OBSCENE GESTURE LEADS TO SHOOTING

Tracey Grissom and her ex-husband, Hunter Grissom, were not the perfect couple. Less than two years ago she accused him of raping her.

Earlier this month the 30-year-old Grissom was driving to work when she saw the ex at a boat landing. She got out of her car to take a picture "for litigation related to their divorce."

And according to the Georgia Daily News, that's when things went bad:

(The sheriff) says several witnesses watched as the man made an obscene gesture and the woman opened fire around 8 a.m. (on May 15).
Authorities say the woman called 911 after using all her ammunition and told them she shot her ex-husband.

All her ammunition. She apparently made sure.

The couple have a four-year-old daughter.

WORTH YOUR EYEBALLS

"Ah," as Ed Peaco is known to say — something good to read. Ed's blog, The Wine-Jazz Nexus, is outstanding. Give it a whirl and see if you don't concur.

And when you do, don't forget to yell "Bem!" Ed would approve.

NOM NOM NOM, FACE

A follow to our post about the face-eating naked guy in Miami who refused to stop munching and was shot dead by cops.

Our friends at Gawker have published what may be some photos of the victim. Given that much of his face became a snack for a wack, it isn't pretty. But God, so graphic!

Click at your own peril.

HUCKABEE AS ROMNEY'S VEEP?

So goes the speculation among some Republican faithful, who think Mitt Romney needs Mike Huckabee, the preacher from Arkansas, to help sway social conservatives from hating on the Mormon.

As RCP opines:

(Huckabee), the winner of the 2008 Iowa caucuses, remains one of the most popular and well-recognized conservatives nationwide, and his decision not to launch a second presidential run removed what might have been Romney’s toughest competitor on the road to the Republican nomination. 

Thus far, most GOP strategists assume that the urgency to defeat President Obama will negate any conservatives’ thoughts about staying home in November. Romney’s primary concern over the next five months, this dominant line of thinking goes, is to make headway with the narrow slice of the electorate who can be won by either candidate. 

With that in mind, Huckabee backers are quick to draw attention to the former Arkansas governor’s affable demeanor, lack of pretention, and his up-from-the-bootstraps personal story, all of which might soften Romney’s image and make the GOP ticket more relatable to blue-collar independents.

Or it could just piss off social conservatives who already think Romney is nothing but a light-skinned Barack Obama (the people who run Free Republic have long been anti-Romney and keep making noises about leaving the top of the ticket blank come Election Day).

We don't think it will come to that — the Freepers' hatred of Obama runs deep — but watch out for Mike Huckabee. We were struck by the fact that in 2008 he never mouthed off about Bill or Hillary Clinton. Maybe it was the Arkansas connection writ large.

WANTED: OBAMA'S COLLEGE TRANSCRIPTS

President Obama's detractors have tried to smear him as a Kenya-born interloper. Failing that, they've now turned their sights on what they think is another weak front: Obama's college transcripts.

According to The Los Angeles Times:

Last week, a website that already had offered a $10,000 reward for Obama's transcripts from Occidental College, Columbia University and Harvard Law School, increased the bounty to $20,000.

About a year ago, Donald Trump, among the highest-profile "birthers," helped get the mini-movement started. After the president released his long-form birth certificate, Trump abruptly changed subjects: 

"The word is, according to what I’ve read," said Trump, "that he was a terrible student when he went to Occidental. He then gets into Columbia; he then gets to Harvard. ... How do you get into Harvard if you’re not a good student? Now maybe that's right or maybe it’s wrong, but I don't know why he doesn’t release his records."

Of course, he was editor of the Harvard Law Review. Not bad for a guy who allegedly faked his way through school.

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BEGINS IN MIAMI

So this is how it begins.

Police in Miami, Fla., shot and killed a man who was eating the face of another man on a causeway ramp.

Yeah. Seriously. According to the Miami Herald:

"A road ranger saw a naked man chewing on another man’s face and shouted on his loud speaker for him to back away.Meanwhile, a woman also saw the incident and flagged down a police officer who was in the area. 

The officer, who has not been identified, approached and, seeing what was happening, also ordered the naked man to back away. When he continued the assault, the officer shot him, police sources said. The attacker failed to stop after being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots."

The coppers are blaming cocaine, of course, because they don't want us to know the truth.

31 YEARS ON THE LAM

Weird-ass story of the day, out of Rhode Island: man escaped from a prison in South Carolina on Christmas Day 1980. He is arrested in Rhode Island.

His crime:

He was sentenced to 11 months in prison in November 1980 for domestic non-payment of child support.

This scofflaw had to be taken down by "members of the state police violent fugitive task force."

Armin Christian, 65, is being extradited to South Carolina to face the consequences. You can breathe easier now. A very bad, bad man is back behind bars.

LED ZEPPELIN II, 64

He was born George Blackburn, but he changed his name after a divorce last year to honor the band, and to get a fresh start.

Wasn't much of a start. Blackburn died in Illinois of a heart attack. He was 64.

EMBROIDERED KANYE

Two words: FREAKING FABULOUS. Get your favorite Kanye West tweet embroidered. Hat tip to Carrie, so follow her on Twitter (you'll find her @tatgalqueencity). The CHATTER Fourth of July (screw waiting for Christmas) wish list is now complete.

THE MORNING NEWS MEETING

The KSPR brains trust meets to plot the news agenda. This is your vast media conspiracy, kids.

EUGENE POLLEY, 96

The man who made us lazy is dead.

Eugene Polley invented a little thing called the remote control back in 1955 for Zenith. Before his gadget became the norm, people actually had to get their asses out of the chair or off the couch to change the channel (back in L.A. in the pre-cable days, we had five, count 'em, five channels to enjoy).

As a result, asses weren't so gargantuan, and channel-flipping wasn't so fun.

TAKE THIS, ALL OF YOU, AND EAT FROM IT

Addie brought cupcakes from the Cake Pop Company, so all is good with the world. First day back at the Paragraph Factory and people have been nice. Terra brought roses and clematis from her garden. Even got a hug from Joel, the Man Known As Gridiron. What have I done to deserve this?

AS SEEN FROM SPACE

Not many people get to hang out on Bouganville Island in Papau, New Guinea. Bagana, the volcano, is active.

And apparently spewing, according to NASA. This new satellite photo shows it happening.

HOW TIME FLIES

Stumbled across this post from June 2007 about the 15th anniversary of the Three Missing Women. "The next time we hear about (them) ... will be June 2012," we wrote back then.

And here we are.

ROBIN GIBB, 62

Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees, dead at 62. There goes that Bee Gees reunion.

INCESTUOUS BLOGGING

Act Your Old Age disses CHATTER. I love me. We hate us. Huh?

PAGING BONNIE TYLER

The partial solar eclipse is Sunday. We lucky few in the Ozarks get clouds and a peak that happens after sunset, so ... meh.

Console yourself with some Bonnie Tyler and those weird kids with glowing eyes. Further proof that the 1980s spawned some fucked-up ideas. Turn around, bright eyes.

WRINKLE ON THIS

Another cross-post from Act Your Old Age. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And against the ravages of time.

CROSS PIMPING

Keeping the CHATTER audience informed of the place where the boy does more than typing: the latest post on the Act Your Old Age blog. Have you ever wished to meet your destiny, only to realize later that you really should be careful what you wish for? We have.

HOLA, DORITO

The TV news producer known as Dori is in Springfield this day, and having been lucky enough to work with her once, we welcome her too-seldom visit with open arms. Plus, it's a chance to eat tacos and pimp the KSPR St. Jude Dream Home. How lucky can a girl get?

BURYING THE LEDE

The Associated Press reports Loretta Lynn was 15 — not 13 — when she got married, "an age change that undermines the story she told" in "Coal Miner's Daughter."

Egads.

We're more upset The AP waited nine grafs before including this scary factoid:

The Grammy-award winning singer recently announced that ("Coal Miner's Daughter") will become a Broadway musical starring actress and singer Zooey Deschanel.

Lynn's spokesperson told The AP the singer said it's "none of their business" how old she is. By most accounts, she's 77. The new documents show she's 80.

The AP also helpfully notes that Lynn is not "the first celebrity of a certain age to be less than forthcoming about a birthday." Imagine that.

STARSKY BUSTED FOR WEED

Actor Paul Michael Glasser — who played cop David Starsky in the bad '70s show "Starsky & Hutch" — has been busted for weed in Kentucky.

From the Bowling Green (heh) Daily News:

Glaser was in Bowling Green on May 10 promoting his young adult fantasy novel, “Chrystallia and the Source of Light,” which was released last fall. He read to children at Moss Middle School and Bowling Green Junior High School. He also spoke at the Warren County Public Library. The book is about a girl and her brother who are about to lose their mother and their house. It’s their last Christmas together, and the children discover an underground world of crystals and minerals. Glaser told students at both schools that he based the story on his own life experiences and interests. He lost his first wife and a daughter to AIDS.

Glaser said it was medical marijuana from California, where he's got a 'script. He faces 45 days in jail.

WHO FIRED THE HOUSEKEEPER?

Man, the dust in this place really built up over the past (nearly) three years. That's the last time we hire legal citizens to do the cleaning. From now on it's all undocumented workers and sketchy homeless people.

Hiya. We've decided to kickstart this old house after a lengthy 'net coma because some events in our recent past (as documented here in the Act Your Old Age blog) suggest we need to get back to living, and fast. The spiffy AYOA condo is meant more for writing; CHATTER will resume its normal programming of this, that and the other thing — a sort of Seinfeld hodge-podge of everything about nothing, which it's been since its start back in 1991 (yes, this blog was born as a daily column in something called a newspaper, an arcane and nearly extinct form of media that was printed on actual paper by tree-hugging liberal types who didn't see the delicious hypocrisy of killing trees to make their bones).

Since that time in the black-and-white days, CHATTER has gone on to dress up and be part of a magazine, and then went all downscale to guest-host an alt-monthly tabloid called THE PULP, before segueing onto the net in 2006 and becoming a go-to place for stalkers and gawkers to try to discern what the hell the Chatterboy was trying to say. We have a hint for you: It's like Gertrude Stein said — there is no there, there. Anyone seeking deeper meaning from a blog called CHATTER needs to locate a life. This place is the equivalent of Springfield-style cashew chicken: it won't kill you, but if you're looking for fine dining, might we suggest Flame?

There's your background. Thanks for stopping by. We'll be renovating the blogroll and updating the curtains in the next few days, so if you have any suggestions, drop us a comment. We'll do our level best to post the bizarre shit that's always been our sweet tooth. Be safe.