Thursday, March 29, 2007

SHE SAID HER NAME WAS MELISSA

She wore a thigh-length black coat. Nothing underneath. The Michigan Daily reports:
Police have been unable to locate a woman who entered the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house (at the University of Michigan) without permission on Thursday and began to masturbate on a couch.

While fraternity members were eating in the dining room, a woman entered the house's living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating, said LSA junior Dan Nye, the president of the Washtenaw Avenue fraternity.

No one saw the woman enter the house or knew how she got in. Nye said she could have entered through the front door, which was left propped open while it was being repaired.

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. The woman was talking on her cell phone at one point, said LSA sophomore Adam Bayard, a member of the fraternity.

She walked out of the front door wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police, Nye said. When police arrived minutes later, the woman had already left.

According to a police report, the woman was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.
The woman said she was a student at Eastern Michigan University.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

They called the cops?

John Stone said...

Kicked her booty out after 30 minutes on the couch, eh?

A KA would have taken that as a challenge to his manhood.

Anonymous said...

They called the cops? What's wrong with kids these days?

Anonymous said...

Hey, you left out the part of the Michigan Daily report that says the fraternity plans to throw out two couches that were part of the "crime scene."

If they were smart, they'd sell 'em on eBay...

Anonymous said...

Red, you so made that up!

Anonymous said...

"Lady, you'd better stop that... eventually..."

Aging Provocateur

Anonymous said...

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I am a sophomore at a large midwestern university. I never used to think your letters were true, until one day this spaced-out chick, wearing a trench coat and carrying a Steely Dan model Black & Decker cordless vibrator, wandered into our fraternity house and proceeded to make tracks all over our sofas...

dr.filbert said...

I'll take Aram Harum Scarum for two thousand, Alex...

Why is Rachel Aram calling herself Melissa?