KNOW THY OPPONENT

Barack Obama gets a new limousine on Jan. 20. This, of course, gives racists and their fellow travelers the green light to make tired jokes.

Witness this Free Republic thread about the new president's limousine, and how it's viewed by the mouth-breathers on the fringe right. One Freeper called Obama's inauguration:

oh.. .you mean the pimp 'n ho ball in washdc on jan 20?

Yeah. Stay classy, Free Republic.

LIKE 1968, ONLY BETTER

Forty years ago. The Election of Attrition. A political year of blood and mayhem, with the pitiful survivors of November crawling into an arena frequented only months earlier by the stars of their sport. Lyndon Johnson took a powder. So did Robert Kennedy, literally. Nelson Rockefeller was figuratively killed by his party for being too liberal, too Happy.

Democrats were left to front Hubert Humphrey, the happy-faced, fast-talking vice president. Republicans backed Richard Nixon, a paranoid scowler who'd already blown one bid for the White House. Everyone else got George Wallace, a racist still unaware of the bullet and wheelchair in his future.

We flash forward to four decades later and the circle is closed. The best candidates -- at least on the Democratic bench -- are back to flipping impeachment burgers (Dennis Kucinich) and minding the Senate store (Chris Dodd, Hillary Clinton). The Republicans overlooked an optimist and a Mormon.

Who would have bet six months ago that John McCain might beat Barack Obama? Bill Clinton:

"[H]e has some redeeming qualities for a Republican: he doesn't believe in toture, he supported campaign finance reform and he doesn't think global warming is a myth ... So it is not gonna be all that easy to beat him."

The Obama faithful sniffed and barked at the Big Dog for not snapping a stiff-armed salute at their Leader, but the Dog knows the truth: This is politics, not the debate club. Want to implement the ideas, the ideals? Win. Or at least act like you want to win, and try to keep your nutty fan club (relatives, close associates, pastors, pill-popping spouses) in the basement until the polls close in the general election.

Obama should be 10, maybe 12 points ahead of McCain at this point, getting ready to vet the cabinet. Bill Clinton was beating Bob Dole like Balboa beats beef slabs in August 1996. Because Clinton knew it's all about the lowest common denominator. Save the oration for the inauguration.

We said last January that McCain was off-his-rocker crazy -- a clinical term, not tossed around lightly -- and thus unqualified to be President of the United States. He's still all that, but turns out he's fox crazy, too, cunning and willing to use the WASP knife in battle. Hence the priggish Sarah Palin, a meaty bone to the GOP base that can't stand McCain (McPain is one of the nicer nicknames the far right uses).

McCain knows he's using his base to win. He knows he's using Palin, even if he believes she's unqualified. He's already on record belittling wanna-bes:

"I am prepared. I am prepared. I need no on-the-job training. I wasn't a mayor for a short period of time. I wasn't a governor for a short period of time."

Democrats will try to use McCain's words against him, but it won't work. They're too angry at Republican hypocrisy to think straight. They're baffled by the bullshit, belittling Palin at their peril. Wily Willie Brown, the best political animal ever to set foot in California, hailed the Palin pick as a brilliant political move:

"Republicans are now on offense and Democrats are on defense. And we don't do well on defense."

Joe Biden has been defanged by the choice of Palin. That attack dog won't hunt. Obama is spending too much time talking about the Republicans' veep pick, not enough time keeping it simple. And raising money, given his flip-flop on public financing of his campaign. He's got to raise $100 million a month to meet his fundraising goals, and he's falling short. While Obama begs for bucks, McCain campaigns.

Democrats don't get it. John McCain wants to win. They want to whine.

JESSE HELMS, 86

The former U.S. Senator died early Friday, proving his patriotism by expiring on the Fourth of July.

PALE SONGWRITER

Michael Jackson -- musical genius, incredibly performer, absolute freak. And back in the spotlight. EbonyJet.com features the whitest-ever image of Jackson on the cover of Ebony.

It's been 25 years since Thriller. Wish today's Jackson would do something equally earth-shattering in the studio.

AND THEY DIDN'T SMELL!

When Bill O'Reilly peeled away a corner of his public mask and allowed us a peek at what's inside -- that's when the end game began. The outcome in our post-Imus world is clear; he can kick and scream (or whine with decreasing volume), but O'Reilly is, professionally speaking, a dead man talking.

As you probably know, O'Reilly talked last week about his dinner with Al Sharpton at Sylvia's, a famous soul-food restaurant in Harlem. During his rambling, O'Reilly repeatedly expressed surprise at the lack of profanity and violence -- and at how well-behaved black people were during dinner and an Anita Baker concert.

Media Matters has the transcript of what O'Reilly said. The transcript also includes Juan Williams in his role as O'Reilly's lapdog.

Some of what O'Reilly said is truth:

I don't think there's a black American who hasn't had a personal insult that they've had to deal with because of the color of their skin. I don't think there's one in the country.

But much of what he said was steeped in an I'll-be-damned amazement -- black folks being respectful! all dressed up! not a grill in sight!

And I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship.

O'Reilly is trying hard to dismiss the predictable outcry from his remarks as a sign the "liberal media" is out to get him. Like his notions about black people, O'Reilly dates himself when he peddles the "liberal media" cliche. He sounds so establishment '60s, the parent who's surprised to find his son's hippie friend isn't a grunting Commie.

In saying such things, O'Reilly proves he's a dinosaur waiting for an asteroid. His time is short.

CALL HIM 'CHIEF IMUS'

The police chief of Pewaukee, Wis., is being sued in federal court by one of his police officers. The officer claims Chief Gary Bach threatened to fire him because the officer told the chief to stop with the sexist and racist remarks.

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports:

Officer Robert Kraemer contends that Bach in retaliation wrongfully took away Kraemer's position as community service officer and put him on patrol duties.

In the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Milwaukee, Kraemer says his First Amendment rights to free speech were violated and is seeking at least $300,000 in damages. ...

Bach was not at work today and was not immediately available for comment.

According to the lawsuit, Kraemer in October 2006 learned that a number of police department employees were "unhappy with Bach's use of derogatory name calling of females and minority groups."

Following the discipline of a female officer that month, Kraemer warned Bach to stop calling female officers names, the suit says. Kraemer said he also heard the chief use a vulgar term when Bach referred to the city's female administrator, according to the suit.

The suit says Kraemer also told Bach that Bach needed to stop calling females "fat naked sumo wrestlers,... to stop referring to certain minority groups as the 'N' word, to stop sending pornographic e-mails to female members of the PPD, and to stop harassing certain female employees."

Here's a photo of the Pewaukee Police Department.

IMUS LOSES SPONSORS

When last we wrote about Don Imus' troubles, his show had simply been suspended for two weeks. Now Imus faces bigger woes; according to The New York Times, sponsors are dropping like flies from the Imus show. Among them:

Miralus Healthcare, a pharmaceutical company that makes a headache medication called HeadOn, said yesterday that they had asked MSNBC to remove their advertising from the television simulcast of Mr. Imus’s radio program and run their commercials elsewhere.

Whoa. When the maker of the world's most obnoxious commercials ditches your show, you know you're toast.

But what's it all mean, Stimpy? Art Morris has an interesting take on the Imus flap at his Missouri Radio forums:

I think Imus stumbled onto a new trend in this country, "The Anti-Rap Backlash."

I read a story a few days ago that said that sales of rap music had dropped something like 25% in the past year or so. Record company execs weren't quite sure what was going on. I think I understand now. Voices were already being heard, especially in the black community, condeming the 'rap lifestyle.' Apparently, the public, finally, is turning against the hate speech that so characterizes much of rap music, and the culture around it.

At the very least, Imus is guilty of not keeping up. He was trying to be hip and cool, and missed the fact that the some people are turning against that kind of speech. Ooops, stuck in the 90's.

If this situation puts another nail in the coffin of the 'rap lifestyle,' that's OK with me. Except for one small thing ... freedom of speech.

THE CARPET IS HONKY WHITE

WTF, and we don't mean Welcome To Friday. A Canadian family bought furniture and had it delivered to their home in Brampton. All hell broke loose.

Why? The Toronto Star reports:

When the new chocolate-coloured sofa set was delivered to her Brampton home, Doris Moore was stunned to see packing labels describing the shade as "Nigger-brown."

She and husband Douglas purchased a sofa, loveseat and chair in dark brown leather last week from Vanaik Furniture and Mattress store on Dundas St. E.

Moore, 30, who describes herself as an African-American born and raised in New York, said it was her 7-year-old daughter who pointed out the label just after delivery men from the Mississauga furniture store left.

"She's very curious and she started reading the labels," Moore explained. "She said, `Mommy, what is nig ... ger brown?' I went over and just couldn't believe my eyes."

She said yesterday each piece had a similar label affixed to the woven protective covering wrapped around the furniture. ...

When interviewed yesterday by the Star, Romesh Kumar, Vanaik's assistant manager, passed the buck to his supplier, Cosmos Furniture in Scarborough.

Believe it or not, it's a listed pigment in some Chinese manufacturing.

PARENTS: OUR KID'S TOO BLACK

Thomas and Nancy Andrews live in Long Island. They say they love their daughter. You decide.

Jessica was born in 2004, after Mom went through in-vitro fertilization at New York Medical Services for Reproductive Medicine. Dad's sperm was supposed to be used. Something went wrong -- a "colossal blunder," according to the couple's lawsuit. The New York Daily News reports:

Thomas Andrews is white and his wife is Dominican. But Jessica, who was born Oct. 19, 2004, has darker skin than either of them as well as "characteristics more typical of African or African-American descent," the lawsuit states.

The couple tested their daughter's DNA using a home kit and later with two more sophisticated methods. All three of the tests confirmed their suspicions - the tot has a different father.

"We underwent a difficult and complex medical procedure for the sole purpose of bearing a child of our own," the couple said in court papers. "We were never informed that this type of mishap could occur, and frankly, this type of mishap is almost unimaginable."

In legal documents, the couple said they were "emotionally devastated" when they found out Thomas Andrews, who had donated his sperm to be inseminated in his wife, was not the girl's biological father.

"We fear that our daughter will be the object of scorn and ridicule by other children, both in school and as she grows up," they said.

Or at least by her parents. It's not the worst thing the Andrewses said in their lawsuit. That would be this quote: "While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her. It is simply impossible to ignore."

EXECUTIVE ORDER 9066

Sixty-five years ago Monday, President Franklin Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066. It led to the incarceration of more than 100,000 people of Japanese ancestry. Most were citizens or legal residents of the United States. Half of the imprisoned were children.

Roosevelt ordered:

Whereas the successful prosecution of the war requires every possible protection against espionage and against sabotage to national-defense material, national-defense premises, and national-defense utilities as defined in Section 4, Act of April 20, 1918, 40 Stat. 533, as amended by the Act of November 30, 1940, 54 Stat. 1220, and the Act of August 21, 1941, 55 Stat. 655 (U.S.C., Title 50, Sec. 104);

Now, therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me as President of the United States, and Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy, I hereby authorize and direct the Secretary of War, and the Military Commanders whom he may from time to time designate, whenever he or any designated Commander deems such action necessary or desirable, to prescribe military areas in such places and of such extent as he or the appropriate Military Commander may determine, from which any or all persons may be excluded, and with respect to which, the right of any person to enter, remain in, or leave shall be subject to whatever restrictions the Secretary of War or the appropriate Military Commander may impose in his discretion. The Secretary of War is hereby authorized to provide for residents of any such area who are excluded therefrom, such transportation, food, shelter, and other accommodations as may be necessary, in the judgment of the Secretary of War or the said Military Commander, and until other arrangements are made, to accomplish the purpose of this order. The designation of military areas in any region or locality shall supersede designations of prohibited and restricted areas by the Attorney General under the Proclamations of December 7 and 8, 1941, and shall supersede the responsibility and authority of the Attorney General under the said Proclamations in respect of such prohibited and restricted areas.

I hereby further authorize and direct the Secretary of War and the said Military Commanders to take such other steps as he or the appropriate Military Commander may deem advisable to enforce compliance with the restrictions applicable to each Military area hereinabove authorized to be designated, including the use of Federal troops and other Federal Agencies, with authority to accept assistance of state and local agencies.

I hereby further authorize and direct all Executive Departments, independent establishments and other Federal Agencies, to assist the Secretary of War or the said Military Commanders in carrying out this Executive Order, including the furnishing of medical aid, hospitalization, food, clothing, transportation, use of land, shelter, and other supplies, equipment, utilities, facilities, and services.

This order shall not be construed as modifying or limiting in any way the authority heretofore granted under Executive Order No. 8972, dated December 12, 1941, nor shall it be construed as limiting or modifying the duty and responsibility of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, with respect to the investigation of alleged acts of sabotage or the duty and responsibility of the Attorney General and the Department of Justice under the Proclamations of December 7 and 8, 1941, prescribing regulations for the conduct and control of alien enemies, except as such duty and responsibility is superseded by the designation of military areas hereunder.

FDR, perhaps the greatest president in American history, is also one of the worst because of what he did to his fellow Americans. History calls them "internment camps." We prefer Roosevelt's own description of the 10 facilities: concentration camps.

KRAMER AND O.J.

Michael Richards, the actor who played Kramer on "Seinfeld," went on "The Late Show" on Monday to spew an apology for his weekend explosion at a comedy club in California.

The skinny: Richards was heckled by a couple dudes who happen to be black. Richards freaked and dropped more than a few N-bombs (and the "N" doesn't stand for Newman, either). Someone in the audience shot vid on a cell phone. The rest is sordid pop history.

Painful as it was to watch, Richards' apology -- the act of it, at least -- was mandatory. Had he not apologized he would have been killed, gutted, roasted at 325 degrees and served up in lieu of turkey on Thursday. Andy Kaufman would have risen from the dead and smacked Richards for losing his cool. But now that he has issued his very public mea maxima culpa, Richards is free to continue his post-"Seinfeld" life. Free of the threat of a boycott, the 7th season of "Seinfeld" is cleared for huge sales. The country is safe from white men other than Quentin Tarantino dropping N-bombs, safe from bombing comedians, safer than it has been since Feb. 1, 2004, when the U.S. was attacked by Janet Jackson's right nipple.

But it is a short-lived safety; in the long run we are screwed, destined to choke on our own conniptions. We are being outraged to death. Offended to extinction.

If something offends us today we righteously insist on immediate reparations or the offensive thing must be banished, no thoughts given, no questions asked.

Fox boss Rupert Murdoch on Monday dropped the O.J. Simpson project and apologized profusely to the families of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Murdoch said the O.J. book and TV special were "ill considered." He took pains to make sure everyone knows he was offended. He did not mention feeling this way until it became clear that his network would probably lose money on the project. No matter; having shown his outrage, Murdoch is now a Good Guy. Our nation is safe from O.J. and ready to repel any future ugliness.

Don't like the idea of a book? Scream until the publisher gives up. Don't like a planned TV special? Yell until the network surrenders. Don't like what a performer says? Complain until the person is forced to capitulate.

If we had followed this catechism in 1975, pop culture would have been saved from "News for the Hard of Hearing" on "Saturday Night Live." Another SNL skit from that year -- "Racist Word Association Interview" -- would have died in the writer's room. That year's great movie, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," would have been condemned for its insensitive portrayal of Native Americans (not to mention the mentally ill). Judith Guest's novel, Ordinary People, may have been boycotted, instead of praised, for its brutal honesty about teen suicide and emotionally distant mothers.

Change the channel? Ignore the offensive? Don't buy the book?

Your suggestion is outrageous. Don't be offensive.

CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE: BLACKS CAN'T SWIM

Tramm Hudson is running to replace Katherine Harris in the 13th Congressional District in Florida. He may have doomed his candidacy when he decided to riff during a Christian Coalition forum. A video camera recorded his words. The Sarasota Herald Tribune reports:

In the 27-second clip, which first appeared on the conservative Web site redstate.com and quickly spread to other blogs, Hudson spoke about a training exercise during which the infantry company he commanded was to cross a river.

"A large number were black," Hudson said. "I grew up in Alabama. I understand, uh, I know from experience, that blacks are not the greatest swimmers or may not even know how to swim."

Hudson made the comments during a speech at candiates’ forum hosted by the Christian Coalition, according to a Hudson campaign manager. He could not recall the date of the appearance.

Hudson apologized for the comments in a statement:

"I said something stupid," he said. "I apologize for it and would apologize in person to anyone hurt by my comments. To those who are understandably offended, you have my deepest apologies, and I want you to know that it was out of character for me and those who know me know that to be a fact. This was a thoughtless remark that does not reflect my lifetime commitment to treating everyone fairly and without bias. I apologize to everyone who is offended by this comment."

When speaking during a political forum, it is probably not wise to talk about how blacks can't swim.