Sunday, February 11, 2007


The father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby is:

•Her lawyer, Howard K. Stern;

•Her former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead;

•Zsa Zsa Gabor's flamboyant husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt.

Or -- horror of horrors -- the child is the product of a dead man's semen.

According to the New York Daily News, the father of Smith's baby may be none other than J. Howard Marshall, the uber-rich dead guy she once married. The claim comes from a book manuscript written by Smith's estranged sister, Donna Hogan:
Depicting her half-sister as ever calculating, Hogan wrote that Smith was "seeing into the future. ... She takes Howard in to have his sperm tested. When the results show that he is still fertile, she has a quantity of his sperm frozen."

Hogan wrote that when her half-sister announced to the world she was pregnant, she declined to name the father.

"To her family, she hinted that she had used the old man's frozen sperm, and would be giving birth to Howard Marshall's child," the manuscript claims.
CHATTER can confirm that its chief typist is not the father.


John Stone said...

Of course, the CHATTERismist-guy is not the father ... she can already say "llama", rather than "rama" ...

I have indentified the father on my blog ... and you can read about him here:

Anonymous said...

For the record, I did not have sexual relations with THAT woman.

-- B. Clinton

Anonymous said...

Watching this sad paternity circus is like watching lesbian porn: It's just one big set of boobs pressed against another.

Anonymous said...

Don't be so quick to rule yourself out, Ron. As the list of hopefuls shows, the laws of nature don't necessarily apply when it comes to Anna's spawn. After all, aliens could have teleported your seed directly to the ANS baby factory during a particularly vivid nocturnal interlude ... I've also heard that used underwear is a main ingredient in Trimspa (tm).