SATURDAY, BRIEFLY

•George Wesley Helms was a police officer in Hutto, Texas. Now he's just an accused perv. The 35-year-old cop is charged with sexual performance of a child, according to the Austin American Statesman. Helms was working as a resource officer at Hutto High School when he reportedly took several pics of a 16-year-old student. The next day she shows up at his office:

This time, according to court documents, Helms put a chair in front of his office door and asked the girl to remove her shirt, bra and pants.

He then photographed her topless and gave her $50 "to induce her to stay a little longer," the affidavit states.

The story does not say whether coats were pulled off and thrown in a corner.

•Chang Po-yu, a veterinarian, was just doing his job this week at the Shaoshan Zoo in Taiwan. His job, in this case, was retrieving a tranquilizer dart from a 440-pound Nile crocodile. Unfortunately, Chang didn't notice that the croc wasn't zonked; Chang stuck his arm through a rail. The croc was not amused. There is good news: Doctors were able to reattach Chang's arm. Click here for the picture. It's gruesome, horrible, unbelievable -- in other words, man, click that link.

•By popular demand: A reader wanted to see photos of Phil Spector, the music producer accused of shooting a woman in the face. Here's a snap of Spector when he was a genius, and almost sane. This is when he decided to sport an old-school 'fro. And this is his current Fifth Beatle 'do. Go and style no more.