Monday, November 13, 2006


Social conservatives made a lot of noise about this last year. They're going to make an even bigger racket this year.

Already, Wal-Mart has announced it will use "Merry Christmas" in its advertising. The heathens at Best Buy, however, will use the generic:
"We are going to continue to use the term holiday because there are several holidays throughout that time period, and we certainly need to be respectful of all of them," said Dawn Bryant, spokeswoman at Best Buy Co. Inc.
Note to social cons: If you're serious about waging war, there are real ones in Iraq and Afghanistan.


Anonymous said...

Who wants into the pool of predicting the date of Dee Wampler's first annual "Christmas is Under Attack" declaration on local television? (Note: His recent insipid rants to local school authorities about the winter holiday vacation being referred to as something besides "Christmas vacation" do not count. This eruption must be focused on retailing's assault on the Baby Jesus.)

My money says a Wee Dumpling will drop no later than November 22.

Anonymous said...

Bad Santa Wampler doesn't have to advertise like his colleagues because the local media obliges him with regular exposure free gratis.

Anonymous said...

Today Brooker at the Newsleader. Tomorrow attacking Happy Holidayers.
Next month? I'm sure he'll dig up something somewhere that he can point his finger at.

That's the thing about political correctness. And that's exactly what this is; political correctness.

John Stone said...

Anybody out there want this guy as a criminal defense attorney?

Anonymous said...

If my liberty/life's on the line and I need someone who can persuade a jury of 12 randomly selected peckerwoods from someplace like, say, Howell County, you betcha.

He's still a rightwing nutbag, but he serves his purpose.

Anonymous said...

What kind of person a peckerwood is?

Anonymous said...

If you have to ask, there's probably no point in attempting to explain, and a good chance that you might be one yourself.

Busplunge said...

peckerwood: n. Woodpecker. In some parts of Arkansas it refers to rural whites of low origin, comparable to the white trash of the Deep South. Dialect Notes, V (1927), 426.

Source: Down in the Holler, A Gallery of Ozark Folk Speech. Vance Randolph & George P. Wilson.
University of Oklahoma Press: Norman, copyright 1953.

Busplunge said...

And other one:

The Schoolhouse Door (This Mornin')

A peckerwood pecked on the schoolhouse door,
Pecked and pecked till his pecker got sore.
Then he flew to the church-house bell,
And pecked and pecked till his pecker got well.

Then he flew to the grocery store,
Where he pecked and pecked, and pecked some more.
He sh*t on the coffee and he sh*t on the tea,
If I hadn't moved over, he'd of sh*t on me.

Sung as above by Mr. G.P., Reeds Spring, Missouri, March 4, 1947, who learned iat from a man in Greene County, Missouri.
"Peckerwood" is here to be taken literally, as meaning a woodpecker, though it also refers, in the Ozarks, to a hillbilly, or crude peasan presumably from the backwoods or uplands. In stanza 1, lines 3-4, the touch of the "church-house bell" curing the peckerwood's hurt pecker (also to be understood as meaning his penis), is a not-very well disguised mockery of pretended religious miracles and cures.

Source: Roll Me in Your Arms, "Unprintable" Ozark Folksongs and Folklore, Volume 1.
Vance Randolph. University of Arkansas Press: Fayetteville, 1992.


Way down south in Arkansaw,
Peckerwood ***ked his mother-in-law;
The judge he says, It ain't no sin,
Because them peckerwoods ain't no kin.....

Fragment song sung by Mr. J.H., Joplin, Missouri, July 12, 1924. It was part of a long "ditty," he said, that used to be popular at Pea Ridge, Arkansas. In 1:2, peckerwood, a "hillbilly," also a woodpecker; 1:4; "ain't no kin," the meaning being that the mountain "hillbillies" don't bother to get married anhow, which works out as a brillant evasion of the laws against incest, or marriages within forbidden limits of consanquinity. The tune is "Ta-ra-ra-Boom-de-ay!"

Source: Blow the Candle Out, "Unprintable Ozark Folksongs and Folklore, Volume II, Folk Rhymes and Other Lore, Vance Randolph. The University of Arkansas Press: Fayetteville, 1992.

Busplunge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Busplunge said...

forgot to add .pdf

Anonymous said...

Here in the Ozarks, a Peckerwood is also used to describe someone who steals firewood someone else has cut and split.

Anonymous said...

It's exactly about being politically-correct. This shouldn't even BE an issue.

Don't like hearing the phrase "Merry Christmas"? Then don't listen to it.

Anonymous said...

Don't like the hearing the phrase "Happy Holidays"?
Then don't listen to it.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to say "Merry Christmas, Peckerwood!"

Anonymous said...

To many wars to keep up with. I haven't even got my war on Thanksgiving battle gear ready yet.

Anonymous said...

"Go Ahead. Make my holiday."

-Clint Peckerwood

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:38,
Whether you're M or J, thanks for making my day (HA HA HA HA). Now get back to work.

Anonymous said...

Oh. So it is offensive?

Anonymous said...

It shouldn't be offensive. Some people just have to stir things up for no good reason.

It's "Christmas". Big whoop. Get over it. Go celebrate Kwanzaa or Festivus, if it makes you feel better.

Matter o' fact, I'm setting up a Festivus pole this year, right next to the tree. One of those funky aluminum trees. Gotta love garage sales. Got a disco ball, too.