HUCKABEE AS ROMNEY'S VEEP?

So goes the speculation among some Republican faithful, who think Mitt Romney needs Mike Huckabee, the preacher from Arkansas, to help sway social conservatives from hating on the Mormon.

As RCP opines:

(Huckabee), the winner of the 2008 Iowa caucuses, remains one of the most popular and well-recognized conservatives nationwide, and his decision not to launch a second presidential run removed what might have been Romney’s toughest competitor on the road to the Republican nomination. 

Thus far, most GOP strategists assume that the urgency to defeat President Obama will negate any conservatives’ thoughts about staying home in November. Romney’s primary concern over the next five months, this dominant line of thinking goes, is to make headway with the narrow slice of the electorate who can be won by either candidate. 

With that in mind, Huckabee backers are quick to draw attention to the former Arkansas governor’s affable demeanor, lack of pretention, and his up-from-the-bootstraps personal story, all of which might soften Romney’s image and make the GOP ticket more relatable to blue-collar independents.

Or it could just piss off social conservatives who already think Romney is nothing but a light-skinned Barack Obama (the people who run Free Republic have long been anti-Romney and keep making noises about leaving the top of the ticket blank come Election Day).

We don't think it will come to that — the Freepers' hatred of Obama runs deep — but watch out for Mike Huckabee. We were struck by the fact that in 2008 he never mouthed off about Bill or Hillary Clinton. Maybe it was the Arkansas connection writ large.

KEY OF THE BOTTOMLESS PIT

For a little night reading, few things are better than Revelation. Acid without the blotter's metallic aftertaste, and just as challenging.

And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains;

And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:

For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?

Just wait till the wormwood hits the river. You'll be begging for a flaying.

DISSING GOD, VERMONT STYLE

A Gallup poll shows a state-by-state breakdown of belief in religion, and Vermont is in trouble if there's really a lake of fire.

According to the poll, only 42 percent of people in Vermont say religion is an important part of their lives.

In case you're wondering:

-- Missouri ranked 15th in the nation in religious belief. Almost seven in 10 Missourians -- 68 percent, to be precise -- said religion is important in their lives.

-- In Arkansas, 78 percent of people professed to be true believers.

-- For all the hype, godless California ain't so godless. Fifty-seven percent of Californians gave a fervent shout-out to Big G, who has already returned the favor.

Proclaiming the importance of religion to a pollster doesn't guarantee accuracy, but the poll is worth some thinking.

THE SOUND OF ONE HAND

The Passion for Christ Movement has given us a great gift idea for Christmas 2009.

Order this shirt and wear it proudly. Give yourself a hand.

DOTTIE RAMBO, 74

Gospel songwriter, singer. Died Sunday when her tour bus wrecked on Interstate 44, just east of Mount Vernon, Mo. Severe storms could have contributed to the crash. The Associated Press reports:

Rambo, of Nashville, Tenn., was on her way to a Mother's Day performance in Texas, according to her Web site.

"She was a giant in the gospel music industry," said Beckie Simmons, Rambo's agent. "Dolly Parton recorded some of her songs."

Parton sent condolences to "everyone involved in this terrible tragedy."

"I know Dottie is in heaven in the arms of God right now, but our earth angel will surely be missed," Parton said in a statement. "Dottie was a dear friend, a fellow singer, songwriter and entertainer, and as of late my duet singing partner."

Rambo was inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame last year and the Kentucky Music Hall of Fame in 2006.

Rambo wrote the 1982 Gospel Music Association Song of the Year, "We Shall Behold Him."

TIME FLIES

Twenty years ago today we were in Louisiana, covering the downfall of Assemblies of God preacher Jimmy Swaggart.

Fourteen years ago today we left work in a haze of depression and spent the afternoon on a purple leather couch with Wing and Henry, watching MTV's coverage of Kurt Cobain's death.

We felt old and wise then. Any similar feelings now are blunted by the knowledge that we were so wrong then, at least when it came to being wise.

Hello. How low?

BORN FOR POLITICS

The two-faced baby, of course -- the one born in India, where God knows what's in the water (a couple years ago, a baby was born in Bihar with four arms and four legs).

As the Telegraph reports:

The four-day old baby girl, born to Vinod Singh and his partner Sushma, is already being hailed as a reincarnation of the Indian God Ganesha.

Sushma gave birth to the 'miracle' child in the Gautam Buddha Nagar district of Uttar Pradesh, 50 kilometres north east of New Dehli.

As news of her birth spread through the secluded rural village where her family reside, local residents began singing and dancing and asking for her blessings.

According to the doctor at the hospital, the baby girl and her mother are both in good health.

If one overlooks the baby's two faces.

OBAMA REV'S RHETORIC

The Rev. Jeremiah Wright led the Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago for decades, and during that time he befriended plenty of the flock, including Barack and Michelle Obama.

He married the Obamas and baptized their two daughters. Obama used Wright's turn of the phrase "the audacity of hope" and turned it into a book title.

Wright is now radioactive. ABC News reports:

In a campaign appearance earlier this month, Sen. Obama said, "I don't think my church is actually particularly controversial." He said Rev. Wright "is like an old uncle who says things I don't always agree with," telling a Jewish group that everyone has someone like that in their family. ...

"The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America.' No, no, no, God damn America, that's in the Bible for killing innocent people," [Wright] said in a 2003 sermon. "God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme."

Dayum. Sen. John McCain was skewered for his embrace of John Hagee. Is this political parity?

GORDON B. HINCKLEY, 97

Leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Died Sunday. According to the Salt Lake Tribune:

Hinckley's life spanned the 20th century, a time marked by LDS global outreach and technological advances. Hie saw his church evolve from a tiny sect in the Intermountain West to a respected religious movement with more than 13 million members worldwide. He embraced each new communication device, from radio to satellite to YouTube, as a chance to spread the Mormon word.

He began his career in the 1930s as a missionary defending the faith on a soapbox in London's Hyde Park and lived to see the country's first viable Mormon candidate for president.

Through it all, Hinckley worked tirelessly to gain acceptance for his church on the world's stage. "We are not a weird people," Hinckley told Mike Wallace in a 1995 "60 Minutes" interview. With the shrewdness of a politician, Hinckley downplayed the more controversial aspects of LDS history.

He welcomed the world to Utah for the 2002 Olympic Winter Games, promising everyone they could get a drink here and accepted one of America's highest honors -- the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Became the church's 15th president in March 1995, when he was 84 years old.

TAMMY FAYE BAKKER, 65

Labeled as the "emotive evangelist" by The New York Times. Death came just days after she appeared on Larry King and scared the hell out of small children (as Larry does on a nightly basis).

Who gets the point?

Fat Jack wins with notification at 7:54 p.m. Saturday, followed by Brother Richard and Desdinova at 8:39, Bus Plunge at 8:56, Matt L. at 9:01, Gentle Whisper at 1:24 a.m.

BELIEF OR BIGOTRY?

Or both? Ted Doudak, president of Riva Jewelry Manufacturing in Queens, N.Y., reportedly quoted the Bible around the office. One of his employees, John Fairchild, said Doudak talked about gays and lesbians being "repulsive."

One day, Fairchild mentioned that his daughter is a lesbian -- and by the way, he's gay. The next day he was fired, Fairchild said.

Fairchild sued. A judge ruled that he can quiz Doudak about his religious beliefs. The New York Daily News reports:

Fairchild's lawyer, William Kaiser, sought to quiz Doudak about his religious beliefs before trial, asking if Doudak "believes that 'homosexuality is a sin against God' ... believes that 'gays and lesbians are doomed to eternal damnation' ... [or] regards homosexuals as 'repulsive.'"

[Doudak's attorney, Todd] Krakower said that being forced to answer those questions would violate Doudak's First Amendment rights, and Fairchild would try to use Doudak's beliefs as proof he intended to illegally discriminate.

Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Carol Edmead last month ordered Doudak to answer, saying no one can use their right to religious freedom "as a cloak for acts of discrimination or as a justification of [discriminatory] practices."

Doudak has every right to his beliefs. He just can't use them to discriminate against another human being.

For a unique perspective from historians on gay discrimination in the U.S., click here. It's not as age-old an issue as you might think.

YOUR DOG'S GAY, TOO

Some people who condemn homosexuality as purely nurture-based behavior have, in past, been stymied by evidence that many animals engage in same-sex relations.

But they've found a new argument. Robert A.J. Gagnon, an associate professor at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, outlines it for LifeSite:

"I never used my dear departed dog 'Cocoa' and her instinctive sexual habits as a basis for determining what is 'natural' behavior. You can find animals of various species where some part of the population at least practices incest, pedophilia, extreme polyamory, and cross-species sex, along with same-sex activity."

You forgot cannibalism, Bob.

RUTH GRAHAM, 87

The wife of the Rev. Billy Graham was his "life partner." According to The Associated Press:

In a statement, Billy Graham says he and Ruth "were called by God as a team" and that his ministry "would have been impossible without her encouragement and support."

The 88-year-old evangelist says, "I will miss her terribly, and look forward even more to the day I can join her in Heaven."

The family plans a private interment ceremony and a public memorial service.

Matt Lyons clocks in first with the news, with Brother Richard coming in close behind.

OUR FUTURE LEADERS

Congratulations to the winners of this year's science fair at Pawleys Island Christian Academy in South Carolina. The school expects excellence from its students, and they have apparently met that expectation.

According to this account in the Georgetown Times:

Brian Benson, an eighth-grade student who won first place in the Life Science/Biology category for his project “Creation Wins!!!,” says he disproved part of the theory of evolution. Using a rolled-up paper towel suspended between two glasses of water with Epsom Salts, the paper towel formed stalactites. He states that the theory that they take millions of years to develop is incorrect.

“Scientists say it takes millions of years to form stalactites,” Benson said. “However, in only a couple of hours, I have formed stalactites just by using paper towel and Epsom Salts.”

Finally, proof that we did not evolve from stalactites.

ROMNEY DUCKS, WEAVES (AGAIN)

Mitt Romney is, oddly, a lot like Bill Clinton -- handsome, charming, undeniably charismatic. And too glib for his own good.

Like Clinton, Romney has a knack for flip-flopping, especially if it can get him votes. As governor of Massachusetts, Romney was all about choice and inclusion. Now that he's running for president, his positions on abortion and gay rights have "modified," to use a polite word.

Last week, the 10 GOP candidates for president were asked about evolution. Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado and Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas all signaled that they don't believe in evolution.

Romney gave no such sign.

Religious conservatives pounced. David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network seems intent on making Romney squirm. He asked Romney's camp about the candidate and evolution and got this response:

"Governor Romney believes both science and faith can help inform us about the origins of life in this world."

Not good enough for religious conservatives. Brody delivers the warning shot:

With all due respect, what does that mean exactly? It leaves me with more questions. I have asked for further clarification which I assume will be forthcoming here at the Brody File. I have now asked the Romney campaign specifically if he believes in Darwin's theory of Evolution or does he take the Creationist view? The answer above suggests that he may believe in both. I'm not saying he does. I'm just saying I'm a tad bit confused by the answer.

Here's the key point. The majority of Born Again Evangelicals take the Creationist viewpoint. Some Evangelicals already have concerns about Romney's Mormon faith. He needs support from Evangelicals to win. That's why this issue is an important one that needs to be cleared up. I don't think this is an issue that Romney can avoid. I believe his views need to be clear.

Question: Is it true that most evangelicals are creationists?

PREDICTING THE RAPTURE

When it's cloudy and rainy, we like to jog over to Rapture Ready and see how close we are to the going-up elevator (as opposed to the weird movie from 1991 starring Mimi Rogers).

The RR people keep something called the Rapture Index; it purportedly measures world events and comes up with a formula -- an RPI without tall guys or March Madness.

The Rapture Index stands at 157 this week, down a couple points in recent days but still way off the mark set on Sept. 24, 2001, when the count hit 182 and atheists got ready for more elbow room.

Handy rapture factoid: On Dec. 12, 1993, the Rapture Index dropped to an all-time low of 57. Bill Clinton was in office. Things were relatively positive and peaceful. The rapture was on no horizon. More proof that it's all Clinton's fault.

UNINTELLIGENT, BY DESIGN

Opponents of evolution keep kicking, even after the licking they took in Dover, Penn. Despite the fact that a federal judge ruled "intelligent design" is nothing more than reheated creationism, IDers still insist they be taken seriously by the scientific community.

This week, a professor of internal medicine at the University of Missouri-Columbia became the latest whiner to his cause. John Marshall complained about ID being kicked "off the playing field of science." The Columbia Tribune quotes Marshall:

"[Intelligent Design is] as much science as Darwinian evolution is science. And as a theory, I believe that intelligent design fits the evidence of biology better than Darwinian evolution."

About 100 people attended the forum. Unfortunately for Marshall, many were scientists trained in chemistry and biology. Frank Schmidt, a biochem professor, decided to dispense with pussyfooting. He asked Marshall why "intelligent design" should be considered science when it doesn't even offer a single testable prediction.

The Tribune reported that "Marshall would not directly answer the question."

He couldn't, of course. There is no science in "intelligent design." Instead of knowledge it relies on ignorance. If something in the natural world is too difficult to immediately understand, the ID answer is supernatural: "God did it."

No wonder Schmidt said Marshall's presentation "really hacks me off." It should hack off anyone who uses a brain to think.

NO MORE LIMBO

As a lapsed convert to Roman Catholicism, we're familiar with the concept of limbo, the place where unbaptized babies go when they die because their Original Sin has not been washed away. As a fan of beach parties we're also familiar with the other limbo, but this is neither the time nor place for that conversation.

Pope Benedict is basically telling the faithful that past thinking about limbo (the place, not the dance) is inoperative. A report from the International Theological Commission, a Vatican advisory panel, says we can hope that unbaptized babies won't have to wait on the theological outskirts of Heaven's city limits. Time reports:

Theologians said the move was highly significant, both for what it says about Benedict's willingness to buck a long-standing tenet of Catholic belief and for what it means theologically about the Church's views on heaven, hell and original sin — the sin that the faithful believe all children are born with. Although Catholics have long believed that children who die without being baptized are with original sin and thus excluded from heaven, the Church has no formal doctrine on the matter. Theologians, however, have long taught that such children enjoy an eternal state of perfect natural happiness, a state commonly called limbo, but without being in communion with God.

No limbo, but purgatory still exists. How low can you go?

HEH-HEH, SOUTER SAID 'BONG'

The free-speech case heard this week by the U.S. Supreme Court is styled Morse v. Frederick, but it'll forever be known as the case that got at least four of the nine justices to utter the word "bong."

The skinny: Students leave school, with permission, to watch Olympic torch come through their town. One student unfurls 14-foot banner proclaiming "Bongs Hits 4 Jesus." Principal tears down sign, suspends student for 10 days. Student sues over loss of free speech.

As always, Linda Greenhouse of The New York Times has the definitive account of the arguments. The attorney for the principal and school board was Ken Starr, and he made it all about drugs:

“Illegal drugs and the glorification of the drug culture are profoundly serious problems for our nation.”

Free speech for students doesn't include pro-drug speech, Starr insisted.

The chief justice, John Roberts, was Starr's deputy in the solicitor general’s office. Roberts was understandably sympathetic to his old boss, but went one step over the line and started making throat-clearing noises about stifling more than just pro-bong speech:

“Why is it that the classroom ought to be a forum for political debate simply because the students want to put that on their agenda?” Chief Justice Roberts asked Mr. Starr.

The question was particularly interesting because Mr. Starr had just sought to reassure the court that his argument was not limitless. The court’s leading precedent on student speech, a 1969 decision called Tinker v. Des Moines School District, “articulates a baseline of political speech” that students have a presumptive right to engage in, Mr. Starr said.

Riding to the rescue of the free speechers was Sam Alito. After hearing the government argue that a school “does not have to tolerate a message that is inconsistent” with its mission of education, Alito replied:

“I find that a very, very disturbing argument, because schools have defined their educational mission so broadly that they can suppress all sorts of political speech and speech expressing fundamental values of the students under the banner of getting rid of speech that’s inconsistent with educational missions.”

Agreement with Alito? Jesus, feels like a bong hit.

'INTELLECTUAL DIVERSITY'

Emily Brooker's 15 minutes of infamy are surely up by now, but the former Missouri State University student refuses to give up the spotlight.

Brooker testified this week at a hearing in Jefferson City for something called the Emily Brooker Intellectual Diversity Act, a piece of legislation that bastardizes the meaning of "intellectual" and makes a mockery of "diversity."

Brooker, as you probably remember, sued MSU after claiming her "Christian beliefs" were being trampled (she refused to write a letter to state lawmakers, voicing support for gay marriage). The university quickly settled the claim and cleared Brooker's academic record. The head of the social work graduate program stepped down from that post but continues to teach at MSU.

Republican lawmakers pushing the Brooker Act swallowed a load during the hearing. A News-Leader account of the meeting included this claim from witness Mindy Ellis, an Ozarks social worker:

"(Another professor) made several statements leading several students to believe that a good social worker must engage in a homosexual act at some point."

Where are the "several students," when was the statement made, where's the proof that this is anything more than an outrageous lie?

But that's the way the radical right operates in Missouri and across the nation. Throw out a spectacular claim, rely on the media to report it without skepticism, and then point to the ensuing media frenzy as proof that there's more to the story than smoke. This, by the way, is the only time they like the media -- when it does their bidding. The rest of the time it's the liberal media and you can't trust anything they say.

(The radical right likes to shout a lot about discrimination against Christians, a major point of Brooker's beef. Last we checked, Christians accounted for 85 percent of the U.S. population. That's more than 224 million people, and they much rule the national roost.)

The radical right's other specialty is wordnapping -- stealing perfectly decent words and twisting them into something contrary to truth. Take "intellectual diversity." Under the Brooker Act, it's defined as "the foundation of a learning environment that exposes students to a variety of political, ideological, religious, and other perspectives."

C'mon. Do you really believe they mean it? A "variety" would include perspectives from across a broad spectrum. Brooker and her supporters in the Missouri General Assembly want to squelch perspectives that differ from their point of view. They're pushing for less diversity, not more. That's anything but intellectual.