DEBRA LAFAVE GOING DOWN

The Florida teacher-babe accused of having sex with a middle-school boy, was supposed to get house arrest. But a judge this week ruled that the plea bargain was too much of a bargain. He ordered trial to begin on April 10.

The Ocala Star-Banner has the winner of this week's Missing The Obvious Award -- a story that says LaFave might be getting some slack because she's a woman:

Lafave's alleged victim of sexual assault was a 14-year-old boy.

That makes a difference in the coverage, said Bob Steele, the Nelson Poynter Scholar for Journalism Values at St. Petersburg's Poynter Institute. The nonprofit institute, which owns the St. Petersburg Times, trains journalists.

"If all the details were the same . . . I doubt that we would generally see the same thing if the gender roles were reversed," Steele said.

The consequences likely would be greater for a man, said psychologist Thomas Plante, chair of the psychology department of Santa Clara University in California.

"If you switched the genders around in this case . . . we would be all over it. People would be terribly upset," he said. Instead, he added, "there's an attitude of 'boy, he got lucky.'"

Hello? Debra LaFave's physical attractiveness is the biggest key to any leniency here. Sex between LaFave and the teen boy might be viewed with much more disgust if she wasn't a babe. A babe with crazy eyes.

MMM ... BACTERIAL GROWTH

David Burton's Southwest Region News Service is, as he puts it, "a weekly educational news service for University of Missouri Extension programs in southwest Missouri." He helpfully adds that the stories "may be reprinted and reused," and so we take him up on his generous offer by alerting you to the dangers of holiday eating.

No, not from consuming too much in the stressful company of family and friends, colleagues and bosses. Tammy Roberts, a nutrition and health education specialist in Barton County, says it's always ugly when eggnog goes bad. When turkey falls to the dark side. Leave food out at room temperature for more than two hours and -- WHAM! -- bacterial growth could ruin your day. Unless your room is 350 degrees.

Sez Roberts: “One very important thing to keep in mind is that you cannot smell or taste the bacteria that causes food poisoning." She then proceeds to list the yummy ways your food could make you sick:

LEFTOVER TURKEY
The safest way to handle leftover turkey is to remove the meat from the bone and place it in shallow containers in the refrigerator.

Shallow containers allow the food to cool quickly and minimize bacterial growth.

“This same method applies to any food that may harbor bacteria. Stuffing, custard pies and cheesecake are examples. Leftovers should be refrigerated immediately and used within a few days,” said Roberts.

COOKIE DOUGH
Another risk of foodborne illness occurs when uncooked cookie dough is eaten.

“Children love to eat raw cookie dough but keep in mind that children are one of the most vulnerable populations to foodborne illness,” said Roberts.

Raw eggs can harbor salmonella, which can cause illness. It is destroyed during the cooking process.

EGGNOG
Eggnog is a tradition for many families during the holidays. Just as it does in the cookie dough, raw egg can harbor salmonella.

Pasteurized eggnog can be purchased at the grocery store as a safe alternative to the homemade version with raw eggs.

“If you love your recipe and prefer to make your own, you can cook the eggs to assure the safety of your recipe,” said Roberts.

In a heavy saucepan, stir together the eggs and either sugar, water or other liquid from the recipe (at least one-quarter cup of sugar, liquid or a combination per egg). Cook over low heat stirring constantly until the egg mixture coats a metal spoon with a thin film or reaches 160 degrees. Immediately place the pan in ice water and stir until cool and then proceed with your recipe.

Kids, do not leave raw cookie dough and room-temp eggnog for Santa, unless you mean to kill him.

CREATIVITY LINKED TO LOTSA LOVING

The artists among us apparently have more romantic success than the rest of us. Reason? They may be schizo. Reuters reports on a new British study:

In a survey of 425 British adults, researchers found that serious poets and visual artists generally had more sexual partners than those who were either not artistic or only dabbled in the arts.

Further analysis showed that one personality dimension -- a tendency toward "unusual" thoughts and perceptions -- was related to both creativity and sexual success.

That tendency is also seen in people with schizophrenia. And the findings, according to the study authors, may help explain why schizophrenia -- a mental disorder that often runs in families -- has not been extinguished from the gene pool.

Certain schizophrenia-related personality traits, they speculate, may confer benefits when they are not part of a mental illness. When they instead spur creativity, for example, they may offer a mating advantage, according to the researchers, led by Daniel Nettle, a psychologist at the University of Newcastle.

He and colleague Helen Keenoo report their findings in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society.

Many of the artsy Lotharios tended to have "unusual experiences," meaning atypical thoughts, or "magical thinking." Or it could be that people simply dig artists. This would explain how Ric Ocasek landed Paulina Porizkova.

ANN COULTER: THE FINAL DAYS

The typist and talker couldn't finish a Wednesday night speech at the University of Connecticut. The jeering was too loud, so after 15 minutes she quit giving a speech and engaged in a Q&A because, as Coulter said, "I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am."

Nothing like a home-state girl getting ripped a new one. The Associated Press shares the latest Coulter nonsense:

In her speech at UConn, Coulter called Bill Clinton an "executive buffoon" who won the presidency only because Ross Perot took 19 percent of the vote. She called California Sen. Barbara Boxer a good candidate for the Democrats because "she is a woman and she's learning disabled."

One day soon Ann Coulter will discover boos and jeers are the least of her problems.

U.S. AIMS LOW IN TEACHING SCIENCE

A report issued Wednesday by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute puts blame on the current emphasis on reading and math -- part of No Child Left Behind.

States will be required in 2007 to start testing on science. The Fordham report indicates that the U.S. isn't ready for that step. Students aren't prepared.

The New York Times reports:

The report also appears to support concerns raised by a growing number of university officials and corporate executives, who say that the failure to produce students well-prepared in science is undermining the country's production of scientists and engineers and putting the nation's economic future in jeopardy.

Dozens of academic, corporate and Congressional leaders emerged from a meeting on competitiveness here on Tuesday to warn that the nation needs to expand its talent pool in science to stay ahead of countries like China and India that put vast resources into science education.

"Many states are not yet serious about teaching science," said Michael Petrilli, vice president for national programs and policy of the institute, a group that supports education reform. "The first step is to set higher expectations, and too many states have low or a lack of expectations to respond to the new global competitiveness."

Education Secretary Margaret Spellings, a strong proponent of more testing to measure how effectively schools are teaching, said she was not surprised by the findings.

"I'm a what-gets-measured-gets-done kind of gal," she said in an interview. She cited the reluctance of many districts to teach algebra before high school as an illustration of the nation's problem with science and math, adding, "If children are not taking it until the ninth grade or ever, we are in a world of hurt."

We're also in a world of hurt if the secretary of education answers a question about science woes with an example about math. Especially when an emphasis on math is partly to blame for the paucity of science education. Then again, is it asking too much for excellence on science and math and reading and writing? Might come in handy when the next few generations have to deal with China.

By the way, in the Fordham report, Missouri scores 66 out of 100 -- a generous C.

BUSH ADMINISTRATION FLEES FROM C-WORD

Samuel Alito is a committed judicial conservative. Two reporters for Knight Ridder, the damned fine newspaper chain, came to that conclusion in an analysis piece, after poring over 311 Alito-penned opinions from the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals.

The obvious answer: Well, no duh. Is anyone surprised that the nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court is conservative?

But the Bush Administration doesn't want Alito cast in such a, um, truthful light. Knight Ridder now reports that the administration is "mounting an aggressive effort to counter" to counter the story:

Administration officials said the story unfairly cast the Supreme Court nominee as a conservative ideologue.

"His 15-year record on the 3rd Circuit shows him to be a mainstream, fair, thorough judge," Assistant Attorney General Rachel Brand said in a C-SPAN interview devoted to her critique of the Knight Ridder analysis.

Brand, whose duties include shepherding judicial nominations through the Senate, rejected the conservative label for Alito.

"The term conservative means different things to different people. A judge is supposed to apply the law, not make it," she said.

John Nowacki, senior counsel in the Justice Department's Office of Public Affairs, also objected to the Knight Ridder analysis. In an e-mail to Henderson, Nowacki criticized attempts to discern a judicial philosophy by looking for trends in a judge's record.

"This outcome-based analysis is inapplicable and unfair to judges ... A judge's work cannot be divorced from the facts of particular cases," Nowacki wrote.

Quite the shame that Knight Ridder is apparently on the sales block, and Gannett is taking a "hard look" at the chain. Good for Gannett stockholders, bad for American newspapering.

TEENS HAVE SEX IN SCHOOL; OTHER STUDENTS WATCH

What were they supposed to do -- break it up? It wasn't a fight.

The kids are from Lincoln, Neb. She's 17; he's 19. KETV says they got into a restricted hallway and got it on while "at least a dozen students watched through the gate."

From the report:

A school administrator found the couple and called a school resource officer.

"I don't want the message to families (to be that) this is happening indiscriminately all over the halls," said Becky Wild, with Lincoln Public Schools.

Wild said she remembers only one other incident like this in the last 10 years. She said LPS takes it very seriously, and administrators are asking themselves some tough questions.

"Are there some areas in our schools that are not as visible to the adults that supervise? We need to figure out how we cover those. Do we need to be talking with students about appropriate behavior?" Wild said.

Disapproving students are quoted. One said that "it probably does happen" at their school. "People just don't know about it."

Well, actually, people know all about it. That's why there are kids doing it today.

TINY STEM CELLS

Don Ho, the singer from Hawaii, is in Thailand, recovering from stem-cell therapy on his heart. The Associated Press says:

Ho, 75, known for his signature tune "Tiny Bubbles," underwent a new treatment that has not been approved in the United States. It involves multiplying stem cells taken from his blood and injecting them into his heart in hopes of strengthening the organ, according to Ed Brown, a close friend.

After the treatment, Ho's vital signs were excellent, but he remained seriously ill and was in the hospital's intensive care unit, Brown said in a telephone interview from his home in Malibu, Calif.

Ho should return from Bangkok in a couple weeks, just in time for Ho-Ho-Ho.

WE GOT YOUR AUDIT RIGHT HERE

As we mentioned last month, some local gadflies are calling for a state audit of the City of Springfield. Today the city issued its indirect response via news release:

The Springfield City Council received its 2005 Comprehensive Annual Financial Report at its weekly lunch meeting today.

The Annual Financial Report included the Independent Auditor’s Report from the Kansas City accounting firm of KPMG LLP.

KPMG Independent Auditors’ Report said the Financial Report issued an “unqualified opinion” that the financial statements fairly represent the financial position of the city. Their opinion means that the firm found no discrepancies with internal controls, no reportable conditions and no disagreements with management on the City’s financial reporting.

POW! And here comes the three-bullet backhand:

• The City’s total net assets increased more than $34.7 million to $502 million for both government-type activities and business-type activities. Examples of the City’s net assets from government-type activities include: city-owned land; construction in progress; buildings; improvements; machinery and equipment; and infrastructure. Examples of business-type activities are the Enterprise Funds such as the Springfield-Branson Regional Airport, the sewer system and the Springfield-Greene County Municipal Golf Courses.

• The City’s General Fund Balance increased by about $163,000 to $9.2 million at the end of fiscal year 2005. The City’s budget policy calls for maintaining an operating reserve of 8 percent to 10 percent of expenditures and the current General Fund balance puts the operating reserve at 10 percent.

• The City of Springfield’s commitment to its financial accountability is exemplified by the Government Finance Officers Association honoring the City with a Certificate of Achievement for Excellence in Financial Reporting for the 26th year. Auditors for KPMG said very few cities have ever received the Certificate of Achievement that many times.

The Financial Report noted that Springfield’s economy is experiencing moderate growth of 2.2 percent and the city’s economic diversification is contributing to an average unemployment rate of 4.7 percent for 2005, which is below the state average of 5.7 percent.

Possible fallback position for the pro-audit pests: Lookey, the city's got plenty of money to pay for a state audit! Sure, but the $60,000 estimated cost seems like a waste of money, 'cause we don't see any Boss Tweeds at City Hall. Or in the Busch Building.

WORLD'S FIRST SMILEY FACE DISCOVERED

Oh sure, the archaeologists say it's the earliest known Maya portrait of a woman. All we can see is the "have a happy day" head, kinda squished but still recognizable as the Smiley Face.

A news release from the University of Calgary notes:

The discovery was made earlier this year in Guatemala at the site of Naachtun, a Maya city located some 90 kilometres through dense jungle north of the more famous Maya city of Tikal. The woman's face, carved on a stone monument called a stela [STEE-la] – and in an artistic style never before seen – suggests women played significant roles in early Maya politics.

"I've worked in the Maya area a long time and I've never seen anything like it," says Dr. Kathryn Reese-Taylor, the director of the U of C-led Naachtun project. "We have images of queens, who ruled both singly and with their husbands or sons, depicted on stelae later in Maya history beginning in the early 6th century AD. But this stela is completely unique in style and likely dates to the 4th century AD."

To see a close-up of the Smiley stela, click here. A high-res version of the entire stela can be found here.

Stela!

FAT MAN WHINES ABOUT PRISON

Michael Washington, 32, let people store crack cocaine in his house. He got caught, pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 14 years in prison for the misdeed.

But he doesn't want to go to prison. He says he's too fat, according to The Associated Press:

Washington, who weighs 574 pounds, argued during sentencing that he was too obese and in too poor of health to be adequately cared for in prison, and requested home confinement. However, the court said the agency was capable of addressing his medical needs.

He should've hidden the crack in his fat folds.

RUSSIA SELLS MISSILES TO IRAN

From the International Herald Tribune:

Russia has struck a deal to provide Iran with short-range, surface-to-air missiles, Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov said Monday. He defended the deal, saying that the weapons system was purely defensive.

Russian media reported Friday that Russian and Iranian officials had signed various weapons contracts in November worth a billion dollars that would send up to 30 Tor-M1 missile systems to Iran over the next two years.

"A contract for the delivery of air defense Tor missile systems to Iran has indeed been signed," Ivanov said in comments broadcast by the state channel Rossiya, without giving further details.

Defensive, yes -- as in Iran using them to defend against Israeli or American fighters, intent on wiping out Iran's nuclear capabilities. Four nuclear powers, going hot in the skies over Iran.

A world singing in perfect harmony? It was all a daydream.

GOLDEN RETRIEVER BORN GREEN

Yeppers. Green. Dog's name is Wasabi. Damned if we can think of any dog with a normally green coat, but we don't get out much.

The Daily Bulletin in Ontario, Calif., offers this:

Wasabi was born in the Alhambra home of Peter Tseng on Nov 3. The puppy is the daughter of AKC (American Kennel Club) registered golden retrievers Goldie (mom) and Coco (dad) but, unlike her shiny blond siblings, her fur has an pale olive green sheen.

The green pup was a big surprise to Tseng and his wife, Janet Chen, reported their daughter, Amy Cosylion of South Pasadena.

But Goldie doesn’t mind at all.

“Goldie doesn’t care. She looks at everything as the same thing,” Tseng said.

Will Wasabi stay green? Tseng doesn’t know.

“I called the doctor at the animal hospital and he said to wait three or four weeks to see what happens,” Tseng said.

Little Wasabi, named after the green Japanese mustard commonly served with sushi, has had a lot of notice on TV. She also is the talk of the neighborhood.

“All the neighbors are coming over to see her,” Tseng said. “It’s too much.”

The dog's owners have already turned down a $2,000 offer for the pup. Karma now demands that the green tint quickly fade.

BLUNT PLOTS A GOOD JANUARY

Good for Rep. Roy Blunt, that is, and bad for Rep. Tom DeLay, the House Majority Leader currently sidelined -- but only temporarily, wink wink, nudge nudge -- while he fights money laundering charges.

A Texas judge dinged a conspiracy charge on Monday but let stand the more serious moolah-Maytag accusations. DeLay had hoped to be cleared on Monday so he could take back his power.

No dice. We hear Blunt is pretty comfortable in his Leader role -- but only temporarily, wink wink, nudge nudge -- and isn't keen on letting go of what he's got. Tuesday's Washingon Post seems to confirm that the long knives are out for the nicked DeLay:

DeLay's leadership position has been temporarily assumed by Rep. Roy Blunt (Mo.), and no new vote is planned. But a former GOP leadership aide, speaking on the condition of anonymity for fear of crossing DeLay, said that among House Republicans "the overwhelming feeling is if things are not squared away by the time they come back in January, there will be a petition dropped on the speaker's desk for an election" to permanently replace him.

DeLay was Blunt's mentor in Congress. This must be the part where the student turns on his master.

WELCOME, MARMOT

Our blogriffic friend, The Snarling Marmot, has arrived in the 'burg with hub Mike to set up shop in the Midwest.

Odd when you "know" someone via the world o' blogs, and then meet them in person. We are pleased to report that the Marmots are splendid peeps, and will be a welcome addition to Springfield. Local hamburger joint Taylor's should be mightily pleased.

JOHN KERRY: STILL A LOSER

The Democrat who lost the 2004 race to George W. Bush was on "Face The Nation" on Sunday, fielding queries from Bob Schieffer.

Smitty alerted us to the appearance, saying the good senator from Massachusetts put his foot in his mouth -- again -- while answering a question about Iraq.

Let's go to the transcript, Batman!

"[T]here is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the -- of -- the historical customs, religious customs. Whether you like it or not ... Iraqis should be doing that."

You bet, John. Whatever you say.

HIGH-SCHOOLERS SUSPENDED FOR MURDER FANTASY

It should surprise no one when kids write crap in their journals. Online or on real paper, journals are supposed to be the place where you can write anything you want. Unless you're actually plotting to carry out your nefarious plans, in which case the adults get all hinky and start looking at you like you've grown a third nipple on your nose, just before they bring out the tranks.

In Santa Ana, Calif., two high-school boys have been suspended and face expulsion for violent journal entries. Scott McKnight and Sam Smith wrote in detail about how they would kill their English teacher at Tesoro High School.

On Friday a judge unsealed the journals and returned them "to the parties involved," according to the Orange County Register. The school district says it won't release the writings; the boys and their families maintain the journals are private and shouldn't be made public. After all, the boys argue, the teacher promised that the journals would never be read. They existed as a class exercise, a way to impose daily writing discipline on students.

But McKnight and Smith are still suspended from the football team, pending an expulsion hearing.

The English teacher, Alyssa Di Somma, reported the students to the district on Oct. 20, alarmed after reading some wicked words about her. According to The Associated Press:

The entries refer to gluing the teacher naked to a wall and cutting off her feet, and killing her family while she watches, according to court documents that quote partial excerpts. The teens' family members have said the two wrote the entries as a prank and egged each other on.

"I am planning on coming in your room late one night while you're still working," reads one partial entry. "I will smother you in gasoline and light your head on fire."

Before Friday's ruling, another judge had ruled the journal entries weren't private because "private thoughts lose their identity as such when they are reduced to writing as part of a class assignment and turned into the teacher for grading."

Lookit, the kids are idiots for a) believing the teacher when she said the journals wouldn't be read, and 2) writing such incendiary thoughts about the person most likely to read the journals. But why should they be expelled from school, absent any concrete evidence of a plan to strip the teacher naked, glue her to a wall and cut off her feet? We're talking a lot of glue, plus a sharp saw.

ARKANSAS MAN JUMPS WHITE HOUSE FENCE

We read the hed and couldn't stop the instant thought: Bill's trying to get back in. Run, Bill, Run!

Alas, no. Just some goob from the state that makes Missouri shine. Relatively speaking, natch. From The Associated Press:

A man from Arkansas scaled the fence surrounding the White House Sunday while President Bush was inside and was immediately captured by Secret Service officers.

Secret Service spokesman Jonathan Cherry identified the jumper as Shawn A. Cox. Cherry said Cox was being charged with unlawful entry and was expected to appear Monday in U.S. District Court.

Cox has previously come to the attention of the Secret Service, Cherry said, but he would not provide details.

Cherry said he did not know where Cox was from in Arkansas or why he wanted to get on the White House grounds. He did not have a weapon, Cherry said.

Bush was at home when Cox climbed the fence on the northeast side of the property around lunchtime.

Uniformed Secret Service officers stood by with guns drawn while an agent escorted Cox to a guard station.

Cox was wearing a sweatshirt, he was unshaven and his pants were wet and dirty from where he was brought to the ground.

He did not answer a journalist's question about why he jumped the fence.

He jumped it 'cause it was there.

CYNTHIA DAVIS AT IT AGAIN

An earlier edition of CHATTER spent considerable time teeing off on Cynthia Davis, a Missouri lawmaker who seems to believe that science is worthless.

Davis, an especially virulent member of the radical right, tried in 2005 to get so-called intelligent design taught in Missouri public schools. Of course she failed, miserably; her bill didn't even come up for a vote in the full House.

But never fear. Much like the vampire, Cynthia Davis refuses to die. This week she vowed to reintroduce her ID legislation in the 2006 session. The Kansas City Star says Gov. Matt Blunt "earlier this year indicated he would at least consider intelligent design proposals."

According to the paper, Blunt said:

"I believe evolution is a theory, and there are other acceptable theories to explain the creation of Earth and the creation of man. I generally believe such decisions are best left to school districts."

Well, yes, some people believe aliens invaded Earth and had sex with early humans. Care to teach that in high-school science, governor?

Cynthia Davis, meanwhile, told the paper that she only wants kids to hear "both sides" of this fake controversy:

"For years, the proponents of evolution have asked the students to just take a lot by faith: Time plus magic equals life," she said. "There are some parts of evolution that don't add up."

Davis also said "Kansas is doing the right thing" by changing the definition of science and shunning evolution. We're curious to see how far her Republican colleagues will let Davis go before they silence her ill-informed rants.

LOS ANGELES, 1970

We were at Lillian Street Elementary School in Los Angeles. Not exactly a garden spot, but hey, you work with what you've got.

Miss Yamamoto was our teacher that year. Only now can we appreciate her cojones. Because during one memorable school assembly, Miss Yamamoto brought her flock to the stage to sing "War" by Edwin Starr.

Of course we weren't as good as Starr. We weren't very good at all, really. But we can still remember standing in front of parents and other adults and singing at the top of our lungs: War can’t give life, it can only take it away.

We heard the song tonight while tooling across Springfield and wondered: Could an elementary-school teacher get away with such hubris today? Good God, y'all.

LOCAL PRIEST IN TROUBLE IN ST. LOUIS

CHATTER's always reliable man, MIT, spotted this story while on roving assignment in St. Louis. Sounds very troubling for those who care about the goings-on in the Catholic Church.

From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

In a defiant challenge to Archbishop Raymond Burke's authority as the leader of the Archdiocese of St. Louis, the board of directors of St. Stanislaus Kostka Church has hired a Roman Catholic priest from the neighboring diocese of Springfield-Cape Girardeau to be its parish pastor.

The Rev. Marek B. Bozek will take over at St. Stanislaus, without Burke's consent. Bozek, 30, was associate pastor at St. Agnes Cathedral in Springfield, Mo., and is a native of Poland. He will celebrate his first Mass at St. Stanislaus on Christmas Eve.

"I am deeply saddened by this action, which causes further damage to the Church, not only here in St. Louis, but in the diocese of Springfield-Cape Girardeau as well," said Burke in a statement.

Burke and the Polish-heritage parishioners of St. Stanislaus have been in a legal battle over control of the church for nearly two years.

In an interview Friday, Bozek said Bishop John J. Leibrecht, leader of the Springfield-Cape Girardeau Diocese, had asked Burke if the priest could take a leave of absence to shepherd St. Stanislaus while the dispute over control was resolved. Burke refused, and Bozek resigned from St. Agnes Friday.

"I find it my sacred duty as an ordained Catholic priest to answer the call of the people of St. Stanislaus Kostka Parish," Bozek wrote to Leibrecht. "They are the People of God in need of a spiritual leader and a pastor, and I am willing to answer their call, which I believe to be the call of God himself."

Leibrecht is retiring and on his way out in the local diocese. His successor will certainly have some blow-back to handle.

MOM CHARGED WITH GIVING SMACK TO INFANT

Angelica Mendoza: Not a saint, according to cops. UPI reports:

A young mother in New Mexico has been charged with giving her newborn son methadone and heroin in an effort to calm his withdrawal symptoms.

Angelica Mendoza was arrested at Carrie Tingley Hospital in Albuquerque, the Albuquerque Journal reported. She is being held in lieu of $200,000 bond.

Mendoza, who was on methadone maintenance during her pregnancy, gave birth more than two weeks ago. She reportedly admitted that on Tuesday, when her 16-day-old son showed signs of withdrawal, she tried to calm him by putting a small amount of methadone on his pacifier.

When her son remained irritable, she tried a mix of heroin and methadone.

The baby, who had to be resuscitated three times, was transferred to the University of New Mexico Hospital.

Hospital security officers said they found a backpack with drug paraphernalia and needles in the infant's room at Carrie Tingley.

Who's she trying to be, Courtney Love?

OLD SOLES?

Evidence of really, really old humans -- or nothing at all? This week's Nature mag tries to suss out the answer:

Alleged footprints of early Americans found in volcanic rock in Mexico are either extremely old - more than 1 million years older than other evidence of human presence in the Western Hemisphere - or not footprints at all, according to a new analysis published this week in Nature.

The study was conducted by geologists at the Berkeley Geochronology Center and the University of California, Berkeley, as part of an investigative team of geologists and anthropologists from the United States and Mexico.

Earlier this year, researchers in England touted these "footprints" as definitive proof that humans were in the Americas much earlier than 11,000 years ago, which is the accepted date for the arrival of humans across a northern land-bridge from Asia.

These scientists, led by geologist Silvia Gonzalez of Liverpool's John Moores University, dated the volcanic rock at 40,000 years old. They hypothesized that early hunters walked across ash freshly deposited near a lake by volcanoes that are still active in the area around Puebla, Mexico. The so-called footprints, subsequently covered by more ash and inundated by lake waters, eventually turned to rock.

But Paul Renne, director of the Berkeley Geochronology Center and an adjunct professor of earth and planetary science at UC Berkeley, and his colleagues in Mexico and at Texas A&M University report in the Dec. 1 issue of Nature a new age for the rock: about 1.3 million years.

"You're really only left with two possibilities," Renne said. "One is that they are really old hominids - shockingly old - or they're not footprints."

Probably nothing at all. Still a fascinating read.

HEY THERE, PART 2

Sorry for the paucity of posts on Thursday; the other life required close attention.

Speaking of that other life, we'll be telling you more this weekend about the debut of a news show that'll be seen in 21 cities in 10 southwest Missouri counties, starting early 2006. Should be muy bad-ass, and candidly worth your eyeballs. But first we must meet with Doc Larry, who plays the vital role in this venture, and break bread. Or at least drink coffee.

HEY THERE

Happy Thursday. We're still hanging fire on a folo to the News-Leader's dust-up with the Community Foundation; CF bossman Gary Funk is out of the office until Monday. We did have an interesting conversation with Don Wyatt, editor of the daily, and we'd love to tell you all about it -- but after reminding Wyatt of the basic rules of engagement he quickly opted to go off-the-record to vent his spleen.

Mmm ... spleen.

We can understand why Wyatt might be a tad edgy. He presided over an incredibly mediocre weekend piece about Hmong in the Ozarks -- a package that came, sources say, after Gannett corporate types swept into town and complained about a lack of diversity in the newspaper. Coincidence? You decide.