COPS: "A MIND-ALTERING DRUG SUCH AS BATH SALTS"

The Drug War hysteria continues. Remember crack cocaine and how every baby born to a crack addict would be a worthless throw-away to society? Or how anyone who used methamphetamines would be hopelessly, immediately addicted?

"Bath salts" is the new hype. In Pulaski County, Mo., this fella — Devon Michael Cardin, 20 — is charged with felony resisting arrest, and it's all because of evil, evil, bath salts. From a sheriff's office news release:

(The) subject who had failed to appear in court on a felony charge of receiving stolen property. Since he had failed to appear the warrant was a no bond allowed warrant. The additional officers were included because he had fled into the woods behind the home the first time the deputies attempted to serve the warrant. At approximately 7:33am on June 8, 2012, the deputies and Troopers confronted the suspect inside the home and the suspect immediately assaulted the officers. He was subdued with the aid of a Taser unit. The suspect appeared to be under the influence of a mind altering drug such as Bath Salts. During the fight one Trooper sustained a minor wound to his arm.

Cardin's being held on $50,000 bond. Surprised he didn't eat someone's face.

STARSKY BUSTED FOR WEED

Actor Paul Michael Glasser — who played cop David Starsky in the bad '70s show "Starsky & Hutch" — has been busted for weed in Kentucky.

From the Bowling Green (heh) Daily News:

Glaser was in Bowling Green on May 10 promoting his young adult fantasy novel, “Chrystallia and the Source of Light,” which was released last fall. He read to children at Moss Middle School and Bowling Green Junior High School. He also spoke at the Warren County Public Library. The book is about a girl and her brother who are about to lose their mother and their house. It’s their last Christmas together, and the children discover an underground world of crystals and minerals. Glaser told students at both schools that he based the story on his own life experiences and interests. He lost his first wife and a daughter to AIDS.

Glaser said it was medical marijuana from California, where he's got a 'script. He faces 45 days in jail.

SNIFFING DRANO, MAKING METH

Police in Buford, Ark., bust an 18-year-old who'd allegedly been sniffing Drano and guzzling booze. Too bad he forgot about the handwritten meth recipe -- and crystal-making ingredients -- also in the house.

From the KSPR story:

A sheriff's deputy says Ball was "huffing Drano and consuming a large amount of alcohol."

"While at the residence, which belongs to the man’s parents who assisted with the investigation, the deputy observed several substances commonly used in the manufacturing of methamphetamine, as well as a handwritten 'recipe' for cooking methamphetamine," the Baxter County Sheriff's Office said in a news release.

Huffing Drano?

WINEHOUSE BEING WINEHOUSE

Singer Amy Winehouse has made it back to her natural habitat. As Reuters reports:

The 25-year-old Grammy winner was admitted to a clinic after falling ill on Sunday and has been kept there for tests. Winehouse was taken to hospital for a similar complaint in July.

Winehouse reportedly "reacted badly to medication." We like the sound of that.

ALBERT HOFMANN, 102

Died Tuesday of a heart attack at his home.

He discovered lysergic acid diethylamide.

From the Los Angels Times' obit:

On Friday afternoon, April 16, 1943, Hofmann had just completed synthesizing a new batch when, he subsequently wrote his supervisor, "I was forced to interrupt my work in the laboratory in the middle of the afternoon and proceed home, being affected by a remarkable restlessness, combined with slight dizziness.

"At home, I lay down and sank into a not-unpleasant intoxicated-like condition, characterized by an extremely stimulated imagination. In a dreamlike state I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures, extraordinary shapes with intense, kaleidoscopic play of colors. After some two hours, this condition faded away."

Hofmann suspected that the state had been caused by something in the lab. In an interview on his 100th birthday, he said, "I didn't know what caused it, but I knew that it was important." ...

The following Monday, he took what he considered to be an extremely small dose of LSD, so small that a similar dose of even the most powerful toxin known at the time would have had little or no effect. He had planned to gradually increase the dosage, but instead was surprised to encounter the first bad acid trip.

Feeling bad, he asked his laboratory assistant to accompany him home on his bicycle, no cars being available because of wartime restrictions. During the trip, "I had the feeling that I could not move from the spot. I was cycling, cycling, but the time seemed to stand still." ...

Hofmann thought he was dying and sent for a doctor, but the physician could find nothing wrong.

After about six hours, the experience began to change into a pleasant one. "After some time, with my eyes closed, I began to enjoy this wonderful play of colors and forms, which it really was a pleasure to observe. Then I went to sleep and the next day I was fine. I felt quite fresh, like a newborn."

I knew that it was important. Marvelous.

HAPPY 420

For those of you so inclined, grab an Icee and enjoy the holiday. For those not so inclined, there is always the beer bong. Luck to you.

TIME FLIES

Twenty years ago today we were in Louisiana, covering the downfall of Assemblies of God preacher Jimmy Swaggart.

Fourteen years ago today we left work in a haze of depression and spent the afternoon on a purple leather couch with Wing and Henry, watching MTV's coverage of Kurt Cobain's death.

We felt old and wise then. Any similar feelings now are blunted by the knowledge that we were so wrong then, at least when it came to being wise.

Hello. How low?

RITALIN, KID CRIME LINKED

Kids who take Ritalin for a long time may be more likely to turn into punks on dope. According to this Daily Telegraph report:

An American study -- published in the Medical Observer -- has found that while drugs such as Ritalin can initially help sufferers, the benefit of prolonged use is in doubt. Some children stay on medication until they reach 18, but researchers believe it may not protect them from all the symptoms.

The US Multimodal Treatment Study of Children revealed the more days of prescribed medication, the more serious delinquency became.

In a cohort of 500 children with ADHD -- followed for 36 months until they were 12 -- researchers found 27 per cent were at a greater risk of committing crime, compared with 7 per cent among "normative" children. Substance use also increased to 17 per cent in ADHD children -- almost double the normal rate.

More substance abuse among kids who've been told they must take drugs to feel better. Couldn't see that one coming.

JUDGES CAN FINALLY JUDGE

Russell Clark was a federal judge when he called us in for a chat, more than a decade ago. He wanted to talk about drugs. Crack cocaine, to be specific.

Clark had to sentence several young gang members to federal prison for selling crack in Springfield. He had no say, no input in the sentences; federal sentencing guidelines called for specific punishments. If Clark pulled a downward deviation -- going below the guidelines -- the U.S. attorney would immediately appeal and a new judge would impose what the prosecutor wanted.

Clark was especially anguished because crack sentences were much harsher than those handed out for powder cocaine sales. It's still that way. Crack is a 100-to-one drug. Sell one ounce of crack, get the same sentence you would for selling 100 ounces of powder.

The judge thought the guidelines and crack sentences were wrong. He thought that what he was doing was madness. "But I have no choice," Clark said.

The world became a little less insane on Monday. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that judges can use their discretion when issuing sentences. And the high court made it clear that harsher sentences for crack are wack.

Linda Greenhouse's piece in The New York Times is a must-read for anyone wanting to understand the issue. The essence:

It is now clear that while judges should consult the guidelines, they are just one factor among others and do not carry any special weight. It is also clear that an appeals court must have a very good reason of its own to displace the trial judge’s judgment.

Russell Clark died in 2003. He would have enjoyed Monday's decisions.

WORTH STRIPPING?

Marion Jones was a star and a hero. She won five medals -- including three golds -- in the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, Australia.

Turns out she cheated, and now her medals will probably be taken away. She's expected to plead guilty on Friday to lying to the feds about using performance-enhancing drugs. According to The New York Times:

Ms. Jones, 31 ... would become the first athlete convicted in the cases arising out of the four-year Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative investigation that has fueled a continuing series of steroid scandals in sports. Five men who manufactured, marketed or supplied the drugs to athletes have pleaded guilty, and three of them have served time in prison.

Ms. Jones is expected to plead guilty to one count of making false statements to federal agents about her use of performance-enhancing drugs and one count of making false statements to federal agents in connection with a separate check fraud case, the lawyers said.

She'll reportedly do three months in stir. She's also broke, according to The Times. And Barry Bonds is still walking around.

GABBA GABBA THIS

Check out this thread, with its bizarre publicity photo, and tell us that execs at Nickelodeon are not gobbling massive amounts of prime pharm product.

The show Yo Gabba Gabba launched Monday on Nick Jr., the place where little kids yell at the TV screen because they're under orders from Dora and the guy with Blue. Elijah Wood was the guest host. Make of this what you will.

Nick describes YGG thisaway:

Yo Gabba Gabba! is a fun live-action program for young children ages 1 and up. Join our host DJ Lance Rock as he introduces us to friendly toy monsters in a magical land full of music, dance, colorful cartoons, and simple life lessons that will get you and your children up off the floor to learn and dance along. Just say the magic words! YO GABBA GABBA!!

Thirty years after "Pinhead", the words "gabba gabba" still mean only one thing -- time to put on some Ramones.

#756

Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's home-run record late Tuesday, with a fifth-inning shot off Washington's Mike Bacsik. The Associated Press has the story. Thirty-three years after his own record-setting homer, Aaron offered a taped message of congratulations.

BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY

Barry Bonds tied Hank Aaron's home-run record on Saturday, smacking a 382-foot homer in San Diego.

It's clear he's a cheater, but does that even matter anymore?

POLITICIANS TACKLE WRESTLING

Two congressmen want records from World Wrestling Entertainment. More fallout from the Chris Benoit case. ESPN reports:

In a three-page letter dated Friday, Rep. Henry Waxman, the chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, and Tom Davis, its ranking minority member, asked McMahon to provide a series of documents intended to give the committee and its investigation a detailed look at WWE's drug-testing policy, including information about the results of performance-enhancing drug tests on pro wrestlers.

"The tragic deaths of World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Benoit and his family have raised questions about reports of widespread use of steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs by professional wrestlers," the congressmen wrote.

"These allegations -- which include first-hand reports of steroid use by prominent former wrestlers -- have swirled around the WWE for over a decade. Investigations by journalists have described a culture of performance-enhancing drug use in professional wrestling, high fatality rates among young professional wrestlers, and an inability or unwillingness of WWE to address these problems."

Vince McMahon, boss of WWE, has until Aug. 24 to comply with the congressional request.

MMM ... GUATEMALAN INSANITY PEPPERS

In honor of this week's Simpsons movie, we point you to 10 Zen Monkeys and its recap of "the six trippiest scenes from The Simpsons."

Best one: When Homer eats Guatemalan Insanity Peppers and receives wisdom from a coyote voiced by Johnny Cash. More, please.

LOHAN BUSTED AGAIN

Lindsay Lohan was busted early Tuesday for driving drunk. According to The Associated Press:

Police in Santa Monica, California pulled her over after they say they saw Lohan's car chasing another.

Police gave Lohan a field sobriety test and then took her to the station.

She was booked on suspicion of D-U-I, driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine. They say they found coke in one of her pants pockets.

Lohan had just finished Round Two in rehab.

TOOK FOREVER TO PUT OUT

Firefighters in Edinburg, Texas, spent a long time putting out a warehouse fire this week. Nearly three dozen professionals battled the blaze that burned up 2,000 pounds of marijuana.

The Associated Press reports:

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents were investigating the origin of the drugs. The Hidalgo County fire marshal was investigating whether arson was the cause.

Fire Chief Shawn Snider said Thursday the firefighters were exposed to so much marijuana smoke that they would not be able to pass a drug test, despite wearing air packs to prevent them from inhaling toxic or hazardous fumes.

Or so the firefighters told the chief.

SMACK-SNORTING MOM BUSTED

Stacy Roe will not win this year's Mom of the Year award. The 35-year-old mother from Farmingville, N.Y., was arrested over the weekend at a Wal-Mart, pushing her 3-year-old son in a shopping cart while simultaneously snorting heroin.

The New York Post reports:

Security at the Centereach store called 911. Cops responded, viewed the video and approached the woman while she was still in the store.

Roe admitted that she was using heroin and that she had a small glassine envelope of the drug inside her purse, police said.

She told cops she was addicted to Vicodin and was unable to obtain more of the painkillers - forcing her to turn to heroin, Suffolk County Police Sgt. Todd Barone said.

Ah, sweet sweet Vicodin. Roe was ticketed and posted $100 bond. She's due back in court on July 17.

RIP, BRADLEY NOWELL

Bradley Nowell died 11 years ago Friday, and perhaps your response is: Who?

The musician and singer fronted a little band called Sublime. The band from Long Beach, Calif., smashed punk and reggae into something delicious; its CD, Sublime, was a mainstay in our soundtrack, especially while we were creating a magazine with Mike Wingo.

Nowell was already long gone by then. Sublime's major-label debut was released a couple months after he was found dead of a heroin overdose. Another sweet little Pisces man, laid low by smack. What a waste.

What I really wanna say is there's just one way back.
And I'll make it,
But my soul will have to wait.

COP STEALS WEED, MAKES BROWNIES

Edward Sanchez used to be a cop in Dearborn, Mich. But that changed after he started pilfering drugs in police custody -- and using them.

According to the Detroit Free Press:

The department's investigation began with a bizarre 911 call from Sanchez's home in Dearborn Heights. On the night of April 21, 2006, a panicky Sanchez told an emergency dispatcher he thought he and his wife were overdosing on marijuana.

"I think we're dying," he said in the 5-minute tape, obtained under the Michigan Freedom of Information Act.

"We made brownies and I think we're dead, I really do," Sanchez continued ...

When later questioned by police investigators, Sanchez said his wife took the marijuana out of his police vehicle while he was sleeping, and she told investigators she tricked him into eating a pot-laced brownie.

"Cpl. Sanchez was insistent that he would never ingest marijuana or any narcotics intentionally," an investigator wrote.

But in a subsequent interview, Sanchez acknowledged he fetched the marijuana from his car, put it in the brownie batter, and ate the brownies.

Sanchez also said he took the marijuana "off the street from unknown persons," investigators wrote.

Sanchez's wife, Stacy, also admitted to taking cocaine from hubby's cop car and tooting it away during a three-week binge.

The charges against Eddie and Stacy Sanchez? None. He was allowed to quit the police force without being charged with a crime. Dearborn police say he resigned during an internal investigation.