DID DOMINATRIX DISMEMBER DUDE?

Prosecutors say Barbara Asher -- also known as Mistress Lauren M -- did just that. The professed dominatrix says the unfortunate man was never a client, and that police bullied her into confessing.

Set aside the contradiction of a dominatrix being bullied; perhaps she's simply not very good at her job. Asher seems to have a case.

The skinny: Prosecutors say Michael Lord hired Asher. He then proceeded to die on the rack of a heart attack. In her dungeon. In a condominium in Quincy, Mass.

It gets more ridiculous.

Prosecutor Robert Nelson says Asher called her boyfriend, who helped her remove Lord from the rack and into a bathtub. From there, the 280-pound Lord was hacksawed and bagged into eight parcels, which were then dumped behind a restaurant in Augusta, Maine. Or so claim the authorities, who gleaned this info from Asher's confession to police.

But they don't have a tape of the confession, and Asher's attorney, Stephanie Page, says her client was grilled for two hours before spilling her story.

You know what else police don't have? Any forensic evidence linking Asher to Lord. The bathtub yielded no trace of Lord. Neither did Asher's vehicle, allegedly used to dump the body parts. The tub also didn't have any telltale signs of bleach or strong cleansers.

The Associated Press has the complete write-up here. From that story, a few grafs:

(Asher's lawyer) said investigators failed to follow through on possible leads in the case, including that Lord had a 20-year affair with a married woman.

"That woman's husband had threatened to kill Michael Lord," Page said.

In addition to the criminal charges, Asher faces a $1 million wrongful death suit filed by Lord's family.

Lord's son, Nathan, was the first prosecution witness. He said he only learned of his father's penchant for sado-masochism weeks after his disappearance, when he and his brother visited Lord's trailer in North Hampton with police to search for clues. They found leather bondage devices and contact numbers and e-mails for escorts and dominatrixes.

They never found Michael Lord's body. Perhaps he's still alive and is just tied up.