SPORTS FROM BROTHER BOB

Older Brother Robert (not to be confused with Younger Brother Richard) has decided at the ripe, round age of 50 to start the blogging thing.

Check him out at Let's Talk Sports, a blog about -- you guessed it -- sports. You'll also find a link in the CHATTERWORTHY blogroll, on the right-hand side of this page.

WORTH STRIPPING?

Marion Jones was a star and a hero. She won five medals -- including three golds -- in the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, Australia.

Turns out she cheated, and now her medals will probably be taken away. She's expected to plead guilty on Friday to lying to the feds about using performance-enhancing drugs. According to The New York Times:

Ms. Jones, 31 ... would become the first athlete convicted in the cases arising out of the four-year Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative investigation that has fueled a continuing series of steroid scandals in sports. Five men who manufactured, marketed or supplied the drugs to athletes have pleaded guilty, and three of them have served time in prison.

Ms. Jones is expected to plead guilty to one count of making false statements to federal agents about her use of performance-enhancing drugs and one count of making false statements to federal agents in connection with a separate check fraud case, the lawyers said.

She'll reportedly do three months in stir. She's also broke, according to The Times. And Barry Bonds is still walking around.

THE CLOTHES OFF HIS BUTCHERING BACK

O.J. Simpson's definition of "sports memorabilia" is a trifle twisted. He said he was pulling a sting operation to get back some of his sports-related stuff from nefarious collectors.

Best detail in The New York Times piece about Simpson's arrest:

Mr. Simpson said he had pretended to be interested in buying the suit that he wore in court in 1995 when he was acquitted of the murders of his former wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman.

A man needs his lucky suit, dammit.

TOUR OF MISSOURI HITS SPRINGFIELD

It's supposed to be a big deal. Stage Two of the first-ever statewide bicycle race blows through Springfield on Wednesday afternoon. Live coverage everywhere, bleachers and hay bales in center city -- and the delicious Taylor's hamburg joint right there. Sweet.

PHIL RIZZUTO, 89

Holy cow, he's not gonna make it. The former N.Y. Yankees shortshop and broadcaster died Tuesday in a New Jersey nursing home.

Best known by some for his star turn on "Paradise by the Dashboard Light," from Meat Loaf's Bat Out of Hell album.

No more praying for the end of time.

#756

Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's home-run record late Tuesday, with a fifth-inning shot off Washington's Mike Bacsik. The Associated Press has the story. Thirty-three years after his own record-setting homer, Aaron offered a taped message of congratulations.

BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY

Barry Bonds tied Hank Aaron's home-run record on Saturday, smacking a 382-foot homer in San Diego.

It's clear he's a cheater, but does that even matter anymore?

FAST MAN BEATS SLOW HORSE

Chad Johnson of the Cincinnati Bengals ran a race against a horse over the weekend. Somehow, the horse lost. Blood Horse reports:

Johnson sprinted one-sixteenth of a mile in 11.1 seconds to defeat Thoroughbred racehorse Restore the Roar on the turf at River Downs in Ohio. The photo finish showed Johnson ahead by 12 horse lengths at the wire. ...

Restore the Roar, a 4-year-old colt named after a Bengal-themed cheer, broke well at the eighth pole but took a while to get up his momentum. “I rode him hard every jump of the way, but I think he's more of a route horse,” said Patricia Cooksey, who came out of retirement to challenge Johnson. In 1993, Cooksey defeated Bengal Chris Collinsworth in a similar match race at River Downs.

Johnson did not have a small man riding on his back.

O.J. SIMPSON KICKED TO CURB

It's Tuesday's feel-good story. O.J. Simpson walks into a restaurant in Louisville during the Kentucky Derby weekend. The restaurant owner walks over to Simpson and tells him to get lost.

Jeff Ruby owns the eatery. WCPO reports:

Ruby said he found Simpson in the Churchill room of his "Jeff Ruby's Louisville" steakhouse and told Simpson, "I'm not serving you."

Ruby said he did it for the Goldman and Brown families, referring, of course, to the families of the people O.J. was accused of killing.

Simpson was found not guilty in the criminal trial, but liable in a civil trial.

After telling Simpson to leave, he said the former NFL football star was "classy" about it, rounded up his party and left.

Then, Ruby said, he went into the Churchill Room to be sure they were gone and people at other tables started standing. "They all got up and gave me a standing ovation, started applauding."

O.J. Simpson in a steakhouse filled with knives. We'd applaud, too.

JOSH HANCOCK, 29

Pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals. Died early Sunday in a car wreck. The Associated Press reports:

The Cardinals postponed their home game Sunday night against the Chicago Cubs. It was the second time in less than five years that a St. Louis pitcher died during the season. Darryl Kile was found dead in his hotel room in 2002.

Police said the 29-year-old Hancock was alone in his 2007 Ford Explorer when he struck the rear of a tow truck at 12:35 a.m. The truck was in the left lane assisting another vehicle that was involved in a prior accident, officer Pete Mutter said.

Hancock was pronounced dead at the scene. The driver of the tow truck, whose name was not released by police, was in the truck at the time of the crash but was not injured. The medical examiner's office said Sunday morning that an autopsy had been scheduled.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that the wreck happened on Highway 40, just east of Compton Avenue. Hancock lived in St. Louis in the off-season. Sniderman @ The 2 Dollar Bill gets the point.

PRO FOOTBALL TO SPRINGFIELD

The APFL -- that's the American Professional Football League -- plans a news conference on Tuesday to discuss plans to bring an expansion team to Springfield.

The indoor league, now in its fifth season, has teams in Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri and Texas, according to a league news release.

The 1:30 p.m. news conference will introduce the Wolfpack. Indoor football fans, rejoice.

THE HATRED INSIDE TIM HARDAWAY

The former NBA player decided to let his freak flag fly this week when he said, during a radio interview:

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I'm homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

Some bloggers are using Hardaway to pass through the eye of the needle -- they say they abhor Hardaway's words, but they continue to cling to their dislike of what they call the "gay-rights agenda."

(You know, the old "hate the sin, love the sinner" argument. Is it ever used to defend any other kind of bigotry? Does anyone ever say, "You know, Bob hates blacks and thinks they shouldn't exist, but even though I disagree with his hatred, I still love the old cuss"?)

Yeah yeah, here comes the response: There's a difference between being black and being gay. We're sure there are cases where people practice homosexuality without being gay; there are a few black people who try to pass as white, and a larger number of white kids who want to be perceived as black. Doesn't mean they are. Doesn't make it so.

Most gay people were born gay. To claim homosexuality is strictly a learned behavior is to ignore all evidence that homosexuality exists among animals. And if it's not all nurture, then nature plays a part. Rail against nature all you want. Refuse to "accept" it. It's a losing battle.

Many people who say they love gays but hate their behavior are focused only on sex (as if gays are simply rutting machines, capable of nothing else). They say if they don't speak out against the "gay-rights agenda," future generations are doomed to live under the rainbow flag and will be forced to wear uncomfortable leather and accept things like bestiality. Such hyperbole would be gut-busting funny, if it wasn't believed by so many otherwise intelligent people.

Check out this Free Republic thread. These are people who claim to be conservative Christians. This is the ugly mindset behind the anti-gay movement in America. Their hypocrisy is startling; their hatred is breathtaking. Do all Christian conservatives feel this way? No. But too many do.

EMASCULATED IN LEEDS, MAINE

Mike Remillard was a high-school basketball coach, until he decided to act like one. The Associated Press reports:

A high school coach who told his players at halftime to reach into their pants to "check their manhood" before returning to the basketball court was fired.

Mike Remillard was confronted after Leavitt Area High School Principal Patrick Hartnett learned that the coach told his players that the Jan. 23 game against Mount Ararat "was about who had the biggest (male genitalia) in town," Hartnett said in a statement.

"He then required his players to all stand up and put their hands down their pants and check their manhood," Hartnett said. All but one player followed the coach's instructions.

Remillard now says the tactic wasn't appropriate, and "I'm paying the price for it." And that's a shame.

BARBARO, 4

The winner of the Kentucky Derby was euthanized on Monday at the University of Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center.

Eight months ago, Barbaro was injured at the Preakness Stakes. Surgery to fuse a broken right back limb was successful, but the horse's front feet became infected with laminitis caused by uneven weight distribution.

LAMAR HUNT, 74

Another point for MIT. The owner of the Kansas City Chiefs died Wednesday night of prostate cancer, according to The Associated Press.

NBA HAS 'NEW COKE' EXPERIENCE

Only last June, the National Basketball Association proudly announced a new Official Game Ball. Made by Spaulding and promising a "better grip, feel, and consistency than the current leather ball," the new microfiber composite ball was supposed to be the Next Great Thing:

"The advancements that Spalding has made to the new game ball ensure that the best basketball players in the world will be playing with the best basketball in the world," said [NBA Commissioner David] Stern.

The NBA and Spalding subjected the ball to a rigorous evaluation process that included laboratory and on-court testing. Every NBA team received the new ball and had the opportunity to use it in practice. The ball also was tested in the NBA Development League and was used in activities during NBA All-Star 2006 in Houston. NBA retired players Steve Kerr and Mark Jackson participated in testing the new ball as well.

"Spalding’s continual efforts to advance basketball technology have yielded the optimal ball, one that is worthy of the new Official NBA Game Ball designation," said Spalding Group President and CEO Scott Creelman. "We are honored that the NBA collaborated with us to make this change."

Monday, the NBA sheepishly announced that it was ditching the new ball and going back to leather. The Associated Press reports:

Players have complained about the new ball since training camp, saying that it bounced differently than the old one -- off the floor and the rim. They also said the synthetic material cut their hands.

NBA commissioner David Stern told the New York Times last week the league should have sought more input from players before introducing the new ball.

Apparently there's plenty of good leather to go around.

NOT ALLOWED TO RACE

The Guardian offers up a curious story of a racer who happens to be a woman from Iran. Easy to sense trouble ahead from the set-up:

She was the speed queen of the racetrack who became a feminist icon after triumphing over an all-male field to become Iran's national car rally champion. But now the high-octane driving career of Laleh Seddigh has juddered to a halt, with a ban from participating at a race by the country's motor racing authorities. Seddigh, 29, was walking towards her 1600cc Peugeot 206 at Tehran's Azadi stadium when stewards blocked her way, citing "security problems".

The snub followed days of wrangling with Iran's racing federation over her right to take part in an event she won two years ago on her way to becoming national champion. In the lead-up to the race, she was told her participation was not guaranteed but was advised to register her name. Her registration was passed after technicians gave her car the all-clear. "I thought I had been given the go-ahead," she said. "I was walking towards the grid thinking, thank God this has been resolved, when they shut the door on me. They said they didn't know why, but the head of the federation said I wasn't allowed to participate."

It was the first time Seddigh, whose exploits earned her the soubriquet "the little Schumacher", had been excluded from a contest. Senior federation officials said they had been unable to obtain permission for her participation.

Repugnant. Not a reason to bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran, but still so backwards that it boggles the brain.

FRIDAY FREE RIDE

A bunch of bullets to take you into the weekend:

•Regarding our earlier post on George Brett's missing head: Said head has been located, according to the News-Leader, in a ditch near Camdenton. The news just makes its own jokes, doesn't it?

•We've been busy doing work for the Doug Harpool campaign. A 100-second video biography of the candidate can be found here at YouTube. A higher resolution version of the vid resides here.

•There's hope for the future. New Scientist reports that solar activity will srcew the GPS pooch in 2011:

A study reveals Global Positioning System receivers to be unexpectedly vulnerable to bursts of radio noise produced by solar flares, created by explosions in the Sun's atmosphere.

When solar activity peaks in 2011 and 2012, it could cause widespread disruption to aircraft navigation and emergency location systems that rely heavily on satellite navigation data.

Once it's disrupted, ditch the OnStar and head for the hills. They won't be able to track you.

GEORGE BRETT'S HEAD

Who stole George Brett's head?

The former Kansas City Royals player was inducted into the Missouri Sports Hall of Fame in 1994. A bust of the player is at the hall in Springfield. Or was.

Someone reportedly stole the head from the hall. Nothing else taken. Just the Brett head. What the hell?