ARKANSAS GOV PREDICTS CIG-FREE FUTURE

He's probably right. The Associated Press reports:

Gov. Mike Huckabee, who successfully pushed for a statewide workplace smoking ban earlier this year, predicted Wednesday that cigarettes eventually won't be sold because of their health risks.

"I think the day will come when we probably won't" sell cigarettes, Huckabee said on his monthly call-in radio show. "If cigarettes were introduced to the marketplace today, they wouldn't be sold. They'd never make it because what we didn't know when they were first created, sold and marketed is just how deadly harmful they were."

Huckabee was responding to a caller's question of why cigarettes are allowed to be sold if they are so harmful. The governor fielded complaints from at least two callers about the state smoking ban, which went into effect July 21.

Stock up now.

FINALLY, SOME RELIEF FROM THE HEAT

Ozarkers are sweating like Mel Gibson at a bar mitzvah. That could change soon.

The National Weather Service says rain will hit southwest Missouri on Thursday. High temp: 91 degrees. The rain chance is 40 percent, so odds are we'll be hosed. By the weekend it's back to 90-plus weather.

As Fat Jack might say, it's hotter than a billy goat’s butt in a pepper patch.

BLOGGERS ACTUALLY GET SOMETHING DONE

Another loud (our fault) and boisterous (John Stone's fault) night with the Springfield Bloggers. Andy Cline at Rhetorica has the podcast.

An item discussed during the meeting involved the possibility of the bloggers, as a group, sponsoring community forums this fall. We'd like to explore issues -- how to get more younger voters to the polls, for starters -- and we'd like to do more than sit around and drink fine beer from Patton Alley Pub.

More as it happens. Thanks to all who made it out.

TWICE AS NICE

The motley group of mostly washed humans better known as Springfield's bloggers meets at 7 p.m. Tuesday at Patton Alley Pub in downtown Springfield. Rhetorica will podcast, for those of you scoring at home.

It's the first attempt at twice-monthly meetings, so all bets are off.

THE EFFECT OF THE YEARS

Twenty-five years ago today we were sitting in a student lounge in Columbia, Mo., watching the future. Back then we couldn't imagine being a quarter-century older; those who had reached that milestone were impossibly old and hopelessly out of touch. Now that we are the decrepit, we have not changed our minds. Damn the black night with its foul temptations and the memories that will not fade.

Do you remember the JAMC?
And reading aloud from magazines?
I don't know about you,
But I'd swear on my name,
They could smell it on me.

FIDEL CASTRO RELINQUISHES POWER

Breaking at The Association Press and CNN. The skinny:

Cuban President Fidel Castro is transferring power provisionally to brother Raul while he undergoes an operation, Cuban TV announces.

The official story has Castro all tired out after a lot of travel in the past 10 days. It all sounds very sketchy.

More from CNN's reporter in Havana: Castro expects several weeks of recuperation. Raul Castro will control the party and the military with his "temporary" presidency. After 47 years in power, will Fidel Castro go out with a whimper?

R-12 BOSS, BOARD PREZ SUPPORT DENISON

The superintendent of the Springfield Public Schools -- and the president of the school board -- both contributed money to the campaign of Rep. Charlie Denison. The contributions were made one day after a fundraiser that Denison wrongly claimed the school district was co-hosting for him.

The Republican lawmaker's contributions are found in his latest campaign finance disclosure form. It shows Denison raised $11,400 in the last couple weeks, bringing his total to $35,761. He's spent $23,200. He reports cash on hand of $15,537.

Funny thing about these contributions:

•Dr. and Mrs. Michael D. Hoeman contributed $325 on July 7.
•On the same day, Norman and Nadine Ridder contributed $200.

Hoeman is president of the school board. Ridder is the superintendent.

Denison has an opponent in the August primary. David Dunn's eight-days-prior report hasn't yet been filed but is due by Monday night. His previously filed reports do not list contributions from Hoeman or Ridder.

Neither Hoeman nor Ridder contributed money to Nancy Hagan, the lone Democrat in the race for representative of the 135th District, according to campaign finance reports.

FOOT-IN-MOUTH CHARLIE

Charlie Denison, the formable state representative, must not want another term in office. A Monday story in the News-Leader about the primary race between Denison and GOP challenger David Dunn includes a couple of priceless Denisonisms.

According to writer Cory de Vera:

Denison admits attending opening day at the new Busch Stadium in April to watch the Springfield Cardinals play, but said the votes he missed were on the consent agenda ...

Dunn pledges also to have monthly meetings with constituents. Denison said he also tried that, but so few showed up he committed himself to making himself accessible in other ways, such as attending meetings of civic organizations like the Rotary Club ...

(Note de Vera's use of the loaded word "admits." Wouldn't "acknowledges" work just as well?)

But Denison doesn't need loaded words to look foolish. Asked about taking money from lobbyists, Denison said:

"Do I take some lobbyist money? You betcha. Because there is a world of information that comes from lobbyists. When we term-limited, we cut ourselves off from information about what happened 10 years ago. You get that from lobbyists, and if you are going to get it straight you don't talk to just one, you talk to both sides."

Sorry, Charlie. Neither tastes good, nor in good taste.

CALLING FOR A BOYCOTT

A new Springfield blogger -- Betty B. -- proposes a plan to hit "hate media" when it hurts. Talk radio's daily spew of venom draws plenty of sponsors. So does the swill passing for programming on Fox's "news" channel. Betty B. proposes:

If we are to live in a society that has freedom of speech, I realize that we must tolerate a multitude of viewpoints. However, we do not have to reward the sponsors of hate radio and hate TV with our business. Let's start a boycott of those who advertise on hate media. If half of us fall on the other side of the equation, that would make a serious dent in their revenue. They will pay attention and withdraw their ads if enough people protest through letters, emails and stop buying their products and services. I find it excruciating to listen for more than a minute, so at this moment I don't have any suggestions of advertisers to boycott. Please help me compile a list, and I'll publish it here.

Here being the blog of Betty B. You'll find that link in the CHATTERWORTHY blogroll, at right, or by clicking here.

DRINKING AT THE FAYETTEVILLE WENDY'S

It leads to no good end. The Northwest Arkansas Times explains:

Fayetteville police arrested a Wendy’s employee early Friday morning after he allegedly threatened a teenage co-worker with a knife and tried to rape him.

José Jimenez, 24, of 2127 Sunny Lane faces felony charges of terroristic threatening, aggravated assault, second degree battery and attempted rape.

Fayetteville police responded to Wendy’s on North College Avenue at about 4 a.m. in reference to an armed person report.

After interviewing a witness at the scene, police learned that Jimenez had been drinking with a Wendy’s co-worker inside the business, after work. The two reportedly began to argue and went outside the restaurant.

"When they came back in, [Jimenez] grabbed a knife and held it to the victim’s neck," said Lt. Mike Reynolds, of the Fayetteville Police Department. "He started yelling and cursing in both Spanish and English."

According to Reynolds, another employee went into the manager’s office to call 911.

"When she thought he was gone, she came back out, but [Jimenez ] was still there," Reynolds said. "She tried to wrestle the knife away from him, but he swung at her and almost cut her hand."

Reynolds said the employee went back into the manager’s office. When she looked back, she reportedly saw Jimenez force the victim to his knees while holding him by the hair.

"The witness said Jimenez held the knife up to the victim and demanded oral sex," he said.

Paging Bill Dana.

GIBSON: DISEASED, DISGRACED, DESPICABLE

Hey, we're not saying it. He is:

"After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed. I drove a car when I should not have, and was stopped by the L.A. County sheriffs. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person.

"I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said and I apologize to anyone who I have offended.

"Also, I take this opportunity to apologize to the deputies involved for my belligerent behavior. They have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself. I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry.

"I have battled the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. I apologize for any behavior unbecoming of me in my inebriated state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to health."

And he really didn't mean what he said about the Jews. Uh-huh.

MEL GIBSON NABBED FOR DRUNKEN DRIVING

John Stone at the Curbstone Critic caught the squeal and sent it our way. From CNN:

Gibson, 50, was pulled over early Friday while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway, said sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore. Officers on patrol reported Gibson was driving at an "excessively fast speed," he said.

He was charged with a misdemeanor and posted $5,000 bond, Whitmore said.

One minute, water. Next minute, wine.

HOUSE GOP LEADERS OK MINIMUM-WAGE HIKE

But of course it isn't a standalone proposal. The Associated Press reports on an especially breathtaking bit of shamelessness:

Congress would pass an increase in the minimum wage before leaving Washington for vacation, but only as part of a package rolling back taxes on the heirs of multimillionaires, a Senate leadership aide said Friday.

The GOP package would also contain a popular package of expiring tax breaks, including a research and development credit for businesses, and deductions for college tuition and state sales taxes.

The wage would increase from $5.15 to $7.25 per hour, phased in over the next two years, the aide said.

The maneuver is aimed at defusing the wage hike as a campaign issue for Democrats while using its popularity to spur enactment of the Republican Party's long-sought goal of permanently cutting taxes on millionaires' estates.

If they're against an increase in the minimum wage, then fine. Let voters decide in November if that's the agenda they want for America. But for House leaders to cave on the minimum-wage increase -- simply to defuse a campaign issue (and give a perk to their rich friends) -- shows their lack of principle.

BLUNT CHIEF TO MISSOURI STATE

Steve Koehler at the News-Leader has the follow-up to the speculation:

Ken McClure has been named the new associate vice president for administrative services at Missouri State University.

He will begin his new duties Aug. 28. He replaces Fred Marty, who retired in March and will be paid $95,000 a year.

McClure resigned today as chief of staff for Gov. Matt Blunt, a position he has held since Blunt took office in January 2005.

McClure also headed Blunt’s transition team from November 2004 through January 2005.

He was not available for comment.

"There was a terrific match between Ken McClure’s skills and experience and the requirements of this position," Missouri State President Mike Nietzel said in a university release.

"And besides, Ken is coming home – he maintained his residence in Springfield even while he commuted and worked in Jefferson City."

Some might think it's a brilliant move by Nietzel, bringing in someone thisclose to the governor. We think the last thing Missouri State University needs is a polarizing, politicizing veep.

CITY: MUNI COURT THEFT AT LEAST $1 MILLION

This is, to say the least, not good news for the City of Springfield. An administrative investigation into missing monies in the municipal-court system shows at least $1 million -- and maybe $1.2 million -- missing over the past six years. According to a city news release:

One Municipal Court employee was terminated during the administrative investigation and a second employee resigned. The Investigative Committee, comprised of four department heads, and led by City Manager Bob Cumley and Assistant City Manager Evelyn Honea, determined that no other disciplinary actions would be taken against any other City employees.

Specific recommendations for the Municipal Judge and Finance Director address future actions. In particular, the Finance Department is already in the process of auditing every area where cash is collected and handled within the City. All Department Heads also are reviewing controls and processes in place in their departments, although many departments do not handle any significant amounts of cash in their day-to-day operations.

The report states that possible restitution options are being pursued, including partial recovery through the City’s insurance policy on bonded employees. The criminal investigation is ongoing and no timetable is set for its completion.

The city's insurance policies only allow for up to $200,000 recovery, less a $2,500 deductible.

COPS: TEXAS MONASTERY HAVEN FOR SEX ABUSERS

UPI has the story from Blanco, Texas:

Christ of the Hills Monastery, an Eastern Orthodox foundation in Blanco, Texas, was founded in 1981 by Samuel Greene Jr., who took the name of Father Benedict. In his previous life, Greene had been a real estate developer in San Antonio who called himself "Sam the Land Man" in commercials.

Investigators say that the monastery was not only a haven for sexual abusers but a fraud which used a supposed weeping icon of the Virgin Mary to extort contributions, the San Antonio Express-News reported.

"We're taking the icon into custody as we speak, as a criminal instrument, as part of the fraud that we're investigating for grand jury presentation," Blanco County District Attorney Sam Oatman told the newspaper.

Christ of the Hills? Christ on a crutch.

ROLLING ROCK RUINED

The beer in the green glass bottle has been gobbled up by Anheuser-Busch. Wednesday was the last day Rolling Rock was brewed and bottled at the Latrobe Brewing Company in Pennsylvania.

WPXI reports:

The official last day for workers will be Monday. A deal was put in place to allow Rolling Rock workers to keep their jobs.

The union approved an agreement with City Brewing on Sunday. The Wisconsin-based company will buy the Latrobe Brewery from In-Bev USA. The Rolling Rock beer brand was sold to Anheuser-Busch.

Production of the beer will move to Newark, N.J.

From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment as a tribute to your good taste. It comes from the mountain springs to you. Well, it used to.

LIFE IMITATES 'THE GODFATHER'

Check out Mr. Obvious making an appearance as a police lieutenant. The Associated Press reports:

A Middletown, N.Y., councilwoman found a severed horse’s head in her swimming pool Tuesday, state police said.

"We’re looking at a threat as a possible angle," Lt. Pierce Gallagher said. "Certainly, we can’t rule that out."

There have been some prior instances of harassment directed toward Wawayanda Councilwoman Gail Soro, Gallagher said.

One of the most famous scenes in "The Godfather" showed a movie mogul waking up with a horse head in his bed after he refused to bow to the will of the title character, played by Marlon Brando.

Wawayanda is located 106 miles southwest of Albany.

The Times Herald-Record notes this isn't the first time Soro has been targeted with weirdness. The windshield wipers on her vehicle were bent back during a council meeting. Another time, someone glued a sex toy to her windshield.

TEEN PEOPLE, 8

Teen People, the magazine, is dead. Despite a healthy subscriber base, the magazine was killed Tuesday by Time Inc., a subsidiary of Time Warner.

TeenPeople.com lives on, for now. Forbes has the rest of the obit:

"We're looking at…what makes sense for the Time Inc. portfolio," spokeswoman Ali Zelenko said. "We decided it made sense for this brand to live on on the Web."

The move echoes similar moves elsewhere among teen-oriented titles. Hachette Filipacchi Media shuttered ELLEgirl magazine with its June/July issue, although it is continuing to operate the Web site www.ELLEgirl.com.

In October 2004, Conde Nast Publications purchased the assets of teen-oriented YM and closed the magazine, although it kept alive YM.com.

Subscribers of YM magazine were switched to Conde Nast's Teen Vogue. As a result, Teen Vogue saw its total paid circulation surge 142% in 2005 to 1.41 million, according to the Magazine Publishers of America. Total paid circulation for Teen People, which began publishing in January 1998, slipped 0.7% last year to 1.53 million.

Ending publication of Teen People will affect about 50 employees, some of whom have already found jobs elsewhere at Time Inc., Zelenko said.

The closing of Teen People follows Time Inc.'s elimination of 105 management jobs in December, and its announcement in January that it planned to cut about 100 more jobs.

Guess that offer to try Teen People isn't so risk-free after all.

FIRED, NOTHNG TECHNICAL ABOUT IT

The award for unintentionally funniest story of the week goes to this Associated Press report on the firing of the host of a PBS show for preschoolers. Reason for the dismissal? Her colorful work on a past video project. Read on:

The host, Melanie Martinez, had alerted network officials about one of the videos late last week and she was immediately taken off the air.

"PBS Kids Sprout has determined that the dialogue in this video is inappropriate for her role as a preschool program host and may undermine her character's credibility with our audience," said Sandy Wax, network president.

Airing for three hours each evening, "The Good Night Show" airs soothing stories and cartoons designed to get an audience of 2-to-5-year-olds ready for bed. Each night, Martinez guides a puppet character into dreamland. Martinez is a stage actress and mother of a toddler.

In the two "Technical Virgin" videos _ made before she landed the children's show job _ she spoofs PSAs about how young women can keep their virginity.

PBS Kids Sprout airs children's programming 24 hours a day and is seen in about 20 million of the nation's 110 million television homes. "The Good Night Show" has been temporarily replaced by cartoons while a search is conducted for a new host.

Yeah, that kind of talk could make some kids sprout. Good night!

READ AND LEARN

Tip of the CHATTER pinhead to Brad Belote at KYTV's political blog for posting a link to a marvy voters guide from the League of Women Voters. The 38-page .pdf covers Greene and Christian counties.

Download the guide by clicking here. It's worth your reading time.

To the candidates who failed to respond to the LVW questionnaire -- what, you're too good to tell voters what you think? It's disappointing to note that only the Libertarian candidate for the House seat in the 134th District responded to the League. Disappointing, too, that Springfield incumbent reps Charlie Denison, B.J. Marsh, Sara Lampe and Bob Dixon failed to respond.

ADDICTED TO CHILD PORN

That's the excuse from a Chicago-area mayor, arrested Monday and charged with distributing child pornography via the Internet.

Green Oaks Mayor Tom Adams was jailed in lieu of $100,000 bond. He's 68. According to the Chicago Tribune:

Adams, a former chairman of the Lake County Republican Party and a longtime GOP power broker, is accused of using three screen names on America Online to send child porn from a computer in his home office, said Assistant State's Atty. Patricia Fix. The first incident occurred March 21, 2005, she said. On July 12, 2005, an undercover police officer in Florida received five e-mails from Adams that contained multiple images of child porn, according to Fix.

On May 25, Adams sent child porn images to three people, and he sent one image on June 2, Fix said. The FBI contacted the state's attorney in May, she said.

When authorities went to Adams' house Monday morning, they found child porn on his computer, Fix said. Adams told investigators that he sent the images and that he is addicted to child porn, Fix said.

If convicted, Adams could get 15 years in prison consecutively for each person who received child porn from him, Fix said.

"These are very unfortunate and serious charges," said Adams' attorney, Tom Briscoe of Waukegan. "We'll have an answer for them at the appropriate time."

None of Green Oaks' trustees were available for comment. The small community is located between Libertyville and Lake Bluff.

Green Oaks likes to boast that it is "rich in tradition that affords the pleasantries of quiet country living, excellent schools, access to major highways and tollways [and] single family home on large lots."

EVERYONE SHRUGGED

A movie version of Atlas Shrugged is on its way. A trilogy, actually. Whee, we type, and not with any great enthusiasm.

The Baldwin Entertainment Group, led by Howard Baldwin, and John Aglialoro of The Atlas Society are leading the effort. The Objectivist Center has this:

Baldwin and Aglialoro confirmed earlier reports that BEG will collaborate with Lionsgate, the studio that produced last year’s Oscar winner, "Crash"; the final contract was signed just days earlier. Lionsgate will provide funding for production and handle distribution. They also confirmed that the goal is for a three-part adaptation, like "Lord of the Rings." Only that length, Baldwin said, would give sufficient scope to tell Ayn Rand's long, complex story. The current project is for Part I, which will cover roughly the first third of the novel, with an expected budget of $40 million or more. "We want to make sure it is done well so that the second and third movies can be made." Among the other studios that expressed interest in the project, he added, Lionsgate stood out because of its enthusiasm for completing the trilogy.

With Lionsgate on board, the project is on "a very aggressive path toward production," with filming to begin as early as April 2007. While there is still a chance of completing the film in time for a release later that year, to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the novel, a 2008 release is more likely.

There's still time before this monstrosity is released. Time enough to rebuild Project X.

CROSSING THE FINE LINE

You know, the one between reality and madness. Tuesday's News-Leader makes the case for insanity.

Mary Traeger, the typist from Forsyth, Mo., spouts the latest anti-science screed from social conservatives, trying to get your bowels in an uproar over embryonic stem-cell research. It's the same tired Traeger rant, full of hypocrisy and laughable ignorance.

Or, as Traeger herself typed:

This kind of hyperbole and inaccuracy causes confusion in people's minds as to what is true.

Precisely. Time for the News-Leader to stop relying on Mary Traeger to stir up the masses. She's officially past her sell-by date.

DO NOT MESS WITH JUANA PEREZ

She's 28 and from Lynn, Mass. She apparently thought her husband was messing with another woman. The Daily Item tells us what happened next:

According to police reports unveiled in the courtroom, an enraged Perez believed the unrelated female victim was having an affair with her husband, and held her against her will and smeared her with hot jalapeno-like peppers in juice. At one point during the alleged assault, Perez allegedly instructed one of her daughters to bring an additional cup of the hot peppers in juice, based on court documents.

Perez, a Guatemalan immigrant who works at a local laundry, was charged with kidnap, rape, assault, and two counts of assault and battery, with hot peppers.

Perez has three kids, ages 12, 7 and 4. She's being held in lieu of $20,000 bond and is due back in court on Aug. 17.