CALL HIM 'CHIEF IMUS'

The police chief of Pewaukee, Wis., is being sued in federal court by one of his police officers. The officer claims Chief Gary Bach threatened to fire him because the officer told the chief to stop with the sexist and racist remarks.

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports:

Officer Robert Kraemer contends that Bach in retaliation wrongfully took away Kraemer's position as community service officer and put him on patrol duties.

In the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Milwaukee, Kraemer says his First Amendment rights to free speech were violated and is seeking at least $300,000 in damages. ...

Bach was not at work today and was not immediately available for comment.

According to the lawsuit, Kraemer in October 2006 learned that a number of police department employees were "unhappy with Bach's use of derogatory name calling of females and minority groups."

Following the discipline of a female officer that month, Kraemer warned Bach to stop calling female officers names, the suit says. Kraemer said he also heard the chief use a vulgar term when Bach referred to the city's female administrator, according to the suit.

The suit says Kraemer also told Bach that Bach needed to stop calling females "fat naked sumo wrestlers,... to stop referring to certain minority groups as the 'N' word, to stop sending pornographic e-mails to female members of the PPD, and to stop harassing certain female employees."

Here's a photo of the Pewaukee Police Department.

KURT VONNEGUT, 84

Smitty grabs the point for the writer. And what a writer, creator of "Slaughterhouse-Five" and 13 other novels.

Vonnegut suffered brain injuries in a fall several weeks ago. The New York Times has the obit for history. A few grafs:

Like Mark Twain, Mr. Vonnegut used humor to tackle the basic questions of human existence: Why are we in this world? Is there a presiding figure to make sense of all this, a god who in the end, despite making people suffer, wishes them well?

He also shared with Twain a profound pessimism. “Mark Twain,” Mr. Vonnegut wrote in his 1991 book, “Fates Worse Than Death: An Autobiographical Collage,” “finally stopped laughing at his own agony and that of those around him. He denounced life on this planet as a crock. He died.”

Not all Mr. Vonnegut’s themes were metaphysical. With a blend of vernacular writing, science fiction, jokes and philosophy, he also wrote about the banalities of consumer culture, for example, or the destruction of the environment.

His novels — 14 in all — were alternate universes, filled with topsy-turvy images and populated by races of his own creation, like the Tralfamadorians and the Mercurian Harmoniums. He invented phenomena like chrono-synclastic infundibula (places in the universe where all truths fit neatly together) as well as religions, like the Church of God the Utterly Indifferent and Bokononism (based on the books of a black British Episcopalian from Tobago “filled with bittersweet lies,” a narrator says).

Vonnegut. Damn.

IMUS LOSES SPONSORS

When last we wrote about Don Imus' troubles, his show had simply been suspended for two weeks. Now Imus faces bigger woes; according to The New York Times, sponsors are dropping like flies from the Imus show. Among them:

Miralus Healthcare, a pharmaceutical company that makes a headache medication called HeadOn, said yesterday that they had asked MSNBC to remove their advertising from the television simulcast of Mr. Imus’s radio program and run their commercials elsewhere.

Whoa. When the maker of the world's most obnoxious commercials ditches your show, you know you're toast.

But what's it all mean, Stimpy? Art Morris has an interesting take on the Imus flap at his Missouri Radio forums:

I think Imus stumbled onto a new trend in this country, "The Anti-Rap Backlash."

I read a story a few days ago that said that sales of rap music had dropped something like 25% in the past year or so. Record company execs weren't quite sure what was going on. I think I understand now. Voices were already being heard, especially in the black community, condeming the 'rap lifestyle.' Apparently, the public, finally, is turning against the hate speech that so characterizes much of rap music, and the culture around it.

At the very least, Imus is guilty of not keeping up. He was trying to be hip and cool, and missed the fact that the some people are turning against that kind of speech. Ooops, stuck in the 90's.

If this situation puts another nail in the coffin of the 'rap lifestyle,' that's OK with me. Except for one small thing ... freedom of speech.

TUESDAY BRIEFS

•The Tennessee home that once belonged to Johnny Cash has burned to the ground. The BBC reports that the lakeside home -- where Cash and his wife, June Carter Cash, lived from 1968 until their deaths in 2003 -- burned Tuesday "while renovations were being carried out for its new owner, Bee Gee Barry Gibb." Music-video fans will remember the home's interior, used for Cash's 2002 hit, "Hurt." It may be a Nine Inch Nails original, but that Cash vid gets to us every time.

•Thank God It's Over, For Now: Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter. Howard K. Stern, Smith's attorney, now fades into obscurity (a girl can hope, can't she?). Dannielynn is the heir to Smith's earthly possessions -- that is, unless her 6-year-old son (and his father) can lay a credible claim.

•Wall of Witnesses: At his upcoming murder trial, music producer Phil Spector will watch several women testify that he brandished guns around them. Tuesday, a judge ruled that Spector's ex-girlfriend can testify the producer held a gun to her forehead and threatened to shoot her if she left his mansion. The judge had already OK'd testimony from four other women who said Spector was all about waving guns around and acting like a potentially homicidal maniac. Spector, 67, is charged with murder in the shooting death of Lana Clarkson, shot in the head in the foyer of Spector's L.A. home in 2003.

THIS WHOLE IMUS THING

Don Imus, the syndicated radio host, finds himself on the thinnest of ice these days. Last week Imus and his producer, Bernard McGuirk, were riffing on the NCAA women's basketball tournament; the conversation deteriorated into name-calling, with Imus tagging the mostly black Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos" and McGuirk using the slur "jigaboos" to describe the women.

(Never mind that "ho," like "pimp," have been bastardized into meaninglessness. That's a topic for another post.)

Imus apologized last week, and again on Monday, and then he went on a radio show hosted by the Rev. Al Sharpton, civil rights leader and occasional presidential candidate. The Sharpton show did not go well for Imus. Newsday reports that Sharpton kept Imus off-balance for much of the interview, and an exchange from the show illustrates the contentiousness:

Sharpton: "It can't just be glossed over, if you walk away from this unscathed, the next guy can."

Imus: "Unscathed! Don't you think I'm humiliated? Don't you think I'm embarrassed? Don't you think I understand?"

Sharpton thinks no such thing, and continues to call for Imus to be fired. So does the Rev. Jesse Jackson; he led a Monday picket outside the Chicago offices of NBC (Imus' morning show is simulcast on MSNBC).

Also joining in the call to oust Imus are the usual suspects. Over at Democratic Underground, this thread typifies the outrage among many liberals. One DUer fumed:

We don't need voices like HIS on the airwaves.

He's offensive, he's horrible, so let's kick him to the curb. It has become the bipartisan, catch-all solution to myriad problems, both real and imagined. Don't like Michael Richards' rant during a comedy routine? Throw him down the well. Don't like the Dixie Chicks criticizing the president? Demand their heads on a wall. It's a short-term balm that does little, if anything, to halt intolerance.

If Imus offends you, don't listen. Same goes for every other radio talker. File a complaint with the FCC, if you feel the need. But demanding Imus' head on a pike? Please. His whole radio schtick is built on outrageous remarks. Anyone who claims to be surprised at Imus' remarks is lying, or has never listened to his show.

Late Monday, NBC announced that it was suspending the simulcast of Imus' show for two weeks, after which time he will undoubtedly mutter something about being chastised and we'll all go on to the next uproar. Political correctness wins again. We all lose.

GAMBLING SHE WON'T GET CAUGHT

Judy Lea Fairbanks, of Bellevue, Neb., went to a casino in Council Bluffs, Iowa, over the weekend. She decided to take her husband along for the ride. He's disabled. Problem.

The Daily Nonpareil reports:

Fairbanks, 52, was charged with wanton neglect of a dependent person for leaving her husband unattended at the Horseshoe Casino, located at 2701 23rd Ave. in Council Bluffs, shortly after 10 a.m. Saturday.

According to a Council Bluffs Police report, Fairbanks taped a sign to the window of the vehicle that said, "I have a disability. Do not be alarmed. I am resting. Please do not call security."

Fairbanks' husband cannot speak or care for himself, according to the report.

Officials estimate he had been left in the vehicle on the third floor of the parking garage for approximately one hour before he was discovered sleeping in the front passenger seat by authorities.

The temperature was approximately 28 degrees at the time Fairbanks' husband was found, according to the National Weather Service.

Police say they investigated a similar complaint involving the same couple last month. Bet it doesn't work out.

JOHNNY HART, 76

He created a little comic strip called B.C. He died Saturday. The Binghamton Press & Sun-Bulletin reports:

Hart's B.C. comic strip was launched in 1958 and eventually appeared in more than 1,300 newspapers worldwide with an audience of 100 million. He lent his characters to promote many local agencies and activities, including the Broome Dusters hockey team, BC Transit, Broome County Parks and the professional golf tournament which became the B.C. Open.

B.C. participated in the nation's space program. In 1972, Hart received a public service award from NASA for outstanding contributions.

Later in his career, some of Hart's cartoons addressed religious themes -- a reflection of his own deepening Christian faith -- which dismayed some readers and delighted others.

Hart also was co-creator of Wizard of Id.

BOB CLARK, 66

Strannix @ Welcome to the Revolution earns the point. Clark was director of A Christmas Story, Porky's and Rhinestone.

Mmm. Porky's.

Clark and his 22-year-old son died Wednesday after their sedan was hit by a GMC Yukon. According to TMZ:

Hector Velazquez Nava, 24, was charged with two counts of gross vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated; one for each of the victims, and he's being held in a Los Angeles County jail in lieu of $200,000 bail. If convicted, Nava faces up to twelve years in prison.

Strannix tips a half-point to Skippy the Bush Kangaroo for the find.

ONE FOR THE AGES

From the Bering Sea came forth a shortraker rockfish at least 90 years old. She was pregnant. According to National Geographic:

Researchers at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) used growth rings in the fish's ear bone, or otolith, to make their age estimate.

NOAA scientists also found that the fish's advanced years had yet to take a toll on its reproductive abilities.

"The belly was large," NOAA researcher Paul Spencer told the Associated Press. "The ovaries were full of developing embryos."

A Seattle, Washington-based ship caught the 44-inch-long (112-centimenter-long), 60-pound (27-kilogram) fish while trawling for pollock at about 2,100 feet (640 meters) below the surface. The massive mama was among ten shortrakers pulled from the depths along with roughly 75 tons of the smaller commercially fished species.

Not quite a record -- the largest measured rockfish was 47 inches long, and the oldest was 157 years. Click the link and check out this fish.

GOP'S MONICA CALLS IT QUITS

Monica Goodling, the U.S. Department of Justice official who recently said she'd take the Fifth Amendment rather than testify under oath to Congress, handed in her resignation on Friday.

CNN reports that Goodling resigned as counselor to Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez.

In her goodbye letter, Goodling wrote:

"I am hereby submit my resignation to the Office of the Attorney General, effective April 7, 2007. It has been an honor to have served at the Department of Justice for the past five years. May God bless you richly as you continue your service to America."

The Friday news dump -- a time-honored tradition of releasing bad news just as the weekend starts and people stop paying attention.

THE CARPET IS HONKY WHITE

WTF, and we don't mean Welcome To Friday. A Canadian family bought furniture and had it delivered to their home in Brampton. All hell broke loose.

Why? The Toronto Star reports:

When the new chocolate-coloured sofa set was delivered to her Brampton home, Doris Moore was stunned to see packing labels describing the shade as "Nigger-brown."

She and husband Douglas purchased a sofa, loveseat and chair in dark brown leather last week from Vanaik Furniture and Mattress store on Dundas St. E.

Moore, 30, who describes herself as an African-American born and raised in New York, said it was her 7-year-old daughter who pointed out the label just after delivery men from the Mississauga furniture store left.

"She's very curious and she started reading the labels," Moore explained. "She said, `Mommy, what is nig ... ger brown?' I went over and just couldn't believe my eyes."

She said yesterday each piece had a similar label affixed to the woven protective covering wrapped around the furniture. ...

When interviewed yesterday by the Star, Romesh Kumar, Vanaik's assistant manager, passed the buck to his supplier, Cosmos Furniture in Scarborough.

Believe it or not, it's a listed pigment in some Chinese manufacturing.

IDIOCY X 3

Evidence of the decline:

•In a fascinating letter to the editor in Friday's News-Leader, Dick Clark of Springfield fumes:

When you editorialize that the school should have complied with Soulforce's request, you are taking sides.

Hey, Dick: it's an editorial.

•Talibdin El-Amin, a Democratic state rep from St. Louis, wants to make it harder to buy baking soda. According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, El-Amin has introduced a bill putting baking soda behind the counter because it's used to make crack cocaine.

•A new Newsweek poll shows almost half of Americans (48 percent) reject "the scientific theory of evolution." Three in four evangelical Protestants say "God created humans in their present form within the last 10,000 years."

A NOT-SO-NUTTY STORY

Benjamin Houghton, 47, is an Air Force veteran. He had a potentially cancerous testicle -- the left one, a very important specific in the story.

Houghton had surgery at the West Los Angeles VA Medical Center last June.

Doctors removed his right testicle.

Houghton and his wife, Monica, are suing. According to this Los Angeles Times report:

"At first I thought it was a joke," said Houghton, who recalls being told of the mistake immediately afterward, while he was in recovery. "Then I was shocked. I told them, 'What do I do now?' "

Dr. Dean Norman, chief of staff for the Greater Los Angeles VA system, has formally apologized to Houghton and his wife.

"We are making every attempt that we can to care for Mr. Houghton, but it's in litigation, and that's all we can tell you," he said. Norman added that the hospital has made changes in its practices as a result of the case.

Perhaps now is the time to explore testicular transplants, with Dr. Dean Norman donating one of his own to Houghton. An eye for an eye, and all that.

THIRTEEN YEARS AGO

As near as anyone can figure it, Thursday is the 13th anniversary of the death of Kurt Cobain, leader of Nirvana. Cobain was found dead on April 8, but officials believe he shot himself on April 5, 1994. No more sweet little Pisces man.

This weekend, several local bands will gather for "In Bloom: A Tribute to Kurt Cobain" at The Outland and the Outland Ballroom. Pillbox is getting back together for the gig -- reason enough to show up. Until then, time to listen to "Floyd The Barber" and "Negative Creep."

TOM MOORE, 88

The blogger known as Doc Larry gets the point for this one. Moore was in charge of programming for ABC from 1958 to 1962. He was president of the network from 1963-1968. He died over the weekend from congestive heart failure. According to this Associated Press report:

During his tenure at ABC, the network began targeting programming toward younger viewers, who are most sought after by advertisers. ABC and Moore believed that demographic would be their ticket to the top.

"Probably his greatest legacy is that he changed the whole basis on which television time is sold, and thus, how television is programmed," TV historian Tim Brooks told the Los Angeles Times. "ABC basically introduced us to the concept of demographics. And ever since, we in the TV industry have been appealing to 18- to 49-year-old viewers."

Moore was also instrumental in developing the ABC Sports division, which won several Emmys for "ABC's Wide World of Sports" and Olympics coverage.

He hired sports producer Roone Arledge, who would become a legend, and helped create "Monday Night Football."

The guy could spot talent.

Speaking of talent, and Doc Larry, check out his tribute to John Stone. It's a keeper.

MICHAEL HENDRIX, PART 2

Wednesday's post about a university professor with a history of pedophilia now has a second-day angle. News-Leader reporter Steve Koehler's follow-up story about Michael Hendrix, an associate professor at Missouri State University who served time in prison for raping a 9-year-old child in Ohio, includes a couple of surprises:

•MSU administrators, past and present, are now putting daylight between themselves and Hendrix. One told the News-Leader that had he known about Hendrix's past, he might not have hired him.

•The MSU student who brought the story to a head, Ryan Cooper, said he was not working on a story for the Community Free Press. Instead, Cooper said he was doing an assignment for his advanced journalism class. That's why he was stopping parents in the pickup line at Greenwood Laboratory School, asking them how they felt about their children being on the same campus as a sex offender.

•Cooper also insisted that he never intended for Hendrix's past to become public knowledge:

After reviewing sex offender sites and searching for sex offenders at the state's 12 four-year universities, Cooper said he found Hendrix on a list and decided to talk to parents about the issue of having a sex offender on campus.

He said he did not mention Hendrix's name and only talked to two parents, one of whom knew Hendrix's past.

"This story wasn't about him. It was about campus procedures," he said.

•Cooper's journalism instructor, Mary Jane Pardue, wouldn't tell Koehler squat about Cooper or the alleged assignment:

To do so, Pardue said, would violate the student's right to privacy, even though Cooper provided the name of his instructor and the name of the class to a reporter.

Pardue refused to comment on any aspect of the assignment or what was being taught in her class in general terms, such as if a student is taught how to conduct or prepare for interviews, how to approach subjects for interviews or how to arrange for visiting a site where there are safety measures in place.

"I don't think it's appropriate to talk about assignments," she said.

Pardue's refusal to discuss assignments from her class is troubling. As a journalism instructor she's supposed to be a fierce advocate for freedom of the press, yet when questioned by a member of the press, she clams up and invokes a student's right to privacy. Cooper's privacy rights have nothing to do with Pardue's class assignment.

Not mentioned in the story is Cooper's history of stirring it up. He sued the university in 2003, claiming his conservative group, Young Americans for Freedom, was being discriminated against because of its "political and religious viewpoints."

Cooper is executive director of Missouri State Conservatives. In his Facebook profile he lists his political views as "very conservative," though he has insisted that he's more of a Libertarian than a Republican.

Did Cooper's political beliefs belong in the story? Dunno. His class assignment, if that's what it was, doesn't have a clear political motive. But his history of creating controversy is well-known and might have provided better context on why he did what he did.

HOIST ONE FOR STONER

Time: 6:30 p.m.

Date: Thursday, April 5, 2007

Place: Patton Alley Pub, downtown Springfield

As The Snarling Marmot says, let's lift a glass and offer a toast to John Stone, one of the originals.

JOHN STONE, 62

The creator of Curbstone Critic died Tuesday afternoon. He was a photographer, a pilot, an educator, an oddball, an iconoclast.

Tony Messenger has the update from this story about Stone's death.

Last year we wrote a magazine piece about local bloggers; here's the lede:

FORTIFIED BY a pull on his cigarette and a swallow of his beer, John Stone surveys his companions for the evening -- a dozen men and women, most of them in the full vigor of their 30s and thus a generation younger than Stone, a retired biologist and geneticist. He is 62 and sometimes grumbles about being the "grandpa of the group." But only sometimes; he has come to look forward to the first and third Tuesdays of each month and this gathering of unlikely futurists at the Patton Alley Pub in downtown Springfield.

Stone is the author of the Curbstone Critic and a member in good standing of the Springfield Bloggers; a steady face at the group's meetings, he also documents the sitdowns through the lens of his Canon EOS-30 ...

We'll miss the sumbitch, though it sounds like he died doing what he enjoyed. And dammit, now he knows what happens next. Stoner, if you get the chance, give us the lowdown.

Updated @ 1:30 p.m.
From other bloggers:

•Snarling Marmot describes Stone as "just too damn smart for his own good." Amen, sister.

•Andy at Rhetorica (and leader of the local bloggers meetings) is "deeply saddened by the death of a man I counted among my friends."

•Larry at Simple Thoughts notes: "I believe he would love the fact that we are all talking about him."

•The bad-ass known as Strannix @ Welcome to the Revolution offers this: "He was a frequent visitor here at WttR, and one of the first to add me to his blogroll. So, though I never even met the man, it is not too much to say that he was an early godfather to this blog, and he will be missed."

•Over at Life in the Garden, there is this: "We didn’t always agree with his viewpoint, but it made for interesting reading."

•Zach, who is still here, says "I don’t know where ol’ Stone is right now but I hope he is happy." And drinking a beer.

NOT ALL THAT'S PASSED IS PAST

We've slagged the daily newspaper in this space. But despite all the hot air about the Information Center, not all sucks at the News-Leader.

Veteran reporter Steve Koehler delivers a great story in Wednesday's News-Leader about Michael Hendrix, an associate professor at Missouri State University. A long time ago, Hendrix molested a boy and went to prison. His employer knew his history and treated Hendrix appropriately -- neither the heavy hand nor the blow-off.

But last Friday, a person claiming to be a reporter for the Community Free Press pigeonholed parents outside Greenwood Laboratory School and asked their opinions of the "sex offender on campus."

Koehler's interview with Hendrix is a great read, and it's compelling journalism. Way to go, SRK.

(The online version of Koehler's story includes reader comments, and one person unfortunately chose to parrot a falsehood about child molesters -- that they're very likely to commit new crimes. That's simply not true, according to the Department of Justice.)

SIT, SWING, SNORT

•Hello: Ron Howard's couch is for sale on eBay. To quote the seller: "Just think of all the famous butts that graced this fine piece of Americana!" The sectional came from Howard's offices at Imagine.

•Local swingers are dressing up (or down) for the upcoming wedding of Jim and Terria double_d. Special "after party rooms" have been set up at the Lamplighter Inn North; an invite to the festivities, passed along by an exceptional source, urges us to "make sure to tell them you're with The 'Party' Club to get the special room rate of $54.99." Apparently some people in Springfield are upset that this sort of event is happening here.

•Keith Richards, you rascal. The 63-year-old musician and enjoyer of recreational drugs told NME: "The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared ... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

100-KNOT SUB ON THE WAY

This one's for Smitty. Military.com reports:

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Office (DARPA) has initiated an underwater express program to "demonstrate stable and controllable high‑speed underwater transport through supercavitation. The intent is to determine the feasibility for supercavitation technology to enable a new class of high‑speed underwater craft for future littoral missions that could involve the transport of high‑value cargo and/or small units of personnel. The program will investigate and resolve critical technological issues associated with the physics of supercavitation and will culminate in a credible demonstration a significant scale to prove that a supercavitating underwater craft is controllable at speeds up to 100 knots."

Such a 100-knot (115 miles-per-hour) undersea craft would be more than twice as the world's fastest submarine, the Soviet-built Project 661 (NATO code-name Papa). That submarine, completed in 1969, was armed with ten Amethyst anti-ship missiles (NATO designation SS-N-7) plus torpedoes. Twin reactors and twin shafts drove the Papa at 44.7 knots on trials--the fastest ever traveled by a manned underwater vehicle. She subsequently went slightly faster in service. ...

The current DARPA underwater express program is based on the concept of supercavitation. This involves surrounding an object with a bubble of gas that allows it to travel at high speed by reducing contact with the surrounding water and hence reducing drag. The Soviet-developed VA-111 Shkvall (squall) torpedo is the best known use of this technology; that rocket-propelled torpedo has an underwater speed of about 200 knots.

In the United States the primary DARPA contracts for the "100-knot submarine" have been awarded to General Dynamics/Electric Boat, Northrop Grumman, New Systems Tech, and the University of Pennsylvania 's Applied Physics Laboratory.

Yeah, but it still won't have those cool front windows like the Seaview.

FOUR QUICK BULLETS

•This is why we love Arkansas and its natural resource of dumb crooks with three names.

•This is why we are grateful that Kurt Cobain, though our hero, is dead.

•This is why Tara Reid should stay inside.

•This is why cartoons shouldn't get big-screen treatment. John Goodman as Pops Racer, father of Speed? As directed by Larry and Andy Wachowski? Yeesh.

PREDATOR ALERT

We all know what a predator is supposed to be, yes? We know he's evil and unstoppable, like the monster in that Arnold movie. We know that Life As We Know It is not safe when predators are around, especially when children populate the neighborhood, because predators love to prey on children. "Dateline" tells us so.

And that's the danger. The current culture has bastardized the P-word into banality. What used to be defined as "any organism that exists by preying upon other organisms" now means "any bastard that we can string up, especially if it keeps the children safe."

This week, cops in Florida busted 28 men for soliciting sex with minors. According to The New York Times:

Three of the 28 people who were arrested told authorities they worked for the Walt Disney Company, which owns and operates several theme parks in the Orlando area including Walt Disney World. Among the other arrested suspects were a volunteer for the Orlando Boys and Girls Club and a student at the University of Florida.

It all sounds tidy -- predators arrested, kids kept safe. But consider:

•The "kids" were undercover cops conducting a sting. They claimed to be girls, ages 13 or 14.
•The sting happened because it was "fairly simple" to set up -- not because police had noticed an uptick in sex cases involving children.
•The youngest of the suspects is 17. Another is 19. Two are 21.

There is also the media-whorishness of it all. The sheriff's office invited "reporters and photographers from several news agencies" to witness the sting, according to The Times. Grady Judd, the sheriff of Polk County, Fla., delivered his best fearmongering. "We will not allow these criminals’ behavior to escalate to kidnapping or murder," Grady said in a statement.

Easy arrests that make national news. How can Judd go wrong?

By continuing to hype an "epidemic" that needlessly frightens parents:

The sheriff’s office said that, according to national statistics, 1 in 7 children say that they have received an online solicitation; 1 in 11 has received an aggressive online sexual solicitation; and 1 in 3 has been exposed to unwanted sexual images on line.

Really? Let's dig a little deeper. This Skeptical Inquirer article cites the same statistics and notes:

A “sexual solicitation” is defined as a “request to engage in sexual activities or sexual talk or give personal sexual information that were unwanted or, whether wanted or not, made by an adult.” Using this definition, one teen asking another teen if her or she is a virgin—or got lucky with a recent date—could be considered “sexual solicitation.” Not a single one of the reported solicitations led to any actual sexual contact or assault. Furthermore, almost half of the “sexual solicitations” came not from “predators” or adults but from other teens—in many cases the equivalent of teen flirting. When the study examined the type of Internet “solicitation” parents are most concerned about (e.g., someone who asked to meet the teen somewhere, called the teen on the telephone, or sent gifts), the number drops from “one in five” to just 3 percent.

A three-percent problem with big hype, akin to the overblown methamphetamine "epidemic".

The problem of predator hype isn't confined to Florida. Like most states, Missouri keeps a list of what we'd all like to think of as evil sex predators. According to state statute, the bad guys include anyone who's been convicted of:

The acts of rape, forcible rape, statutory rape in the first degree, statutory rape in the second degree, sexual assault, sodomy, forcible sodomy, statutory sodomy in the first degree, statutory sodomy in the second degree, child molestation in the first degree, child molestation in the second degree, deviate sexual assault, sexual misconduct and sexual abuse, or attempts to commit any of the aforesaid.

In Missouri, second-degree statutory rape means someone who's 21 or older having sex with someone who is "less than 17 years of age." A similar law defines second-degree statutory sodomy as someone 21 or older having "deviate sexual intercourse" with someone who's less than 17.

Just so you'll know, "deviate sexual intercourse" in Missouri is defined as:

[A]ny act involving the genitals of one person and the hand, mouth, tongue, or anus of another person.

Put bluntly, a 21-year-old guy getting a handjob from a girl who's almost 17 is guilty of statutory sodomy in the second degree, and if he's found guilty, he could face up to seven years in prison -- and be on Missouri's sex offenders list for at least 10 years after serving his sentence. He will also have to provide access to his home computer to a parole officer, so everyone can feel safe.

Is this your definition of a predator?

SHE SAID IT WAS RAPE

So her husband shot the rapist dead.

But Tracy Denise Roberson wasn't being raped. Police say she used the excuse after her husband, Darrell Roberson, came home from a card game and found Tracy and a man in the bed of a pickup truck parked in the driveway.

This past week a grand jury in Texas indicted Tracy Roberson for manslaughter. Her husband was not charged in the death of Devin LaSalle.

According to The Associated Press:

"If I found somebody with my wife or with my kids in my house, there's no telling what I might do," said Juan Muniz, 33, who was having lunch Friday with one of his two small children at a restaurant in the middle-class suburban Dallas neighborhood where the Robersons lived. "I probably would have done the same thing."

Tracy Roberson, 35, could get two to 20 years in prison in the slaying of LaSalle, a 32-year-old UPS employee. ...

The December night before the shooting, Tracy Roberson sent LaSalle a text message that read in part, "Hi friend, come see me please! I need to feel your warm embrace!" according to court papers. LaSalle apparently agreed.

Darrell Roberson, a 38-year-old employee of a real estate firm, discovered the two, his wife clad in a robe and underwear.

When Tracy Roberson cried that she was being raped, LaSalle tried to drive away and her husband drew the gun he happened to be carrying and fired several shots at the truck, authorities said.

Tracy Roberson is also charged with making a false report to cops.

DON WYATT IS AT IT AGAIN

The executive editor of the News-Leader continues his tell us what you think campaign with an April Fools' Day column that's heavy on inadvertent humor.

A planned redesign at the daily has Wyatt pounding on the importance of local coverage in the local paper and evoking a bad cigarette commercial:

There are three newspapers piled neatly in my living room at home. The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and the News-Leader. Only one satisfies my local news needs.

Doesn't take much to satisfy the man, does it? Then again, it's hard to expect a lot from anyone who needed market research to learn that local readers want more local news in their local newspaper:

Over and over in market research, you say you want more local news — from your community and neighborhood, about local good things happening, on local growth and development, on local crime and court news, on the quality of our local environment, from local classrooms, on local food and dining, about local places to go and things to do, and local high school sports.

Wyatt's solution? Eliminate the current Ozarks section and make the A-section a local/state blend. To those who think the paper doesn't publish enough news from across the country or around the world, Wyatt proposes a second section with national and international news, business, weather -- and TV listings.

For someone who types about wanting to keep readers informed -- because, after all, the newspaper gods are doing this redesign for you -- Wyatt continues to be a tease:

In my next column, we'll look at our plans for expanded commentary and opinion coverage. After that, we'll explore how our newsgathering is changing to meet new technology and local news needs. Finally, we'll look closer at plans for features sections and coverage of new topics as we revamp those sections through the summer.

Eyeball the N-L prototypes here and prepare to be underwhelmed. Wyatt calls the changes "more evolutionary than revolutionary." Perhaps he meant "devolutionary."