THE ULTIMATE HANDJOB

Shiver yer timbers, fine fellows, as you read this cautionary from North Carolina involving alcohol, an argument and castration. The Dunn Daily Record reports:

Rebecca Ann Dawson, 34, of 700 Stockyard Road who is listed in Harnett County Jail records as Rebecca Arnold, was arrested by Lillington Police Officer R.D. Bass after she allegedly attacked Kevin Russ during an argument.

Lillington Police Chief Frank Powers would not release details about how the incident happened, he said, until the case is investigated further.

"Some of the witnesses were intoxicated, so we have to do more investigating," he said.

"It was a domestic situation and she attacked him with her hands," Chief Powers said. "There were no weapons involved."

Chief Powers said Officer Bass also charged Ms. Dawson with resisting arrest.

"She resisted a little," he said.

Chief Powers said Ms. Dawson spit on the officer while being arrested.

Ms. Dawson was arrested on four charges. She faces felony counts of assault causing serious bodily injury, malicious conduct by a prisoner, injury to personal property and malicious castration.

As opposed to charitable castration, of course. Dawson is free on $50,000 bond. She's scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 17, 2007.