Tuesday, October 28, 2008

PAPER PREPARES PRICE INCREASE

Is the local newspaper worth 75 cents a pop?

We all get to find out Monday, when the News-Leader increases its single-copy price. If letters like this one are any indication, the paper's making a grab for the sliver of the wingnut audience that can read. Hope it works out for the typists on Boonville Avenue.

Friday, October 24, 2008

SCENE FROM A RALLY

A huge crowd -- at least 10,000, and The Associated Press estimated twice that number -- turned out Friday to see Gov. Sarah Palin at Bass Pro Shops in Springfield.

Like all crowds, this one had all kinds. Most of them were there to rah-rah for the former cheerleader-turned-city manager-turned-nominee for vice president. Others were curious mellow, just out to see the show.

At least a couple were there because they believe in this:

She's no Nazi. A couple of her local supporters are. Such is life in the mighty-white Ozarks.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

BLOGGING THE ELECTION

The blogger known as Fat Jack has called the meeting. Local bloggers will gather at Patton Alley Pub at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008, to do some live blogging.

Mainstream media alert: Patton Alley will be the place to be on Election Night. Only question still hanging: how early will the presidential race be called for Barack Obama? For the first time in two cycles and eight years, it looks like an early night for calling it.

This, of course, will give John McCain supporters an excuse to blame the mainstream media for the defeat of their candidate. Some things never change.

Post your Election Night predictions now. Popular vote percentages, electoral numbers, time the winner will be announced by the Big Three networks. We'll climb onto the limb first: 51-47 for Obama, 338-200, and 9:01 p.m. Central.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

NEAL HEFTI, 85

Composed the theme from the TV series "Batman." Also came up with themes for "The Odd Couple," "Barefoot in the Park."

He used to be a Big Band trumpeter. And he won a Grammy for the Batman theme. Truly, a blessed life.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

FINAL DEBATE WINNERS

With a little less than 24 hours to go before the final presidential debate of the 2008 season, we can be sure of certain things:

-- John McCain will huff and puff. He may bring up the Bill Ayers issue, as he threatened to do on Tuesday:
"You have another debate coming up. The final debate. Many of your supporters are eager for you to confront Senator Obama on the Bill Ayers relationship in particular. Hillary Clinton even brought this up during the primary. Sen. Obama says you should have the guts to do it in person. So will you?" McCain was asked by KMOX's Mark Reardon.

"Oh yeah," said McCain. "You know, I was astonished to hear him say that he was surprised for me to have the guts to do that. Because the fact is that the question did not come up in that fashion so -- you know -- I think he's probably ensured that it will come up this time."
But only if the moderator brings up the issue first. We think. Probably.

-- McCain will try to mute the manic. He must do this to even have a chance of winning. Barack Obama's biggest strength in the past two debates was his serious calm. He acted like a president; people could see him in that role. That put him on level ground with McCain.

-- Obama will do everything not to screw up. He's the only one who can lose this race. He's got to know there are millions of people looking for an excuse to opt-out of voting for Obama. Some don't like him because he's black. Some don't like him because he's got a thin resume. Some don't like him because he's the modern-era Slick Willie, always a little too smart for his own good. One false move by Obama on Wednesday and daylight will disappear between him and McCain.

-- Everyone will smile when it's over, and we will know nothing more of substance about either of the two men running to run our world. The debate commission should starts charging the candidates lowest-unit rate for the ad time. Viewers get talking points, burnished by months of stump time. Lots of sound, little fury. Maybe we should make then dance.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

ONLY THE SHOUTING REMAINS

A little less than a month before the presidential election and the result is already becoming clear -- Barack Obama is going to win. The latest polls show him hovering at or above the 50-percent mark, ahead of John McCain by a half-dozen points and winning the perception game. Many McCain supporters expect Obama to triumph, even though the feeling is acid to their intestines. Lost faith, abandoned hope.

Only a cataclysm -- the proverbial dead girl or live boy -- can keep Obama from winning on Nov. 4. He'll be nicked and bloodied plenty before the votes are cast, but McCain cannot stop him. Neither can Sarah Palin, no matter how loud her bark. Devoid of discussion about their plans for our future, the GOP ticket has been reduced to incessant yapping about the badness of their opponents. They are Bob Dole without the humor, Walter Mondale without the eloquence. All they can do is smile and bray and pretend the hurricane hammering the screen door is only a drizzle.

Pretending -- or, as they like to call it, creating a new reality, a master trick of this century's Republican Party. As one of President Bush's senior advisers said in 2002:
"[W]e create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors ... and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do."
People attached to that "senior adviser" (read: Karl Rove) are now in John McCain's campaign posse; their greasy thumbprints are all over the place, instantly recognizable to the naked political eye.

They're rolling out the dogeared book of dirty tricks and pulling out their favorite reality changers. The biggest crowd-pleaser, naturally, involves demonizing The Media. Rolling Stone publishes a solid on McCain's unflattering past, but most conservatives won't bother to read it -- they're convinced the mainstream media is out to get their guy and his purty sidekick, dadgummit, so you can't believe anything The Media says.

This, of course, is a reliable hypocrisy from the camp that loves to hate. In their twist on twisted reality, The New York Times is a vile snakepit of liberal Obamabot liars, except when they write about Obama's connections to '60s radical William Ayers. That's when the Times is gospel money.

(One of our favorite conservative alternate-reality pranks is the "you won't see this in the mainstream media" snipe hunt. About once a month somebody will send an e-mail with a story or pictures about a heartwarming, positive story, datelined Iraq, with the header: You Won't See THIS In The Mainstream Media. The story, without fail, was written by The Associated Press and published across the country.)

The neo-reals have also uncorked the "some say" genie, a cousin to "fair and balanced." The latter claims "both sides" need to be heard, even if one side insists science is valid and the other clings to supernatural magic. Thank God the people who spew this line weren't reporting in 1945; they would have asked the Nazis for their side of the Holocaust -- you know, just to be fair and balanced.

Their "some say" attacks are clumsy but effective. "Some say Barack Obama is a Muslim." "Some say Obama is a sleeper agent for Al Qaeda." "Some say Obama is actually Osama bin Laden's second cousin, once removed." It might be bilge water, sure, but some say it's true, so why not have that debate? We don't expect McCain to go that far in his Tuesday debate with Obama, but anything is possible when a certifiably insane man runs for president. There could even be knives, though we suspect the debate commission will probably run both candidates through metal detectors before they take the stage.

McCain has no choice but to throw the long, noxious pass -- think of it as a Hail Mary stinkbomb. If it lands just right it will cover Obama in muck so deep and vile that every other Chicago politician will seem spotless by comparison. And even that might not be enough to stop Obama.

This is John McCain, distilled. Half a lifetime spent gladhanding and grinning, plotting and attaining, now reduced to one last gambit that probably won't work. Purgatory can be peculiar, especially in an unreal reality.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

SARAH PALIN READS EVERYTHING

Every newspaper, every magazine, every bit of journalism on the face of the planet. She said so herself, in an interview aired Tuesday on CBS.

An excerpt from the interview:
Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

Palin: I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

Couric: What, specifically?

Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Couric: Can you name a few?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn't a foreign country, where it's kind of suggested, "Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?" Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.
Who's in charge of making sure Palin doesn't sound like a fool?

Oh, she's also pro-contraception, and says it doesn't matter what causes global warming, because "it's real; we need to do something about it." Something for everyone to criticize.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

GHOSTS FROM BACK THERE

Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah wants everyone to donate $7 to stop Sen. Barack Obama from becoming president. Being the unimaginative sort, Hatch begs for bucks in a fundraising letter that epitomizes the problem with today's GOP -- it can't stop living in the past.

Writes Hatch:
You'd think it was the 1970s all over again.

Barack Obama is resurrecting Jimmy Carter's failed tax, energy and economic plans.

Iran is saber-rattling against the West.

And, Hanoi Jane Fonda is stumping for liberal Senate candidates.

That's right, tonight Jane Fonda and all of her far-left Hollywood liberal friends are expected to raise $1 million for Democrat Senate candidates with one goal in mind -- to break our Senate firewall and seize total control of our government!

"Everything now is 'Obama, Obama, Obama,' but we're also concerned about the Senate, which is critically important no matter who wins the White House. We need to give the Democrats a majority totaling at least 60 senators."

These Hollywood liberals understand the stakes. A 60-seat filibuster-proof super majority means conservatives would be powerless to stop the liberal agenda in the Senate.

Hollywood may not be on our side, but we have you.
Reds under Hollywood's beds, all that. Dusty bluster. No new ideas.

PAUL NEWMAN, 83

Lung cancer claimed the actor's life on Saturday. The natural-born world-shaker now resides in memory.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

WELCOME TO THE EVOLUTION

Monday marks the 173rd anniversary of the fateful landing of the HMS Beagle on the Galápagos Islands. Aboard that day in 1835 was Charles Darwin, whose five-year journey would bring us natural selection and the rise of the neocreationists.

Monday will include a clearer picture of the messy natural selection well underway on Wall Street. Bank of America Corp. will buy Merrill Lynch & Co. for about $29 a share, according to The Wall Street Journal. BofA paid a premium, of course, because it's only money, scads of money. No one outside the loop understands how BofA, a company with declining profits and an albatross named Countrywide Financial in its portfolio, can afford to pay $29 a share for Merrill Lynch, a company trading at $17 a share on Friday. Such is the weekend deal.

Lehman Brothers is in the toilet. Washington Mutual and A.I.G. could be goners by the end of the week. Britain could soon slide into recession.

A "once-in-a-century" financial meltdown, Alan Greenspan says, and "it still has a way to go." Already a notch past the teeter stage, we've yet to see the bottom. Extinctions will continue.

We will evolve and the good guys will win. Now we wait for someone to win, so we can call them good.

Friday, September 12, 2008

WWET?

What Would Eisenhower Think? By 11:45 p.m. Friday, Sept. 12, Hurricane Ike was acting more like this Ike, beating the daylights out of the best-laid plans.

And still the reporters journeyed into the wind and rain and lights, Murrowesque only in that this is real-life See It Now, a gathering of moths to the news flame.

We don't blame them; it's their kick-ass job. Wish we were there right now.

In lieu of that pleasure, it's Geraldo on the seawall, battling the surge for Fox. MSNBC has a crew at the wall, too, shooting a sat signal from a dish no bigger than a laptop. Photog was steady and dry inside the SUV. Reporter was the Brave Soul against The Elements. And the MSNBC signal didn't cut out like Geraldo's. Money, man. Bet Geraldo was pissed.

Anderson Cooper is waiting in Houston, sounding a little too eager when talking about flying shards of glass from high-rise buildings. Such is the price of fame.

LIKE 1968, ONLY BETTER

Forty years ago. The Election of Attrition. A political year of blood and mayhem, with the pitiful survivors of November crawling into an arena frequented only months earlier by the stars of their sport. Lyndon Johnson took a powder. So did Robert Kennedy, literally. Nelson Rockefeller was figuratively killed by his party for being too liberal, too Happy.

Democrats were left to front Hubert Humphrey, the happy-faced, fast-talking vice president. Republicans backed Richard Nixon, a paranoid scowler who'd already blown one bid for the White House. Everyone else got George Wallace, a racist still unaware of the bullet and wheelchair in his future.

We flash forward to four decades later and the circle is closed. The best candidates -- at least on the Democratic bench -- are back to flipping impeachment burgers (Dennis Kucinich) and minding the Senate store (Chris Dodd, Hillary Clinton). The Republicans overlooked an optimist and a Mormon.

Who would have bet six months ago that John McCain might beat Barack Obama? Bill Clinton:
"[H]e has some redeeming qualities for a Republican: he doesn't believe in toture, he supported campaign finance reform and he doesn't think global warming is a myth ... So it is not gonna be all that easy to beat him."
The Obama faithful sniffed and barked at the Big Dog for not snapping a stiff-armed salute at their Leader, but the Dog knows the truth: This is politics, not the debate club. Want to implement the ideas, the ideals? Win. Or at least act like you want to win, and try to keep your nutty fan club (relatives, close associates, pastors, pill-popping spouses) in the basement until the polls close in the general election.

Obama should be 10, maybe 12 points ahead of McCain at this point, getting ready to vet the cabinet. Bill Clinton was beating Bob Dole like Balboa beats beef slabs in August 1996. Because Clinton knew it's all about the lowest common denominator. Save the oration for the inauguration.

We said last January that McCain was off-his-rocker crazy -- a clinical term, not tossed around lightly -- and thus unqualified to be President of the United States. He's still all that, but turns out he's fox crazy, too, cunning and willing to use the WASP knife in battle. Hence the priggish Sarah Palin, a meaty bone to the GOP base that can't stand McCain (McPain is one of the nicer nicknames the far right uses).

McCain knows he's using his base to win. He knows he's using Palin, even if he believes she's unqualified. He's already on record belittling wanna-bes:
"I am prepared. I am prepared. I need no on-the-job training. I wasn't a mayor for a short period of time. I wasn't a governor for a short period of time."
Democrats will try to use McCain's words against him, but it won't work. They're too angry at Republican hypocrisy to think straight. They're baffled by the bullshit, belittling Palin at their peril. Wily Willie Brown, the best political animal ever to set foot in California, hailed the Palin pick as a brilliant political move:
"Republicans are now on offense and Democrats are on defense. And we don't do well on defense."
Joe Biden has been defanged by the choice of Palin. That attack dog won't hunt. Obama is spending too much time talking about the Republicans' veep pick, not enough time keeping it simple. And raising money, given his flip-flop on public financing of his campaign. He's got to raise $100 million a month to meet his fundraising goals, and he's falling short. While Obama begs for bucks, McCain campaigns.

Democrats don't get it. John McCain wants to win. They want to whine.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

A MONTH AND FOUR DAYS

That long since we last did any typing that didn't involve a TAKE WXMON or CG command. Look, Ma -- upper and lowercase letters!

Our apologies for the unexpected vacation from Blogistan. A bit of news from up north pushed CHATTER to a back burner. Rest assured, our focus has gone back to being unfocused. Summer reruns are over. A new season is here.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

PRIMARY NIGHT

Sarah Steelman tried but failed to topple Missouri's GOP machine and its chosen candidate, Kenny Hulshof.

A Matt Blunt-appointed circuit judge fails to hold onto his seat in Greene County.

And a Springfield sales tax sails to victory, 81-19, despite one tiny corner's loud attempts to bully people into voting "no."

Not quite 20-percent of registered voters in Greene County cast ballots on Tuesday. Pitiful that turnout was seen as OK.

At KSPR, the web served as platform for a nearly hour-long newscast, starting at 9 p.m. The newly installed news ticker digested and spit out results as fast as we could keyboard them into the system.

Did the primaries turn out the way you expected them to?

Sunday, August 03, 2008

ALEXANDER SOLZHENITSYN, 89

Death announced late Sunday by his son. He was a Nobel Prize winner.

According to The Associated Press:
Through unflinching accounts of the years he spent in the Soviet gulag, Solzhenitsyn's novels and non-fiction works exposed the secret history of the vast prison system that enslaved millions. The accounts riveted his countrymen and earned him years of bitter exile, but international renown.

And they inspired millions, perhaps, with the knowledge that one person's courage and integrity could, in the end, defeat the totalitarian machinery of an empire.
Ivan Denisovich lives on.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

FEAR AND LESBIAN LOATHING

The strokers at Fox News are consistent, give them that. They toe the conservative line and decry the baser parts of the world while filling your phiz with lurid images and stories about sex.

This week's big Fox News push: Why is America tolerating a song about lesbians?

We suspect they're hyping about "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry, a slip of a song with an insanely catchy chorus:
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
Fox insinuates the song will make straight girls rush off and join the lesbian brigade -- further proof that today's world is debauched beyond belief.

Yep. Thank God the black-and-white days were only filled with songs about straight, missionary-position sex (done in the dark, of course, 'cause with the lights out, it's less dangerous). No one sang about disgusting things like masturbation, right? Just ask Leo Sayer:
Miles and miles of empty space in between us
The telephone can't take the place of your smile.
But you know I won't be travelling for ever.
It's cold out
But hold out
And do like I do.
When I need love
I hold out my hands
And I touch love. I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day.
So much love. No one could ever accuse Sayer of being modest. And let's not even get into Devo.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

DOWN AND OUT IN JEFF CITY

An interesting op-ed in the Wall Street Journal highlights the difficulties facing Missouri Republicans in November. Selected grafs:
For an insight as to why the GOP is down and out in Washington, take a look at Jefferson City. That's where Sarah Steelman, the state treasurer, is running in an Aug. 5 primary for the Missouri governorship. And it's where her reform campaign against earmarks and self-dealing is threatening the entrenched status quo, causing her own party to rise against her.

So bitter are House Minority Whip Roy Blunt and Sen. Kit Bond at Ms. Steelman's attack on their cherished spending beliefs that last month they rallied the entire Missouri congressional delegation to put out a public statement openly criticizing her campaign against six-term U.S. Rep. Kenny Hulshof. Joining them in their support of Mr. Hulshof has been the vast majority of the state Republican machine. Ms. Steelman is clearly doing something right. ...

Ms. Steelman's Republican colleagues were livid with her attempt to strip them of comfy pensions, annoyed with her "sunshine law" requiring them to be more open in their dealings, furious at her attacks on their ethanol boondoggles, appalled that she criticized GOP state Speaker Rod Jetton for moonlighting as a paid political consultant. The final straw was her temerity to make her primary race about her opponent's Washington earmarking record.

For Mr. Blunt, this is also just a wee bit personal. His son, Matt, is the outgoing governor, and has been on the receiving end of a few Treasurer Steelman blasts. Last year she stopped payment on a $70,000 secret check his administration cut to settle a sexual harassment suit against an official. Her demand for transparency blew the case into the open, infuriating GOP colleagues. ...

Mr. Hulshof has been able to tout his own history as an ethics reformer, though the fervor with which his party's regulars have embraced him has undercut that message. His real weakness is that despite conservative credentials on taxes or social issues, he's run wild with the GOP crowd that just won't relinquish the pork. Which is of course why Mr. Blunt (who pioneered House earmarks) and Mr. Bond (who sits at earmark central, the Senate appropriations committee) love him.
Happy happy joy joy for Jay Nixon, Missouri's attorney general and Democratic candidate for governor. Nixon's a terrible public speaker and uninspiring gubernatorial candidate. But in this campaign cycle, all he needs is a pulse to be competitive.

Friday, July 18, 2008

HOOKALICIOUS

We're suckers for ear candy. Few things in life are as satisfying as a delicious pop song -- jingle-jangle guitars and sharp harmonies, a driving bass beat, a drummer doing more than just keeping time.

And a hook that sinks deep and sticks around for life. A catchy chorus? Nice enough, but it's the hook that survives. Here are 35 for your brain:

Baba O'Riley
The Who
No chorus necessary -- just the words "teenage wasteland."
Copacabana (At The Copa)
Barry Manilow
At the Copa.
The Wurlitzer Prize (I Don't Want to Get Over You)
Waylon Jennings
Catchy chorus overpowered by Jennings' tear-your-heart lament: "I don't want to get over you."
Zombie
The Cranberries
Dolores O'Riordan yelps her way into our brains.
Freddie's Dead
Curtis Mayfield
That's what I said.
Come As You Are
Nirvana
Sometimes the aural delight is a stretched-out word -- in this case, Kurt Cobain's "memory-ah."
Be My Baby
The Ronettes
Whoa-oh-oh-oh.
Perfect Situation
Weezer
Perfect, wordless singalong hook.
Five O'Clock World
The Vogues
Ditto.
Laid
James
Falsetto yelping can be good.
The Break Up Song
Greg Kihn Band
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
Runaway
Del Shannon
I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder.
Flathead
The Fratellis
Boisterous burst of voices making noise.
Crazy In Love
Beyoncé
She owes it all to the blast of horns first heard in The Chi-Lites' "Are You My Woman?"
Material Girl
Madonna
A material ... a material ... a material ...
I Want You Back
Jackson 5
Oh baby, give me one more chance.
Take On Me
A-ha
Slip of a song, but the dude can flit through the octaves.
The Adventure
Angels & Airwaves
I cannot live, I can't breathe, unless you do this with me.
Lullaby
Shawn Mullins
Everything's gonna be all right.
Maps
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
They don't love you like I love you.
I Miss You
Blink-182
Don't waste your time on me you're already a voice inside my head (or is it yed?).
Song 2
Blur
Whoo-hoo!
Baby One More Time
Britney Spears
Oh baby baby.
Lit Up
Buckcherry
I love the cocaine, I love the cocaine.
Le Freak
Chic
Freak out!
Hey Ya
Outkast
Shake it like a Polaroid picture.
Rock On
David Essex
James Dean.
Epic
Faith No More
You want it all but you can't have it.
Mmmbop
Hanson
The worst song, the best killer hook.
Doll Parts
Hole
Someday you will ache like I ache.
Holiday Road
Lindsey Buckingham
Buckingham's stretch on the word "road."
We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions
Queen
Stomp stomp clap. Everyone's done it.
Jessie's Girl
Rick Springfield
Why can't I find a woman like that?
Buddy Holly
Weezer
What's with these homies, dissin' my girl?
Hotel
R. Kelly featuring Cassidy
Checking out six in the morning.
These are our favorites. Yours?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

SPEAK IN MANY TONGUES

Sen. Barack Obama said this week that Americans need to make sure their kids know how to speak Spanish. Jingoists reared up and said Obama has it wrong -- Americans need to make sure immigrants know how to speak English.

Pollster Rasmussen has it this way:
A national telephone survey conducted last month by Rasmussen Reports found ... 83% place a higher priority on encouraging immigrants to speak English as their primary language. Just 13% take the opposite view and say it is more important for Americans to learn other languages.
It's not an either/or debate -- it shouldn't be, at least -- but it's startling to see how fury over illegal immigration has created devolution among many formerly high-functioning humans. Their offspring will curse their stubborn bones.

Pissed about immigrants not knowing English? Volunteer in an ESL class. While you're at it, learn Standard Mandarin. It's the skill of the future.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

MULLETS FOR MCCAIN

Ozarks definition of a mullet: The driver of a slow-moving RV, usually on a winding highway around Branson, always in front of you.

As RV Business reports, a poll shows mullets love Sen. John McCain:
Fully 67% of the 346 participants cast their ballots for Republican Senator McCain. Democratic Senator Barack Obama was a distant second at 25% while Libertarian Bob Barr carried 2% and another 6% were undecided.

The overwhelming factor among McCain supporters was his level of experience.

"There are several key issues, including national security, taxes and the economy," said a member of the supplier community. "Obama is inexperienced and has no track record to be qualified to lead our country. It's somewhat unbelievable he has gotten this far."
Slow-moving drivers for a slow-moving president.

Friday, July 04, 2008

JESSE HELMS, 86

The former U.S. Senator died early Friday, proving his patriotism by expiring on the Fourth of July.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

ARMCHAIR CHIT CHAT

Matt Petcoff gave birth this week to a blog: Armchair Chit Chat, a sports-oriented read with a bastard-cousin relationship to the blog you're reading. The name gives it away.

Give Brother Matt a looksee, watch as his child grows into something that attracts millions of eyeballs. Or so we hope for Mr. Petcoff.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

A FILM LIKE NO OTHER

The latest add to the CHATTER Wish List: Peter Greenaway's The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover, the closest thing to an acid trip without gnawing on blotter paper. No tinny aftertaste, and Helen Mirren is sensual.

We remember seeing it during a trip to D.C. and wishing, in vain, for the film to hit Springfield. Time to track down a DVD and add it to the library.

DESTROYED, NOT DEFEATED

Forty-seven years Wednesday since Ernest Hemingway went pop in search of his lost generation. Proof that all men do die equally, and that electroconvulsive therapy is probably not a good thing. There is also the truth that a double-barreled shotgun to the face is an effective way to check out, though it may leave the well-lighted room a little less than clean.

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them," the man once said. We aim to take that advice.

JULY EAR CANDY

Now playing on an iPod near you:
Funk #49
James Gang

Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television
George Carlin

Love Bomb
N.E.R.D.

Navajo Moon
Ana Popovic

Uninvited
Alanis Morissette

Radio Radio
Elvis Costello

I Let a Song Go Out Of My Heart
Thelonious Monk

Rocky Raccoon
The Beatles

21st Century Schizoid Man
King Crimson

Curtis 187
50 Cent
When my name in your mouth / Better watch how you talk ...