Monday, August 28, 2006

BARNEY'S BIG PURPLE ONE

The movies "Romancing the Bone" and "Gum Me Bare" have nothing on the porn knockoff of Barney.

The Village News in Fallbrook, Calif., ran this interesting letter to the editor earlier this month:
I took my family out to Daniel’s for groceries. I have a 6-year-old daughter who learned how to read from the Barney and Friends book series. As we stepped out of the family van, she was very excited to see a Barney movie being advertised on the Daniel’s Market lit sign. She said, “Look, Daddy, a Barney movie!” I couldn’t see it, so she guided my eyes to the vulgar obscenity arranged there on the sign. "Look! Up there! Barney’s p***s!" I was shocked when I saw the words arranged on the sign. I quickly averted her eyes and escorted her into the store.

Since then, she has not stopped mentioning Barney’s p***s. This has shaken the bedrock of our family. I made an emergency call to our church’s pastor about this bombshell in my daughter’s life and he is unsure how it will affect her future.

This sort of sick joke is typical of unlawful teenagers across the country, but I just didn’t think the little town of Fallbrook was home to such hoodlums. I am frightened for my daughter’s future; she won’t stop bringing up this horrible movie title! I would like Daniel’s Market to apologize for traumatizing my daughter, and I would like the pranksters to know just how vile their criminal act was.
Brookfield, Mo., used to have a Sinclair gasoline station, with a large Dino painted on the side of the building. Every so often someone would add a package to Dino. We should have made a video.

2 comments:

busplunge said...

"I made an emergency call to our church's pastor about this bombshell in my daughter's life and he is unsure how it will affect her future."

Sheet, just bring down to Newton County, we got a church down there that will make everything seem all right.

What kind of nut calls his pastor about something like this?

Wonder if they call their pasture and ask who they should be voting for in the upcoming lections.

Hey! Anybody read Bob Dixon's article in today's paper? Guess he learned a lesson from Mark Wright: Don't p**s off the Blunts!

Remember his mom and "The Normal Heart" controversy at SMS back in the early nineties?

Gee, I need to call my pastor to see if I shud vote to let miners in bars.

Fat Jack said...

Penis, elbow, finger, eyebrow. It's just a body part. Body parts are not vile, nor are their names. From a religious perspective, God made them. It is part of our temple and should be treated with love and respect.

I know I love mine each and every day. Sometimes twice if I catch time.

My daughter knows both penis and vagina and she is not scared from the knowledge.