MICROWAVED PENIS A FAKE

Updating you on last week's blurb about a penis in a microwave -- it didn't happen. OK, the microwaving happened, but not with a penis. The Associated Press insists you read on:

McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero said the woman who came into the store with the fake penis was actually trying to cheat on a job application drug test.

Prosthetic penises that contain drug-free urine are sold on the Internet. According to the woman, the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would pass the body temperature test.

Police plan to interview the woman Monday.

This sounds like a job for the Whizzinator!