horn said.

Sutton reportedly told the man that she liked to drink blood. He should have known this before he agreed to be tied up.

THE ULTIMATE FLIGHT RISK

NASA astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak is now charged with attempted murder; she allegedly tried to bump off Colleen Shipman, who was reportedly too close (for Nowak's comfort) to space shuttle pilot Bill Oefelein.

Nowak was the first Italian-American to go into space. From her official biography:

Lisa enjoys bicycling, running, skeet, sailing, gourmet cooking, rubber stamps, crossword puzzles, piano, and African violets. As an undergraduate she competed on the track team. Her parents, Alfredo and Jane Caputo, reside in Rockville, Maryland.

Godspeed, Lisa Marie Nowak.

THAT WENT WELL

Conor Hammes met his girlfriend's parents. Later, cops say, he beat up his girlfriend's father. The Journal Times in Racine reports:

Hammes came to the area to meet his girlfriend’s parents, who live in the Town of Buchanan. They all went out for dinner, after which Hammes began acting strangely, and his girlfriend’s parents told him he should go home. His girlfriend and her mother went inside to get their things, and when they came back out they found Hammes and the father yelling. The mother asked Hammes to leave, and he swore at her. When Hammes’ girlfriend tried to step between her boyfriend and father, Hammes grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the ground.

The mother then went inside to call 911, but looked back and saw Hammes stomping and kicking her husband’s head and face. She tried to intercede and Hammes knocked her down and pulled on her hair, pulling some of it out. Hammes’ girlfriend said he became upset when her father told him he could not stay at their residence. She said she thought Hammes was going to kill her father.

When Sheriff’s Department officers arrived at the home, they found two women tending a man lying on the ground. He had a large cut on the back of his head and had lost a considerable amount of blood. He was somewhat alert, but did not respond to all of an officer’s questions. An ambulance was called to take him to the hospital. The Fire Department was called to clean up the man’s blood from the road.

Cops say Hammes also grabbed his girlfriend by the hair and threw her to the ground, before complaining that he'd hurt his hand while punching out her father.

Hammes used to be a sports star. Acording to the Journal Times, Hammes "earned an athletic appointment to play baseball for the Air Force Academy. More recently, he was an extra in 'Mr. 3000,' the baseball movie filmed at Miller Park in 2003." Now he faces five years in prison.